May 8, 2012
Make Anger Your
Servant…Not Your Master
Transformational Thought
Yesterday we talked about how anger is not
necessarily about doing something wrong, dysfunctional, or sinful. But we are
still left with the important question, “What causes anger?” We often assume
anger is caused by a situation in which we find ourselves. We might think that it’s
a rude driver, an unfair criticism, or a friend's betrayal. In reality, the
answer is "nothing" around us causes anger, even though these
situations are usually followed by our own angry reactions. In fact, the angry
feeling is actually our own doing. You see the lenses we use to view situations
precipitate the feelings of anger. But we usually blame others for “making” us
feel that way.
Let me give an example to help clarify. During a
basketball game, if my team scores a last minute, game-winning basket, I am
excited. But someone rooting for the other team who experiences the same event may
actually be angry or frustrated, or have other negative emotions immediately
after the shot goes in. The event, a made shot, doesn’t cause the anger. If it
did, everybody experiencing the event would be angry. You see, the difference
is the lenses we use as we witness or experience the event. That’s the key
ingredient that determines our emotional response.
Understanding this key point is so freeing and
eye-opening. Anger (or any negative feeling) is a great warning system. Anger
lets us know when something is not going right or when potential danger exists.
If I were in the woods and saw a tiger, I would get angry, sad, worried, and
frightened. That’s an example of a good warning system letting me know
something is not safe, and it pushes me to action. Without negative feelings I
would probably walk merrily through the woods and get devoured by the tiger.
When someone insults us or treats us badly, we
should get angry. That lets us know a problem exists in the relationship and
needs to be addressed. Hopefully, we look at our options and choose how to
respond. God has given us free will to control our feelings, thoughts, and
actions. Will we choose unkind words or find a way to "get even"? Or will
we problem-solve and forgive? It's our choice. No matter what our backgrounds
or the current circumstances, we are responsible for our own behaviors and we
can’t blame them on our emotions.
Unfortunately, we often let our anger rule us. It
becomes the main influence on our decision-making. Anger serves us well as a
warning system. But anger is a very poor master when we let it become our
decision-maker in any situation. None of us express our feelings appropriately
all the time. But the Bible tells us, For I can do everything with the help
of Christ who gives me the strength I need. Philippians 4:13.
Today, notice when you feel angry. Stop and thank
God for a great warning system. Then look below the anger to the problem and
address it. If you don’t, your warning system (anger) will keep on alerting you
until the problem is resolved. Let Jesus help make anger your servant instead
of your master. Follow His attitude, actions, and teachings. WITHIN REACH helps you understand
your feelings, their role, how you misuse them, and how you can soothe them and
then steward them to the max for your benefit and God’s glory. Your response to
your anger is your decision, so choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father God, thank You so much for my anger,
and all my negative feelings. It is awesome to know you gave me a warning
system that alerts me to problems and danger. When I am wronged in some way,
help me to choose the Godly response … the one that is pleasing to You. Teach
me to control my anger, to have patience, to problem-solve, and to forgive. Thanks
for Your soothing Spirit when I feel angry. Help me to allow You in when I feel
this pain. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one who teaches me
how to handle all things well, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
Sensible people control their temper; they earn
respect by overlooking wrongs.
Proverbs 19:11
