Stepping Stones: Examine Your Eyes - Regularly

May 1, 2012

Examine Your Eyes - Regularly

Transformational Thought

Over the last few days we have been discussing the complicated, and seemingly contradictory instructions the Bible gives about judging others. We saw how we seem to be called not to judge, yet we are also called to judge. The major component that helps us determine whether or not to judge,  is looking at the heart of both the judger and the judged.

As we discussed yesterday, the Bible calls us to correct our children … to pick elders and church leaders … to vote for Godly leaders in government … to be a third party helping to settle a dispute between two brothers. So again, the permission to judge rests in the motivating engines of our hearts. We need to examine what drives our judgments of other people.

God does not call us to condemn, shame, mock or belittle others. Neither are we called to exalt ourselves. On the contrary, our motivation needs to be one of compassion, love, service, and encouragement to others. We are to be a lighthouse and a mouthpiece, directing others to God and His Word.

Another important issue in judging is our own motivation. In today's scripture, Jesus describes a type of hypocrisy most of us have experienced. We are quick to condemn others, but avoid examining our own lives. Often our sins actually surpass theirs.

Self-assessment, evaluation, and reflection are so difficult for us. Looking at our weaknesses and mistakes is hard work. We look for any excuse to avoid this important and necessary task for growth. Focusing on someone else’s failures and blowing them out of proportion makes you look better and takes the spotlight off you.

Jesus says that before we can help others, we need to look at our own lives. Are we involved in wrongdoing that clouds our wisdom and hampers our ability to assess and help? Our sin, baggage, and issues can distort our perceptions of their conduct. We might even wrongly judge them. We could then give poor counsel as our issues bleed into our Biblical objectivity.

Not having our own houses in order also undermines our credibility as we speak into their lives. Why would someone listen to or believe my assessment when my own life is filled with sin, dysfunction, and blind spots? What expertise or wisdom can I really share with others if I can’t even identify and address the struggles that hinder my walk with God?

The ability to look closely at our own stuff and address it, is a pretty good indicator of our level of humility … or lack thereof. Low humility indicates high pride, which doesn’t help us speak into another’s life with Godliness. Finally, our dysfunction and sin hinder our prayers for others.

Today, sit down and identify areas in your life that are broken or off-track. You know what they are. As Jesus teaches, get the plank out of your own eye. Only then will you see clearly enough to help your friends. But more importantly, cleaning up your own walk dramatically increases your credibility as you speak into their lives about their problems. Have you performed an eye exam on yourself lately? Like me, you are probably overdue! Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge … and to condemn. Please forgive me. I know I get hypocritical at times, picking on others when I am struggling. Give me the courage to allow Your Holy Spirit to search me, teach me, and empower me to heal and transform my weaknesses. Thank You for allowing me to use what You taught me about myself, to help others grow. Grow in me a heart of compassion and not hypocrisy. Help me to extend the same grace to them that You have abundantly extended to me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the best mirror for my eye exam, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Matthew 7:3-5

Stepping Stones: How Should We “Judge” One Another?

April 30, 2012

How Should We “Judge” One Another?

Transformational Thought

In the last Stepping Stones, we opened up the topic of judging others. We saw how we are simultaneously called to judge and not to judge. We tried to differentiate between these two seemingly contradictory callings. The main element that clarifies the confusion involves looking at the heart of both the judge and the judged. You see, we are to judge others’ behaviors, but it’s impossible to judge their hearts.

So what right do we have to condemn others since we are not perfect? Jesus made this clear to the crowd condemning the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-9). They were clamoring to stone her, but Jesus said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." One by one, the accusers disappeared.

Condemnation is such a final judgment, and we don’t have the right, authority, or power to condemn anyone. Only God has the perfect slate and is the author who declares, and, more importantly, carries out the final judgment of “Condemned!”

But according to the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children …  to pick elders and church leaders with certain character … to vote for Godly leaders … to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two brothers. So again, the permission we have to judge is contingent upon the motivating engines in our hearts. We need to ask what drives our actions when we engage in the tricky and dangerous role of judging another person.

God does not call us to condemn, shame, mock, belittle, or somehow, lower others. Neither are we to exalt ourselves. But isn’t this the definition of what our flesh is all about? Satan certainly does all he can to accentuate this mentality. The temptation is to fall into lazy, me-centered behavior when God grants us the responsibility to judge the behavior of others.

Instead, our motivation needs to be one of compassion, love, service, and encouragement. We are to help others avoid reaping the perilous fruit of the flesh that continuous wrong behavior produces. We are to be the instrument of God, directing others to Him and His Word for direction, healing, and transformation so they can overcome sinful behavior. We need to embrace this motivational mindset and role, and guard against Satan’s me-centered head games.

Another component to consider is how we approach the person. Since we don’t know his motivation, we need to ask questions and help him recognize the misconduct. We can lovingly help him identify the motivations, fears, and issues, and the me-centered process that led to the wrong behavior. We also want him to know God’s forgiveness, and God’s desire to receive him back into a transforming relationship.

Today, jot down on a piece of paper the names of people whose behaviors God allows you to monitor and judge. Examine your heart and motivation in this assignment. If God has put you in a special position to speak into another person’s life, do it with love and with the motivations described above. You can be a great catalyst in their spiritual walks … or a major stumbling block … depending on your heart as you handle this assignment from God and for God. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

O God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge … and even worse, to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me to really see how I can be Your partner in ministry. Help me to recognize the people in my life whom you call me to “judge”. Teach me the seriousness of this responsibility and guard my heart from my flesh and Satan. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One slow to judge, always a servant, and quick to forgive, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.

John 8:3-9

Kw: , Character, Peace, Self-Evaluation, Judgment, Forgiveness, Relationships

Stepping Stones: To Judge Or Not To Judge

April 28-29, 2012

To Judge Or Not To Judge

Transformational Thought

Like it or not, we are judging something all the time. Someone’s clothes … hair … car … house … cleanliness … weight … attitude. Some say it is wrong to judge, and we are not to judge … that judging is up to God. He is the only one who has the right and authority to judge. So they will often quote, “judge not lest ye be judged.”

But in the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children … to pick elders and church leaders with certain character … to vote for Godly leaders … to judge false Bible teachers … to confront gossiping, addiction, or adulterous behavior … even to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two Christian brothers.

How can we carry out these duties without judging the individuals? What a dilemma … to judge or not to judge. How do we know when to judge and when to sit tight? Sorting out these contradictory instructions and scenarios is complex, and I don’t want to oversimplify, but most can be boiled down to this: 1. What’s at the center of your heart motivating your behavior, and 2. What lenses are you using to assess the situation.

Only God can see into hearts and truly judge the full scope of an event. We can judge conduct, but only hypothesize about the motivation leading to the person’s conduct. God knows everything and judges accurately, impartially, and according to absolute truth. We are too limited to make the same quality judgments. We are called to judge conduct (our next Stepping Stones will look at that element a little more), but not to judge someone’s heart. We do need to make sure our motives for judging conduct are focused on God and our focus is to serve the person we are judging and their “targets”.

Today, try to determine whether you are judging a person’s heart or their conduct. If you are judging heart, that is a dangerous area that needs to be approached with extreme caution. If you are called to judge a person’s conduct, examine your heart and motives. Are you using me-centered agendas and lenses? Be honest with yourself. When you judge the right things for the right reasons, in the right way, a big burden will be lifted. You will be so much freer is your relationships. Once you have the judgment, then glorify God in how you present that assessment to the individual you are called to judge and serve. You are called to judge, but judging well is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge … and to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me understand my own issues better, and resolve my needs so I don’t feel compelled to judge and ridicule others to lessen my fears, anxieties, or insecurities and inadequacies. I desire a heart that beats with Yours and wants to love and serve those You put into my life. Help me have a discerning lens to understand their struggles and lovingly and clearly show and teach them Your word. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One quickest to forgive, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;”

Luke 6:37

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

James 4:12

Stepping Stones: People Pleaser or God Pleaser?

April 27, 2012

People Pleaser or God Pleaser?

Transformational Thought

Who doesn’t want to see their kids happy, especially if we are the one bringing them delight? I love to please my daughters. But I also want to see them safe and healthy. So when they make unhealthy or dysfunctional requests, it is easy for me to say “NO!” … even though they aren’t pleased, and in fact, they might actually be upset, or cry because of my answer.

Need a couple of examples? What about when they ask … for their third bowl of ice cream … for the keys to the car and they’re only 13 … to stay out to midnight on a school night when they’re 14 … to camp out with a boyfriend, alone, when they are 16. All these will easily get a “no” answer from me regardless of how displeased my beloved daughters might be with my answer.

When fellow adults make dysfunctional requests, for some reason, for most of us, it is much harder to say “no”. Why is it hard to say ‘No’ to an adult? Sometimes it’s because I think they know more than I do about the particular situation … or they know what’s best for themselves more than I do … or I fear and hate being uneasy when people are mad or upset at me … or I fear their rejection … or I need their approval … or I need to  be needed or accepted. Too many “I need…” or “I fear…” lenses, based on a me-centered mentality, significantly interfere with our perspective, and lead to disrespectful, dysfunctional, or even sinful relational conduct.

When we focus on trying to please people by acting dysfunctionally, then our behavior is not serving or pleasing God. If we are truly His servants, then our primary goal will be to please Him first, not others.

When Jesus lived on earth, many who believed in Him would not admit their faith. Because these people were more concerned about personal safety and other people’s opinions rather than God’s opinion, they did not live out their faith. Likewise, when we live as people-pleasers, we are demonstrating the fact that we are more concerned about people’s approval instead of God’s … and therefore our walk with Him will always be hindered.

Today, ask yourself: What is my greatest perceived need or greatest perceived threat when someone makes a request of me … or when I feel the need to people-please in a relationship? Whom am I trying to please ... God or the person? Maybe most of your life is lived to please God, but there is still some situation … or some person … that triggers you to be a people-pleaser. God wants us to put Him first in all things … we cannot please Him by placing more importance on people’s opinions  … or our needs … over His. Pleasing God is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I do want to please You. Forgive me for the times I let my desire to be accepted by a person outweigh my desire to please You. Thank You for Your love and for accepting me unconditionally. Help me to be a better servant, doing the right thing, not the people-pleasing thing, as I grow healthy relationships with others. Give me courage and peace to withstand the pressure I feel when others are displeased with my answers. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who was the perfect servant, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

I am not trying to please people. I want to please God. Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

Galatians 1:10

Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.

John 12:42-43

Kw: , Needs, People-Pleasing, Conflict

Stepping Stones: “I’ll Only Do It This One Time”

April 26, 2012

 “I’ll Only Do It This One Time”

Transformational Thought

Paul wrote the second chapter of Romans to Jewish readers who believed they had a special relationship with God because they knew, approved, and were obedient to the Law of God. Many believed this relationship made them above the Law, and so were not careful in their lifestyles. They excused behaviors that were wrong and trusted in their supposed privileged position to shield them from the consequences of their guilt.

It is never enough just to know and approve what is right. It is never enough to be a church member or to be born into a Christian family. Nothing has any meaning without a relationship with God that is alive and based solely on faith in Christ as your personal Savior. In today's scripture, Paul is speaking to religious people who lack a living relationship with God.

Religious people are prone to rationalization. They often have a strong belief system. But when their beliefs and behaviors conflict, they may resolve the internal conflict by finding excuses for themselves. Many people are pro-life, but when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy in their own home, some are able to rationalize an abortion. Many oppose pornography, but allow themselves to indulge in secret. Nobody, I repeat, nobody is immune to rationalizing and excusing sinful behaviors and attitudes.

People rationalize sins such as cheating on their taxes, lying, having temper tantrums, gossiping, being bitter, harboring a grudge, controlling others, resisting change, continuing an addiction, or having an affair. "Everyone does it." "I deserve it." "It doesn’t really hurt anyone." "I'll only do it this one time."

Just like at the Last Supper, Jesus told Peter that he would deny Christ later on. Peter adamantly proclaimed his love and loyalty by claiming he would lay down his life for Jesus, but some hours later, Peter was able to rationalize the exact opposite of what he professed he would do, and did indeed deny Christ, not once, not twice, but three times.

Perhaps you have fallen into this rationalization trap. You know God’s Word. You say you believe it. And yet when it comes right down to your personal circumstances, you find a way to rationalize behavior that the Holy Bible condemns. Hypocrisy? You bet! But don’t just pout or deny you’re in this category, learn why you are tricked into thinking that your behavior results in benefit rather than harm.

Today, don’t rationalize or hide. Stop posing. Jesus died so you could lead a transformed life. That is the only place in which the peace and joy we all desire can be found. Faith in Christ sets us free from sin, but we must exercise and apply that faith to life’s situations. It isn't enough to know what the Bible says. God calls us into a close relationship that causes us to want to please Him. We will all stumble and fall along the way, but a close walk with the Lord should encourage us to repent and get back on the right path … to restore our relationship with Him. Knowing and speaking the Word isn't enough … we must live it. Act on what you believe, it’s your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, forgive me for reading Your Word but then going my own way. I pray that You will fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that Your Word will become a living part of me and that I will live to please You. Help me apply Your instruction clearly in my life. I pray that my relationship with You will grow stronger and my desire to please You will grow. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who lived His Father’s Word, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

For merely listening to the law doesn't make us right with God. It is obeying the law that makes us right in his sight.

Romans 2:13

Jesus said to him, "Truly, I say to you, this very night, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times." Peter said to him, "Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you." And so said all the disciples.

Matthew 26:34-35

And when he was gone out into the porch, another maid saw him, and said unto them that were there, “This fellow was also with Jesus of Nazareth.” And again he denied with an oath, “I do not know the man.” And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, “Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech betrayeth thee.” Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, “I know not the man.” And immediately the cock crew. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, “Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.” And he went out, and wept bitterly.

Matthew 26:71-75

Stepping Stones: Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

April 25, 2012

Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

Transformational Thought

As a teenager, I was so ideal in many ways. Trying to hold everyone to such an incredible and unattainable standard was my MO. But for myself, I was such a poser. Espousing and pretending to have ideal functioning, but underneath, the wheels were coming off. I would call those that didn’t measure up, hypocrites. Yet me, the biggest hypocrite.

What is a hypocrite? According to Webster, a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion, a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. In other words, hypocrites pretend to be someone or something that they aren’t. The definition doesn’t distinguish between an intentional or a subconscious (unintentional) deception.

The Bible teaches that a hypocrite is one who pretends to put God first in all things without really being pious … one who talks the talk without walking the walk. Jesus confronted hypocrites vigorously in His earthly ministry. These confrontations of truth pounding against their self-deception fueled the Pharisee’s desire to kill Jesus.

A hypocrite knows what is right but makes elaborate excuses for doing wrong, and rationalizes why his behavior is allowable. He weaves a web of self-deception that eventually traps his thinking and keeps him from seeing the truth. He makes himself king and writes his own rules to declare and stamp his conduct as permissible. My kingdom come, my will be done mentality, all the while proclaiming that Jesus is the Lord of his life.

We all tend to condemn other people's wrong actions and attitudes. At the same time, we are prone to excuse the same or worse behaviors in ourselves. We put on a good front and try to hide our real attitudes and feelings. We try to convince others … and even ourselves … that we are OK. Fooling others usually isn’t too hard, at least in the beginning. We might even delude ourselves for a while, at least on the surface. But God knows our hearts. He is not impressed by our outward displays of "being religious" or following the rules. He considers what we are inside ... our motivations, desires, and fears.

Today, objectively examine whether you are putting up a good front while you privately harbor sin in your life. Maybe the sin is something you are doing … participating in pornography, an adulterous relationship, angry outbursts, sharp words, over-eating, or some other wrong behavior. Maybe it's hidden inside … fear, anxiety, insecurity, bitterness, envy, lack of forgiveness. Remember that whatever it is … God already knows. He loves you and wants to help you overcome. You can start on the path to ending the sinful behavior by admitting your guilt to yourself … and to Him. WITHIN REACH can then help you take the next steps of applying the Bible and allowing God into those deep places in your heart and life and truly transform your heart. Being true or a hypocrite, your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I know I've been living a lie. I also know that You see the real me--You see my heart. Please forgive my sin and give me the strength to overcome. Help me to be honest with You, with myself, and with others. Open my eyes to the truth, and give me the courage to take one stepping stone at a time to follow Your guidance. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts.”

Luke 16:15

"You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy … full of greed and wickedness!"

Luke 11:39

Stepping Stones: You Didn’t Get a Brain Transplant?

April 23, 2012

 You Didn’t Get a Brain Transplant?

Transformational Thought

As we come to Jesus and begin to understand who we are in Him, a major task to propel us forward is to examine our past, see it through Godly lenses, put it behind us, and start marching forward. Paul makes it clear in today’s scripture that he is on a journey. He knows he is not perfect, but he determines to forget what used to motivate him … to forget his past achievements. He reaches forward … to become all Jesus wants him to be. He is moving in the right direction, toward Jesus … and he is intentional in not turning back.

That’s where we need to be too, taking one stepping stone at a time on our journey toward Jesus, to live out and accomplish His purpose for us. In the verse for today, Paul talks about forgetting, but what does he really mean? He is not talking about having amnesia about the past. Some Christians will tell you, “You are a new creation, don’t look at your past, only look forward.”

Now, listen closely as this is a very important point. It seems clear and silly when I say it, but it is a powerful point to me and hopefully to you with many ramifications that clarify journeying for the prize. Here is it comes: When we accepted Christ as our personal savior, we don’t get a brain transplant. Think about it, if we were totally transformed at that point of salvation, we would never have sinned again. How sad, that as believers, we do still sin. So there must be something we have to do to allow the perfect Holy Spirit to complete His job in perfecting an imperfect us.

You see, it is all comes down to decision-making. This is our part. Stewarding our decision-making opportunities. In order to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us, one thing we need to do is look at how our past adversely influences present decision-making. We need to forget the old motivations, goals, and pursuits we once had … and stop conforming to the world’s system.

Our past is what God allowed in our lives so we would draw close to Him. Another outcome is to prepare us for the good works He has planned for us. Many situations, both good and bad, from my life prior to my commitment to Christ, are used by God in ministry to others. This is what God intended. Forgetting my past would cause me to miss opportunities to learn about God’s grace, forgiveness, and love and to turn what Satan intended for bad into something God can use for His glory.

But when we look at our past, we do need to process it with a very specific focus on Jesus and God’s plans and goals. That will transform our lenses so we can take every thought captive and allow God to come in to those old areas of hurt. Then healing can occur … and truth will replace the ripples of distortion that Satan wants fogging our lenses.

Today, don’t ruminate about the past, but don’t ignore it as if you had a brain transplant. Your past is always affecting your decisions now, so examine your decisions today to understand how your past affects them. This will actually show you what is at the center of your heart. Your past will reveal why, in certain situations, other things are at the center of your heart, instead of God. WITHIN REACH and Edging Forward are our curriculum that helps you examine and understand your decision-making process, and become a Godly decision-maker. Whether you have a renewd mind(a brain transplant) is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear God, Thank You for Your healing and forgiveness. Help me to use my past hurts for my growth. Do not allow them to interfere with the growth You have for me.  Show me how to keep my eyes on Jesus as I move forward along the path You have for me. Help me to practice this skill regularly. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who has made everything right, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

Stepping Stones: How Do You See Yourself?

April 20, 2012

How Do You See Yourself?

Transformational Thought

One of the more difficult parts of my job is listening as people tell their personal stories of being abused. Many women get abused by their husbands, and at times, husbands get abused by wives. The most disheartening stories are those of adults, and especially those of children, talking about the physical or sexual abuse that was perpetrated on them. We in Pennsylvania have certainly heard of the travesties and reports of serial molestations by high profile coach Jerry Sandusky.

Abuse takes many forms … but it is always debilitating. It cripples not only the direct victim, but also the abuser and the people who witness it. When kids witness abuse it is especially devastating. In the United States alone, husbands and partners batter 3 to 4 million women each year. Three million reports of child abuse are made every year just in the United States. But experts estimate that the incidence of abuse and neglect is five times greater than reported. Many children are suffering from this hidden epidemic. While these are U.S. figures, the  same problems exist around the world, and in most places at much higher rates.

Last month, a YouTube video, KONY 2012, went viral. Joseph Kony is a ruthless militant rebel leader in Uganda who has been terrorizing a nation of kids for more than 20 years. He has used rape, maiming, disfigurement, and physical, emotional, and psychological abuse to kill off parents, and enslave or brainwash children to do his diabolic dirty work.

Abuse is a sin that dishonors God and disrespects His creation of life. Psychological abuse and spiritual abuse inflict critical damage above and beyond the terrible aspects of physical and sexual danger. The most chronic damage is the distortion of the lenses we need to see life accurately, from God’s perspective. We need eyes that see the truth. But abuse contaminates and significantly interferes with proper lens development.

Abuse erodes confidence and self-esteem. We begin believing what we are told about ourselves; we think that anyone treated violently and abusively must deserve it. These beliefs are often accepted early in life and become part of the initial lenses through which we see and process all information. Even if abuse occurs when we are older, the intensity of the experience makes it a formidable opponent to seeing ourselves as God sees us, our God-image.

Abuse communicates “I am worthless” … “I am an object to be used by you whenever you want” … “dignity, respect, and honor are not for me” … “I don’t deserve anything in life” … “I’ll never accomplish anything in life.” These distortions and interpretations form part of the foundation on which we build the rest of our lives.

Today, ask, “How do I see myself?” “Is my self-image based on other people’s words and actions toward me? Or is it based on the truth of God’s Word, a God-image?” God knew you before you were even born. He created you … and His works are wonderful. Let Jesus help take your focus off yourself and begin the process of training your eyes on Him. He is able to heal your eyes, to see yourself as He sees you.

Yes, as I wrote above, hearing reports of child abuse is the most difficult part of my job. On the flip side, being able to help these kids is a great blessing God has given me. In July this year, I will be privileged to lead a team of 6 into ground zero of Kony’s devastation in Gulu, Uganda. We will be working with 300 children who now live in refugee camps who were abused by Kony’s army and tactics. We will also be counseling and training 50 mentors who currently work with these 300 children. Unfortunately, most of these mentors were also victims of Kony’s terror. To read about our upcoming trip click here. This will be a very unique journey and the first of it’s kind in this area. Please support us financially and in prayer. The war isn’t over till the children are healed!

Prayer

Dear Father God, Thank You for this reminder that You formed me and made me … and that Your works are wonderful. I must admit, though, sometimes I don’t feel as though I’m wonderful at all. In fact, sometimes I feel as though I don’t deserve anything good. Help me to fully grasp what Jesus did for me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.

Matthew 13:15,16

Stepping Stones: God: The Ultimate Insurance

March 29, 2012

Transformational Thought

Martine, the kids and I are always chuckling at the many goofy insurance commercials on TV these days. The Geico commercials with the caveman and the stack of money with eyes are funny. We are partial to “Nationwide is on our side” as our daughters have had a couple accidents and Nationwide has been on our side. One time-honored classic is “The Good Hands People” of Allstate. They ask us to trust them, to submit and put our lives in their hands when potentially serious, life-endangering circumstances strike.

To submit a significant area of life to someone else, you really have to trust them, interview them, get other people’s feedback and check their track record. But you don’t really know until you give them an audition.

You see, God is the ultimate insurance company. Some say He sells fire insurance to save us from the fiery furnace of Hell. He also provides protection techniques to help us avoid “accidents” as well as services for navigating the system and restoring our property to it’s pristine condition when an “accident” does occur.

In order to fully submit our lives to God, we have to trust Him from the bottoms of our hearts. Trust His unconditional love. Trust that His way and instructions really are the best. Trust that He is able to deliver what He promises. Trust that listening to Him and obeying Him will keep us on track.

How do we build that kind of trust? By getting to know Him better … through prayer … through studying and meditating on the Bible … by being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Moreover, audition Him, experience His love and then look back and remember how He has loved us and helped us in the past. Recognize that His way has always proved to be the right way. When you look back at situations that didn’t work out despite your trust in God, I bet you inserted some of your plan in place of His, or used your own value system or time line instead of His to evaluate the results.

Even if you aren’t sure and haven’t been swayed by the preponderance of evidence, what are your other alternatives? Trust yourself? You know how much you mess up. Trust anyone else in this world or any other system? Not like there’s a great list of alternatives to choose from. Sure, you know a lot of nice people. And on the outside, they seem to have it together pretty well. But on the inside? Who knows?

Nobody has the big trustworthy hands of our Heavenly Father.

Today, listen for God’s voice and guidance in everything you do, everywhere you go. Slow down your thinking as you contemplate a few situations in your head. Ask, “What Godly principles are in this interaction or situation?” Are you submitting to His plan above all else? Is He truly at the center of your life? You will have much more peace when you know you have the best insurance company looking after your every step! Life is your decision, His insurance company or yours, choose well.

Prayer
Dear God, Please forgive me for all the times I’ve attempted to figure things out on my own … instead of relying on You. I do trust You … when life is going well and no curveballs are coming at me. Help me to trust You when adversity comes out of the blue. Teach me to tune into Your voice in everything I do and everywhere I go. Help me to seek Your will at all times and Your plan above my own desires. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One whose insurance policy covered all my sin covered with no deductible, Jesus Christ. And all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!
Proverbs 3:5-7

Stepping Stones: Why Settle for “Normal”?

March 28, 2012

Transformational Thought

Wanting to fit in or be accepted by others is a natural urge. We tend to follow the pursuits of those around us to connect or to find answers that we can’t uncover on our own. Sometimes answers come in the form of strategies our peers use to manage life and the spiritual warfare we wage on a daily basis.

It’s so easy to be influenced by (and even brainwashed into the belief) that the world’s view and thinking is accurate. Television programs subtly … and more and more recently, not so subtly … dishonor God. They present sinful attitudes, behaviors, and lifestyles as normal … over and over again through months, years, and even decades now. Without realizing it, we can gradually begin accepting sinful behavior as “normal.” The constant exposure, validation, and normalizing of evil behavior results in becoming desensitized to it.

Other influences … friends, employers, books, movies, family ... shape our thinking as well. One real danger has been introduced in the form of books and movies that claim to be Christian and use “Christian-ese” words. But in fact, they teach things that are totally unscriptural. Usually good teaching is mixed in with the deceptive teaching, drawing many Christians into accepting the whole because of some carefully placed Biblical truths. Jesus warned us to be careful … that even the elect could be deceived.

Remember we are in a spiritual battle and our foe is formidable and has studied us for thousands of years. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Satan is incredible. He will always come up with subtle strategies and methods to veer us away from God. He is also very patient. He doesn’t care if he steers you away from God only one degree per month at first. Then after a number of months, you hit that slippery slope and are in a free fall.

So how can we avoid being pulled by the world’s influences? By letting God transform us into a new person. But it’s not all up to Him. If it were, all Christians would be perfect … and I’ve met a bunch of you and know that just ain’t true! You see, we play a big part in this transformation process because God gave us free will and we need to be great stewards of it. We need to change the way we view our lives and our circumstances, and dissect our motivations. Then your decision-making will be Godly and transformation will occur exponentially in your spirit and mind, even rewiring your brain chemistry! Renewing the mind.

To develop the mind of Christ we must continually transform our mind, will, intellect and emotions. The transformation occurs by immersing ourselves in God’s Word, and then obeying it. We have to apply it, becoming Godly decision-makers for transformation to occur. This is why I am so relentless about teaching decision-making strategies and skills.

Today, measure every influence in the light of God’s Word … and reject those that don’t line up. Quit watching that television program. Don’t read that book. Choose what is right over what is easy or popular, or what feels good. Be willing to take a stand. Don’t be “normal”. Be special in Him and for Him. Life is your decision, so choose well and be transformed.

Prayer
Dear God, Open my eyes to the wrong influences in my life. Transform me into a new person by changing the way I think. Give me a deeper understanding of Your Word. Help me to live in obedience to Your will, and to make right choices even when they are difficult. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who never settled for normal, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think and renewing your mind. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2

Stepping Stones: Become a Living Sacrifice, It’s Easier Than You Think

March 26, 2012

Transformational Thought

Through the years, before Jesus died on the cross, God called the Israelites to offer animals as sacrifices for their sin. Sacrifice was a symbol for the coming Jesus who would one day die for our sins. Sacrifice also showed the people they needed to be obedient to God and His instructions. The act of sacrifice acknowledged God as the holy ruler of everything. Because sacrifices were offered at regular time intervals, they also provided a way for God’s people to develop some spiritual disciplines.

Then Jesus came and gave his own life on the cross to pay the ultimate everlasting sacrifice for our sins. Just before He died, Jesus said, “It is finished.” He died for all sins … past, present, and future. We no longer have to offer sacrifices to pay for our sins. When we accept Jesus as our Savior and make him Lord of our lives, our sins are transferred to Jesus’ account and are forgiven. PAID IN FULL! The really cool bonus is that Jesus’ righteousness, His perfection, is credited to our account.

But you see, we are called to be a living sacrifice. We die to ourselves and surrender our lives to Him. He wants us to turn the control of our minds and bodies over to His care. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done; not my kingdom come, my will be done. He views the total submission of our lives to His control as our ultimate act, our living sacrifice. Paul calls it our spiritual worship.

A living sacrifice sounds so formal and daunting. But a living sacrifice is simply committing your body, that is your actions, conduct or behavior to God. What are your actions? Actions are just the final step of your heart, attitude, viewpoint, and values. All this together, including the end action (which can be an internal one that nobody sees, or an external one that others do see) is the decision-making process. The reason I pound away at the importance of decision-making, is that it is spiritual worship. Godly decisions are an awesome form of worship. Garbage decisions occur when you worship yourself or something other than God.

Most of us like to feel in control. The thought of turning control over to someone else, even a loving and caring God, might seem frightening, risky, or just unappealing. What we need to remember is that God is a merciful and compassionate God. He wants what is best for us … and only He knows what that really is. He is all-knowing and all-powerful. We aren’t. How much better to submit to His control and trust His plan than to stick to an attitude that declares, “I can do it myself.”

Today, are you struggling with a temptation … a problem … a challenge area in your life? Sacrifice your agenda for God’s. Why not? Look what your way has gotten you. Apply God’s agenda for one week; really practice it daily. Ask others for their prayer, encouragement and accountability in this quest. See the power of God when you submit completely to His plan. Be a Godly living sacrifice. Remember, spiritual worship is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Holy God, I thank You for Jesus. I thank You that through Him, my sins are forgiven. I have committed my life to You and claim to make You Lord of every area of my life. But so many times I try to take control again. I know this shows a lack of trust in You. Please forgive me. May my body … all that I am … be a living sacrifice to You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who was the ultimate sacrifice, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say – AMEN

The Truth

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:1,2

Stepping Stones: Is The Grass Really Greener?

March 20, 2012

Transformational Thought

When Dominique was in elementary school, she saw a friend come into school using a cast and a temporary wheelchair and then transitioning to crutches a few days later. Dominique saw all the attention and special privileges showered on her friend so quickly and dramatically. She wished she could have an injured leg so she could enjoy that “greener” life on the other side. Maybe that is what the saying “green with envy” means.

In a past devotional, we talked about coveting - the desire to have something that isn’t ours. Today, I want to look at coveting from a different angle. Coveting is strongly focusing on something that someone else possesses … so much so that it distracts you from enjoying what God has given you.

The flip side of not coveting what others possess is being content with what you do have. We often spend so much time looking over the fence at another yard and wishing our grass were that green, that we forget to enjoy and play in our own yard. So many wonderful things are in our own backyard and, unfortunately, we get obsessed with wanting the next best trinket or gadget instead of maximizing what we already have. Let’s be grateful for the blessings God has given!

You see, when we covet, the bigger sin we commit is believing that God made a mistake. We think that God doesn’t really know us and doesn’t know what is best for our future growth. Satan wants us to believe God forgot to give us what we need … that He actually withheld what we deserve … that we are worthy of more … that we know the future better than God.

Remember, coveting isn’t just yearning to be a better person. That’s normal and healthy. Coveting is about not being thankful for what you have, not focusing on how to be a great steward of what you have, especially with your most important possession: your relationship with God.

Today, focus on what God has given you, and not on what He gave to someone else. Specifically commit to not paying attention to what other people have. Repeat after me: “God hasn’t given me that now because: 1. I have plenty on my plate; 2. I am not yet equipped to handle it well; 3. It really isn’t good for m3; or 4. My focus will be on it and not God. My grass really is the best shade of green for me, and I will focus on it, be a great steward of it, and enjoy it.” You decide where you focus, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I know You know what is best for me. Forgive my disbelief in Your provision and will for me. Help me to submit to Your plan and timeline. I want to focus on what You have blessed me with. I want to resist the temptation to focus on what others have. Thanks for all You have given me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who focused on You alone, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Then Moses said to the people, "Remember this day in which you came out from Egypt, out of the house of slavery, for by a strong hand the LORD brought you out from this place. No leavened bread shall be eaten. Today, in the month of Abib, you are going out. And when the LORD brings you into the land of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, which he swore to your fathers to give you, a land flowing with milk and honey, you shall keep this service in this month. When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, "Lest the people change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt." But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.
Exodus 13:3-5, 17-18

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4

Stepping Stones: Mourn With Those Who Mourn

March 19, 2012

Transformational Thought

Over the weekend, we talked about joy and the ability to rejoice in all circumstances. Well, in this world, sad things do happen. So some of you might be wondering, “How do I experience joy with a thankful attitude when sad or even evil events happen?” Well, it is possible to rejoice and mourn at the same time.

You see, when my daughter went off to college, excitement, joy, sadness and fear were just a part of the complex cocktail of emotions I experienced. Since we are multifaceted beings who wear many hats, every experience will evoke a number of emotions in us, and some of those feelings will contradict each other. I know that when it is time to give each of my 3 daughters in marriage, a flood of feelings will flow in me. They will run the spectrum from fear, sadness, and jealousy, to happiness, pride, excitement and exuberant expectation.

Losing a loved one or experiencing abuse are two of the most difficult situations in which to experience any positive feelings or thankfulness. When God places people alongside us to help us mourn and to keep us connected to Him while Satan is trying to isolate and destroy us, those angels are definitely worthy of thanksgiving. They helped me rejoice in the big picture of God’s plan even though that small chapter had a strong dose of sadness.

Perhaps you sense God calling you to minister to people who have suffered the loss of a loved one by death. But how? So often we feel helpless and just don't know what to say. We might even avoid contact with the bereaved person because we are afraid we might say or do the wrong thing.

Before entering this area of ministry, we must recognize that authenticity is essential. We dare not play charades or project false images or unrealistic hopes to the newly bereaved person. We should do some reading about the phases involved in the process of grieving … not to put the grieving person into a mold, but to better understand some of the stages that most people experience.

It is important to remember that ministering to a grieving person involves listening more than helping. We need to listen for Satan’s lies and gently bring them back to the truth. We cannot tell them what to do. We cannot fix their problem. But we can be with them. Our presence is more important than words. God calls us to come alongside and mourn with them, to be His tangible hands and audible voice – to share His love and compassion. God will work through you to show them they have value and dignity in His eyes.
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They know we cannot perform miracles, take away their loss or make the pain go away. They are just looking for connection … to walk the path with someone … to be shown hope and dignity … to be comforted and held when they feel they can’t function independently in this season of life.

Today, reflect on how you handle the loss of a loved one. What would you want? Has God put a grieving person in your life? How will you reveal Him to them? Take action and make that phone call. Invite God to work through you. Be Lighthouse to another. Your decision, choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, Teach me to help those who have suffered the loss of a loved one. My tendency is to try and "fix" the problem when someone is hurting. Help me remember that I can't fix the problem … can't speak the right words that will make everything better. Help me guard their heart from Satan and point them back to You. But I can be there. I can listen. I can pray. I can be your vehicle of love and compassion. I can mourn with them. May the love and compassion of Jesus flow through me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who mourns for us and with us, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15

And he said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to him, "Lord, come and see."
Jesus wept. So the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"
John 11:34-36

Stepping Stones: Joy: Always At Your Fingertips

March 17-18, 2012

Transformational Thought

I am very proud to say today’s devotional was written by my 17-year-old daughter Nicole Joy, She wrote this for me as a birthday present. This is an important Stepping Stone that she navigated in her life:

Two summers ago, I was really excited to go with so many of my friends on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic. Being a plan-driven, list-oriented person, (yes, I take after my dad), I made an excel spreadsheet checklist for everything I was going to bring. It listed out in perfect detail the exact pants, shorts, and T-shirts, and underwear for specific days and activities … then accessories (because I am a teenager) and everything else.

That’s not even the worst! I color-coded it for where it went in which bag! This might seem extreme but it is the way my brain works. I had everything from scissors to extra pens for myself and other people. I am the type of person who never asks anyone for anything because I already have one, or even doubles to lend to others. They’re always the ones asking me, which I don’t mind at all. I love to help people.

I wonder if you can predict where this adventure story is going?

Before we left Calvary Church at 3:30 AM, we prayed for everything to be safe & for the journey to play out as God planned. We each had a backpack, carry-on bag, and suitcase. And we also had a large 40-pound duffel filled with clothes we collected for the kids in the Dominican Republic. When we got to the airport in Santo Domingo, I was just soaking up the different smells in the air as we walked to the luggage check. That was where we were all helping get the 50+ suitcases from the unloading station.

I soon realized mine wasn’t there. We looked around everywhere for it, even on other people’s luggage carts! Long story short, after talking to an attendant, leaving a description and filing a report, we had to get going on the next leg of our journey. On the hour-long bus ride, I was surprisingly not as stressed as I thought I would be. I remembered a verse we had memorized in church from James 1:2-4 (see below). This is when I realized, that I had an opportunity to practice with one of life’s little adversities in life, just as I had learned from this verse ... and it worked. I was shocked at how I was acting, but then I realized how God helped me think and make a good decision. I am really thankful for this.

Plus, after that blessing, the story got better; I received my suitcase late the next day. It had been shipped to Denver, instead of the Dominican Republic.

Today, remember God loves you. He is sovereign, all-powerful, and all knowing. He will bring events or opportunities, what we call trials, into our lives to grow us. Whatever trial you face today, be thankful and rejoice. You will build perseverance and then character. Then you will be unstoppable in your quest for fulfillment, peace and joy. Change your attitude … the lenses you wear as you experience this trial … and you will actually change your stress level and the outcome. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, Thank You so much for loving me and growing me … through both good times and “trials”. I want to have the mind of Christ and glorify You in all situations, so others can see You through me. Thanks for being willing to let me be part of Your plan as you minister to others through me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who endured the Cross for the joy set before Him, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-4