Stepping Stones: Unresolved Anger Has Poisonous Roots!

May 9, 2012

Unresolved Anger Has Poisonous Roots!

Transformational Thought

When you feel angry with someone or something, do you express your feelings … or do you hold the anger inside? People who bury their anger usually believe they are doing the right thing by appearing calm on the outside and not blowing up. The reality, however, is that unresolved anger will fester and develop into resentment, bitterness, or even depression.

Some people respond to anger by immediately holding it in, and then releasing it or letting it go a short time later without hurting themselves or others. We can do this by playing ball or scrubbing the dishes while calming down, and then having an honest conversation with the person who upset us. When we handle our feelings like this, the results are often beneficial. But if you tend to hold your anger inside and grow resentful, ask God to help you share your angry feelings with people as they occur. We don’t want to share in a rage or with unkind words. We just want an honest but controlled expression of our feelings.

The Bible teaches that we shouldn't carry anger overnight. Get it settled before going to bed. Otherwise, it’s likely that resentment will grow. We see various Bible passages in which God and Jesus expressed their anger or displeasure, but did so with a heart, motivation, and method that were healthy and purposeful.

As we discussed yesterday, anger is just a God-given warning system … letting us know when a real or potential problem exists. Thankfully, until you actually do something about the underlying problem, your brain will continue to warn you. Not addressing the problem is what allows anger to grow, fester, and come out in harmful ways. Or it can be directed inward and lead to negative self-talk, low self-image, depression, isolation, or self-loathing. The negativity against ourselves may include cutting, excessive piercing and tattooing, addictions, or promiscuity.

Perhaps you are already experiencing bitterness because of unexpressed grievances from the past. The answer: when anger starts to warn you, acknowledge the hurt … forgive or ask for forgiveness … address and solve the original problem. You won’t have to work hard at letting go of the anger … because, when the problem is resolved, that original anger will quickly melt away.

Holding on to bitterness can damage your relationship with God, relationships with others, and your peace of mind. It even harms your health, especially your heart, blood pressure, digestive system, and brain chemistry. Being a problem solver, and forgiving and being forgiven can change all that. Ask God … He will guide and help you. Call our Helpline and we will find a therapist to equip you with Biblical skills to manage and express your anger well.

Today, if you notice that someone is angry, ask them, “You seem angry or upset. That anger is warning you about some problem. Can I help you work on or solve that problem?” Ask yourself the same question as well. WITHIN REACH helps you understand and utilize negative feelings to make great decisions. What you do with your emotions is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, forgive me and help me deal with the resentment and bitterness I have been carrying. Give me the strength and wisdom to move forward by acknowledging the hurt, controlling my anger, identifying the problem, solving the underlying issue, and forgiving. Thank You for the wonderful way You designed me. Help me understand that design better so I can be a great steward of my mind and free will. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the best mirror for my eye exam, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many

Hebrews 12:15

Kw: 

Stepping Stones: Make Anger Your Servant…Not Your Master

May 8, 2012

Make Anger Your Servant…Not Your Master

Transformational Thought

Yesterday we talked about how anger is not necessarily about doing something wrong, dysfunctional, or sinful. But we are still left with the important question, “What causes anger?” We often assume anger is caused by a situation in which we find ourselves. We might think that it’s a rude driver, an unfair criticism, or a friend's betrayal. In reality, the answer is "nothing" around us causes anger, even though these situations are usually followed by our own angry reactions. In fact, the angry feeling is actually our own doing. You see the lenses we use to view situations precipitate the feelings of anger. But we usually blame others for “making” us feel that way.

Let me give an example to help clarify. During a basketball game, if my team scores a last minute, game-winning basket, I am excited. But someone rooting for the other team who experiences the same event may actually be angry or frustrated, or have other negative emotions immediately after the shot goes in. The event, a made shot, doesn’t cause the anger. If it did, everybody experiencing the event would be angry. You see, the difference is the lenses we use as we witness or experience the event. That’s the key ingredient that determines our emotional response.

Understanding this key point is so freeing and eye-opening. Anger (or any negative feeling) is a great warning system. Anger lets us know when something is not going right or when potential danger exists. If I were in the woods and saw a tiger, I would get angry, sad, worried, and frightened. That’s an example of a good warning system letting me know something is not safe, and it pushes me to action. Without negative feelings I would probably walk merrily through the woods and get devoured by the tiger.

When someone insults us or treats us badly, we should get angry. That lets us know a problem exists in the relationship and needs to be addressed. Hopefully, we look at our options and choose how to respond. God has given us free will to control our feelings, thoughts, and actions. Will we choose unkind words or find a way to "get even"? Or will we problem-solve and forgive? It's our choice. No matter what our backgrounds or the current circumstances, we are responsible for our own behaviors and we can’t blame them on our emotions.

Unfortunately, we often let our anger rule us. It becomes the main influence on our decision-making. Anger serves us well as a warning system. But anger is a very poor master when we let it become our decision-maker in any situation. None of us express our feelings appropriately all the time. But the Bible tells us, For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. Philippians 4:13.

Today, notice when you feel angry. Stop and thank God for a great warning system. Then look below the anger to the problem and address it. If you don’t, your warning system (anger) will keep on alerting you until the problem is resolved. Let Jesus help make anger your servant instead of your master. Follow His attitude, actions, and teachings. WITHIN REACH helps you understand your feelings, their role, how you misuse them, and how you can soothe them and then steward them to the max for your benefit and God’s glory. Your response to your anger is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, thank You so much for my anger, and all my negative feelings. It is awesome to know you gave me a warning system that alerts me to problems and danger. When I am wronged in some way, help me to choose the Godly response … the one that is pleasing to You. Teach me to control my anger, to have patience, to problem-solve, and to forgive. Thanks for Your soothing Spirit when I feel angry. Help me to allow You in when I feel this pain. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one who teaches me how to handle all things well, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Proverbs 19:11

Stepping Stones: Anger … Right or Wrong?

May 7, 2012

Anger … Right or Wrong?

Transformational Thought

Anger: right or wrong? The answer is that anger is right … and the answer is it can also be wrong. Anger is a God-given emotional energy designed for good. But the way we use and express anger-produced energy can often be dysfunctional and lead to sin. But anger doesn’t have to lead to frustration, or worse yet, sin. With God's help, we can control the thoughts and actions that come when an event precipitates angry feelings in us. We can actually utilize our anger in a productive way for a great outcome.

The Bible tells of many times when anger was a positive force for achieving good: Moses' anger when the Israelites worshipped idols resulted in their repentance (Exodus 32:19-35); Jesus' anger motivated him to clear blasphemers and abusers from his Father's temple (Luke 19:45-48).

Actually, it seems like God is angry and jealous during half of the Old Testament, as mankind, especially the Israelites, chronically rejects God, and exalts himself to the throne doing his own thing. Remember why God sent the flood. Consider His response to the Tower of Babel. Think about the me-centered activities of Sodom and Gomorrah and God’s anger. Since we know God never sins, we know anger itself can’t be a bad or sinful thing. So then, what is anger and how can it be useful to us?

In fact, our anger can be a positive force in many daily situations. Appropriate anger in response to our children's wrong behaviors can motivate us as parents to exert firm but loving discipline. Anger against injustices and wrongdoing in our communities can motivate us to do something positive about those situations. Anger energizes and motivates us to take action when we might otherwise be passive in areas of struggle or conflict. Tomorrow, we will dig into anger’s best and most important role in our lives.

But we also need to be very careful, because our anger can also lead to sinful acts of selfishness, unkindness or even aggression. It is our responsibility to use our anger-induced energy in positive ways, even if it's just walking around the block to cool off. Satan knows that we have a lot of trouble handling our emotions, so he is always trying to push our emotional buttons. Most of the spiritual warfare is focused on deception and pushing emotions, especially negative ones. This is why alcohol and drugs, and even caffeine are so dangerous. These substances interfere with our control circuitry, and allow our feelings to surface unchecked. This is why suicides, domestic violence, sexual assaults, and physical fights often happen under the influence.

Today, if you experience anger, stop and remember that anger itself isn’t bad. It’s what you decide to do with your anger that determines a positive or negative outcome. When anger gives you energy to solve a problem, you need to figure out what the problem is … thinking with your head, not with your anger. As we find with most situations in life, how you manage your anger is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, forgive me for the times I have used my anger in sinful ways instead of as a positive force. I know I get irritated easily and for reasons that are me-centered. Help me to control my thoughts and actions and to use my anger in positive ways. Teach me to take all thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ, not to my own desires. Help me to develop eyes that see life more clearly and from a bigger perspective, Your view. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ. And all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry … but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. 

Ephesians 4:26-27

Stepping Stones: “Turn To Jesus” Means…

May 5-6, 2012

“Turn To Jesus” Means…

Transformational Thought

Can you believe all the changes since the year 2000? Computers, laptops, iPads, cell phones, texting, the internet, Netflix. And that is only a slice of communications. So how refreshing is this fact … Jesus never changes! When you climbed out of bed this morning, regardless of how you might have felt, or the subtle changes you went through last night, Jesus had not changed during the night, the last decade, or the past 2000 years … or forever. He is trustworthy and consistent, a solid rock in which to ground yourself.

            Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

No matter what your situation, you can turn to Jesus. Turn to Jesus … what does that mean? Obviously not just a physical turning, but let’s look at something more practical and powerful. First, we need to turn away from the world’s values, the world’s way of measuring success, its influences, and its decision-making strategies. It means turning away from the desires of our flesh.

What choices are you facing? In every circumstance we all make one very key decision that determines the outcome of that particular situation. That key choice is, “Which lenses will I use to view, experience, and assess this particular event God has allowed to come into my life?” Turning toward Jesus really means understanding, grabbing hold of, and using God’s instruction, forgiveness, grace, promises, and character to form the lenses I will use to view each situation God brings my way. Following Jesus means … choosing His way and His lenses, not yours … choosing to receive His love and all that goes with it … choosing to trust Him.

If you use His lenses, of course you will still have problems and challenges. Remember the trials Jesus endured? But each one of these opportunities (yes, I called them opportunities) will be easier to navigate. And even more, you will get through them in a way that grows you psychologically and spiritually, because it won’t be you who responds to the adversity. Jesus, who lives in you, will be responding. You will perceive and respond in a Christ-like way, thus actually developing the Mind of Christ.

Today, choose to turn to and trust Jesus, doing things His way. Examine your lenses, that is your attitude or worldview. Do you engage in life’s adversities with a Godly perspective, or a me-centered view? God has room to work in your life. He will help you move on past the hurt, pain, and failures of the past. He will give you hope for the future. Use lenses based on who He is and what He teaches. Don’t use those distorted lenses with all the muck you’ve accumulated from this world. Your lenses are your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I do want to trust You … not just verbalize it, but actually trust you in every circumstance. I know You love me and that Your plan for me is the best plan. Please keep me on track … show me the next step … and the next one after that. I know turning to You isn’t physical, it is all mental. Help me turn it all over to You and allow Your perspective to be my lenses. Not just in the good times, but also in the times of testing and discomfort. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one whom I choose to follow, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!

Proverbs 3:5-7

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Stepping Stones: Shortcuts: Better Think Twice

May 2, 2012

Shortcuts: Better Think Twice

Transformational Thought

On a recent business trip, I was standing in line at the omelet station of a nice restaurant serving brunch. Four or 5 people were ahead on me in line. Then a well dressed, middle-age man and his teenage son walked to the front of the line to place their orders. A couple of us gave him “The Look.” You know, the “you did something wrong, but I don’t want to be verbal and embarrass you or bring more attention to you.” The man seemed oblivious. Just before an older woman was ready to blow, the chef gently told the man there was a line.

As the man stepped back, I assumed he was just making an honest mistake, so I jokingly asked; “Were you trying to cut in line?” His response saddened me as he bragged in front of his son, “Absolutely … if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”

It’s hard to measure, but it sure feels like our society is increasingly turning to shortcuts, and even cheating, to get what we want. And the guy in the omelet line was not only attempting to cheat … he even adopted a slogan to glorify it. If this is what he does in public, he must be even worse when no one is looking. He has no accountability is in place to contain his behavior. What is he teaching his young son?

Then I realized how often “I cut in line” during the day. Sleeping in … taking that extra doughnut or cookie … not confronting a situation that needs it … procrastinating on a less desirable project … judging someone before all the evidence is in … doing a task halfway … leaving a wrapper behind the garbage for someone else to pick up. And these all happened before lunch! I am too embarrassed to tell you my major “short-cuts” … otherwise known as bad habits, addictions, and dysfunctional patterns. These are the shortcuts I take away from God’s plan … how I cheat in life.

It’s unbelievable what we are willing to do to avoid a little discomfort. Then we rationalize that it’s self-protective, when actually, it is incredibly self-destructive. Our shortcuts harm our brain circuitry, our personality and psychological skill maturation. They are especially harmful to our spiritual walk: developing the Mind of Christ. You see, these shortcuts don’t renew the mind, They undermine, weaken, deceive, and brainwash our mind.

Today, examine your behaviors and actions. Are you taking shortcuts … or cheating? Why? Does it feeling “good” or avoid some discomfort worth sacrificing? When you cheat, you are actually cheating yourself. Even worse, you are cheating God out of the best you can offer. Sort of like Cain. Be mindful that even minor infractions eventually trend toward major violations. Conversely, small character- building actions truly renew your mind so you become a powerful lighthouse of good character. As always, the decision is yours … don’t harm yourself by choosing shortcuts, choose well.

Prayer

O God, I confess that I have been guilty of cheating … in small ways and in big ones. I ask for Your forgiveness, Father. I know You have protected me from the many consequences of my shortcuts. Thank You for Your amazing grace. I pray that You fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that He may guide me to the “right-way” … into “Your way” in all that I do. Help me to recognize that shortcuts are not beneficial to me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who always avoided shortcuts with ultimate integrity and character, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

Luke 16:10

The righteous detest the dishonest; the wicked detest the upright.

Proverbs 29:27

Stepping Stones: Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

April 25, 2012

Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

Transformational Thought

As a teenager, I was so ideal in many ways. Trying to hold everyone to such an incredible and unattainable standard was my MO. But for myself, I was such a poser. Espousing and pretending to have ideal functioning, but underneath, the wheels were coming off. I would call those that didn’t measure up, hypocrites. Yet me, the biggest hypocrite.

What is a hypocrite? According to Webster, a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion, a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. In other words, hypocrites pretend to be someone or something that they aren’t. The definition doesn’t distinguish between an intentional or a subconscious (unintentional) deception.

The Bible teaches that a hypocrite is one who pretends to put God first in all things without really being pious … one who talks the talk without walking the walk. Jesus confronted hypocrites vigorously in His earthly ministry. These confrontations of truth pounding against their self-deception fueled the Pharisee’s desire to kill Jesus.

A hypocrite knows what is right but makes elaborate excuses for doing wrong, and rationalizes why his behavior is allowable. He weaves a web of self-deception that eventually traps his thinking and keeps him from seeing the truth. He makes himself king and writes his own rules to declare and stamp his conduct as permissible. My kingdom come, my will be done mentality, all the while proclaiming that Jesus is the Lord of his life.

We all tend to condemn other people's wrong actions and attitudes. At the same time, we are prone to excuse the same or worse behaviors in ourselves. We put on a good front and try to hide our real attitudes and feelings. We try to convince others … and even ourselves … that we are OK. Fooling others usually isn’t too hard, at least in the beginning. We might even delude ourselves for a while, at least on the surface. But God knows our hearts. He is not impressed by our outward displays of "being religious" or following the rules. He considers what we are inside ... our motivations, desires, and fears.

Today, objectively examine whether you are putting up a good front while you privately harbor sin in your life. Maybe the sin is something you are doing … participating in pornography, an adulterous relationship, angry outbursts, sharp words, over-eating, or some other wrong behavior. Maybe it's hidden inside … fear, anxiety, insecurity, bitterness, envy, lack of forgiveness. Remember that whatever it is … God already knows. He loves you and wants to help you overcome. You can start on the path to ending the sinful behavior by admitting your guilt to yourself … and to Him. WITHIN REACH can then help you take the next steps of applying the Bible and allowing God into those deep places in your heart and life and truly transform your heart. Being true or a hypocrite, your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I know I've been living a lie. I also know that You see the real me--You see my heart. Please forgive my sin and give me the strength to overcome. Help me to be honest with You, with myself, and with others. Open my eyes to the truth, and give me the courage to take one stepping stone at a time to follow Your guidance. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts.”

Luke 16:15

"You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy … full of greed and wickedness!"

Luke 11:39

Stepping Stones: Whose Instruction Book Do You Use?

April 24, 2012

Whose Instruction Book Do You Use?

Transformational Thought

God loves us so much, so much, so instead of making you as a robot that is pre-programmed, He gives us the freedom to make our own choices. Some, like what sox to wear, are of little consequence, but others are life-changing. This freedom of choice dates back to Adam and Eve. They made one choice that went against God’s instruction book and sin has dramatically affected the lives and events of all mankind ever since.

The freedom to make choices is great for us, but, and it is a big but, this freedom brings grave responsibility. We have all made poor choices at times and have suffered the consequences. The good news is that no matter what choices we have made in the past, there is always opportunity for a better future. God knew that we would make some bad choices, but He loves us so much that He sent Jesus. And Jesus willingly, His free-will choice, paid the price for our sin to provide a way to restore our relationship with God.

Some people go through life carrying the load of some wrong choices they’ve made in the past. They believe they’ve messed up so badly that nothing good can ever come of their lives. Do you ever feel this way? Good news! If you want to be set free from the past, Jesus is the answer. He has already paid the price for your sin … for every wrong choice you’ve ever made.

Make a good decision right now by accepting His payment for your sin. This could be the first time (becoming saved) or part of the regular practice of confession, which is a powerful coping skill. God has always wanted to forgive you and help you make better choices. That is why He sent His Son, gave us the Holy Spirit to guide and empower us, and spelled it all out in His instruction book, The Holy Bible.

Many decisions are tough and it’s a great benefit to have a guidebook for our journey. Now it’s up to us … what decision will we make? To follow the greatest instruction book of all time, or to continually write and follow our own very flawed instruction book. I know where “Life According to the Book of Karl” gets me. Although it seemed cool when I was writing it, it truly was hell to live at times. Thank You God for Your amazing grace!

Today, when you make a mistake, stop and look at whose instruction book are you using, yours or God’s. Next time you are in a tough situation, choose to use God’s instruction book instead of the knee-jerk response from your own or society’s instruction book. Document how different the results will be as you develop the spiritual radar of tuning into God’s frequency. Remember, you are very special to God and He loves you no matter what you’ve done. He wants you to put the past behind so that you can become all He has designed you to be. It’s never to late to make good decisions. Learn from your mistakes … and look forward to a future filled with hope. WITHIN REACH is designed to help you practically use God’s instruction manual in all the daily decisions that are your walk. The instruction manual you use is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, thank You for forgiving my sins. I’ve made so many wrong choices. Help me now to put them behind and to look forward to the future You have planned for me … one filled with hope. Show me how to use Your instructions from Your Holy Bible. Thanks for creating me then giving me the instruction book so I can function well and glorify You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who lived Your instruction manual, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

For the word of God is living and full of power, and is sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting through and making a division even of the soul and the spirit, the bones and the muscles, and quick to see the thoughts and purposes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

Stepping Stones: You Didn’t Get a Brain Transplant?

April 23, 2012

 You Didn’t Get a Brain Transplant?

Transformational Thought

As we come to Jesus and begin to understand who we are in Him, a major task to propel us forward is to examine our past, see it through Godly lenses, put it behind us, and start marching forward. Paul makes it clear in today’s scripture that he is on a journey. He knows he is not perfect, but he determines to forget what used to motivate him … to forget his past achievements. He reaches forward … to become all Jesus wants him to be. He is moving in the right direction, toward Jesus … and he is intentional in not turning back.

That’s where we need to be too, taking one stepping stone at a time on our journey toward Jesus, to live out and accomplish His purpose for us. In the verse for today, Paul talks about forgetting, but what does he really mean? He is not talking about having amnesia about the past. Some Christians will tell you, “You are a new creation, don’t look at your past, only look forward.”

Now, listen closely as this is a very important point. It seems clear and silly when I say it, but it is a powerful point to me and hopefully to you with many ramifications that clarify journeying for the prize. Here is it comes: When we accepted Christ as our personal savior, we don’t get a brain transplant. Think about it, if we were totally transformed at that point of salvation, we would never have sinned again. How sad, that as believers, we do still sin. So there must be something we have to do to allow the perfect Holy Spirit to complete His job in perfecting an imperfect us.

You see, it is all comes down to decision-making. This is our part. Stewarding our decision-making opportunities. In order to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us, one thing we need to do is look at how our past adversely influences present decision-making. We need to forget the old motivations, goals, and pursuits we once had … and stop conforming to the world’s system.

Our past is what God allowed in our lives so we would draw close to Him. Another outcome is to prepare us for the good works He has planned for us. Many situations, both good and bad, from my life prior to my commitment to Christ, are used by God in ministry to others. This is what God intended. Forgetting my past would cause me to miss opportunities to learn about God’s grace, forgiveness, and love and to turn what Satan intended for bad into something God can use for His glory.

But when we look at our past, we do need to process it with a very specific focus on Jesus and God’s plans and goals. That will transform our lenses so we can take every thought captive and allow God to come in to those old areas of hurt. Then healing can occur … and truth will replace the ripples of distortion that Satan wants fogging our lenses.

Today, don’t ruminate about the past, but don’t ignore it as if you had a brain transplant. Your past is always affecting your decisions now, so examine your decisions today to understand how your past affects them. This will actually show you what is at the center of your heart. Your past will reveal why, in certain situations, other things are at the center of your heart, instead of God. WITHIN REACH and Edging Forward are our curriculum that helps you examine and understand your decision-making process, and become a Godly decision-maker. Whether you have a renewd mind(a brain transplant) is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear God, Thank You for Your healing and forgiveness. Help me to use my past hurts for my growth. Do not allow them to interfere with the growth You have for me.  Show me how to keep my eyes on Jesus as I move forward along the path You have for me. Help me to practice this skill regularly. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who has made everything right, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

Stepping Stones: Claim The Victory, It’s Already Won!

April 21-22, 2012

Claim The Victory, It’s Already Won!

Transformational Thought

Have you ever had that feeling? You know what I’m talking about. Life seems to be going well, everything is falling into place. You are on a roll, hit a streak. But then, out of the blue, all of a sudden, it comes like a thief in the night. I will feel a cold, wet blanket come over me. A memory from my past creeps into my mind … then it feels like all the goodness gets sucked right out of the moment like the most powerful vacuum you’ve seen just got in you head and replaces all the good stuff with negative. Shame, guilt, doubt, worry, or regret instantly flood my mind and seek to control my heart.

Perhaps you have made some poor choices in the past and are suffering the consequences. Maybe you have suffered a traumatic personal loss. Perhaps you have suffered abuse from a parent or spouse or another “trusted” person. It doesn’t have to be a “major” trauma either. Most hurts for any 6 y.o. are somewhat “traumatic” because we usually don’t have very good coping mechanisms or interpreters in our life to put the hurt of being picked last on the playground in proper context for us.

Many of these minor hurts, unless interpreted and processed well, which most kids never do, leave lingering messages of doubt and confusion that Satan uses to steal away times of joy and blessing.

Read today’s scripture carefully. God promises that despite all these obstacles of life, you can have overwhelming victory through Christ. Come to Him for help … and forgiveness. If you let Christ in, nothing … absolutely nothing … can separate you from His love. No reason all that stuff from the past should steal another minute of your joy and happiness. A victory doesn’t just mean to win … it means a decisive win … a win that leaves no doubt.

It is easy to look at scriptures about God’s love and think, “Yes, God loves all people.” But in our innermost being we don’t include ourselves in the “all people.” We think, “I’m different … I’m just not good enough … That’s alright for other people, but I’ve made too many mistakes. I’ve got special circumstances. It’s too late for me.” We need to examine and search for the lies that keep us feeling defeated with no chance of winning in this life on Earth.

God’s Word makes it abundantly clear that you are included. No matter what you have done. No matter what other people say or think about you. No matter what you think about yourself. God loves you. Jesus died for you. Nothing will ever separate you from His love.

Today, stop when you struggle. Tell yourself “God loves me and He proved it.” Then consider how that changes your view of the moment. Walk with Jesus and you can have overwhelming victory over every problem and obstacle in your life. The problems might still be there … the obstacles may still come. But you won’t have to face them alone or have a defeated attitude and perspective. God will empower you to overcome. Your joy and victory is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, thank You that these promises are not just for other people … but they are really for me. Thank You for your unconditional love. Thank You that no matter what happened in the past or comes my way in the future, I can walk in victory through Jesus. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who made my victory possible, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I know that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow … not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below … indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

Stepping Stones: How Do You See Yourself?

April 20, 2012

How Do You See Yourself?

Transformational Thought

One of the more difficult parts of my job is listening as people tell their personal stories of being abused. Many women get abused by their husbands, and at times, husbands get abused by wives. The most disheartening stories are those of adults, and especially those of children, talking about the physical or sexual abuse that was perpetrated on them. We in Pennsylvania have certainly heard of the travesties and reports of serial molestations by high profile coach Jerry Sandusky.

Abuse takes many forms … but it is always debilitating. It cripples not only the direct victim, but also the abuser and the people who witness it. When kids witness abuse it is especially devastating. In the United States alone, husbands and partners batter 3 to 4 million women each year. Three million reports of child abuse are made every year just in the United States. But experts estimate that the incidence of abuse and neglect is five times greater than reported. Many children are suffering from this hidden epidemic. While these are U.S. figures, the  same problems exist around the world, and in most places at much higher rates.

Last month, a YouTube video, KONY 2012, went viral. Joseph Kony is a ruthless militant rebel leader in Uganda who has been terrorizing a nation of kids for more than 20 years. He has used rape, maiming, disfigurement, and physical, emotional, and psychological abuse to kill off parents, and enslave or brainwash children to do his diabolic dirty work.

Abuse is a sin that dishonors God and disrespects His creation of life. Psychological abuse and spiritual abuse inflict critical damage above and beyond the terrible aspects of physical and sexual danger. The most chronic damage is the distortion of the lenses we need to see life accurately, from God’s perspective. We need eyes that see the truth. But abuse contaminates and significantly interferes with proper lens development.

Abuse erodes confidence and self-esteem. We begin believing what we are told about ourselves; we think that anyone treated violently and abusively must deserve it. These beliefs are often accepted early in life and become part of the initial lenses through which we see and process all information. Even if abuse occurs when we are older, the intensity of the experience makes it a formidable opponent to seeing ourselves as God sees us, our God-image.

Abuse communicates “I am worthless” … “I am an object to be used by you whenever you want” … “dignity, respect, and honor are not for me” … “I don’t deserve anything in life” … “I’ll never accomplish anything in life.” These distortions and interpretations form part of the foundation on which we build the rest of our lives.

Today, ask, “How do I see myself?” “Is my self-image based on other people’s words and actions toward me? Or is it based on the truth of God’s Word, a God-image?” God knew you before you were even born. He created you … and His works are wonderful. Let Jesus help take your focus off yourself and begin the process of training your eyes on Him. He is able to heal your eyes, to see yourself as He sees you.

Yes, as I wrote above, hearing reports of child abuse is the most difficult part of my job. On the flip side, being able to help these kids is a great blessing God has given me. In July this year, I will be privileged to lead a team of 6 into ground zero of Kony’s devastation in Gulu, Uganda. We will be working with 300 children who now live in refugee camps who were abused by Kony’s army and tactics. We will also be counseling and training 50 mentors who currently work with these 300 children. Unfortunately, most of these mentors were also victims of Kony’s terror. To read about our upcoming trip click here. This will be a very unique journey and the first of it’s kind in this area. Please support us financially and in prayer. The war isn’t over till the children are healed!

Prayer

Dear Father God, Thank You for this reminder that You formed me and made me … and that Your works are wonderful. I must admit, though, sometimes I don’t feel as though I’m wonderful at all. In fact, sometimes I feel as though I don’t deserve anything good. Help me to fully grasp what Jesus did for me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.

Matthew 13:15,16

Stepping Stones: You Are Never Alone!

April 19, 2012

 You Are Never Alone!

Transformational Thought

One of my favorite childhood TV shows was Gilligan’s Island. Did I ever have a crush on Maryanne! The cast had fun adventures with different strangers on the island, and constructed modern day amenities out of coconuts and palm tree leaves. But the most important item they had was really each other. By contrast, in the movie “Castaway,” Tom Hanks was stranded on an island by himself and went crazy.

Do you ever feel as if you are stranded on an island, all alone? The other day, I had a very difficult decision to make. The initial sense that came to me was “Wow, I have no help from anyone else, this is all on me, and me alone.” I felt isolation and loneliness … not really sensing anyone around to help me. I was in it by myself and had to bear the burden of getting all the info and making the decision, as well as the responsibility of bearing any consequences of making a wrong decision all by myself.

Whenever I am in the midst of one of life’s storms, I have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness … of being alone. Like I am on an island all by myself. Unable to ask questions, brainstorm with others, without anyone to encourage or comfort me. I can’t even see a ship or another island around providing the hope of some help. I can be standing in the middle of a crowded room yet feel completely alone.

We have all experienced loneliness. In fact many people struggling with depression feel as though they are alone most of the time. They often feel that no one cares or understands … as though even God is distant and unavailable, punishing us for not pursuing Him. When I was a kid, I often thought He was concerned with more important things in the world than my trivial life and frustrations.

Being a psychiatrist, I have many medical books about healing in my bookshelf, but the most accurate and powerful book is the Holy Bible. When I am feeling alone, I look in the Bible for the truth. Then I try to uncover the issues, distortions, or misinterpretations that influence me to believe the lie that God is not right there with me.

You may feel alone, but the truth, the actual reality, is that God is always with you. Here are just a few of His promises: I am with you (Genesis 28:15). I walk with you (Leviticus 26:12). I am near you (Psalm 34:18). I hold your right hand (Isaiah 41:13). I carry you even into old age (Isaiah 46:4).

You see, Satan has been pounding away at you since your first breaths to trick you into believing that: 1. God doesn’t exist; 2. If He does exist, He’s too busy for you; 3. If He isn’t too busy, then you’re not good enough yet; or 4. God is mean and punitive and has sent you to the dungeon or corner of life indefinitely.

Today, identify what lies you believe when you are under stress, like believing God is not with you. You must identify it or it will keep on influencing you. You need to practice debunking that lie, because you practiced believing the wrong way many times. Replace it with the truth so you can be encouraged by reading these scriptures and others like them. Write your favorites down and put them where you see them all the time. Speak them aloud. Substitute your own name for the word “you”. God says, I am with (your name) … I walk with (your name) … I am near (your name). God is speaking these promises to you personally. Remember … you are never alone. Jesus is with you. He is with you this moment. He will be with you tonight … and tomorrow. He will be with you through the good times and bad. He will never leave you. It’s your decision what you believe about God’s presence, so choose well. WITHIN REACH will help you uncover the lies you believe and practice replacing them with truth.

Prayer

Dear Father God, Thank You for Your many promises to be with me … always. Help me believe Your promises more than I believe my feelings. I pray, Father, for all those within the Stepping Stones community who feel they are alone. Help them dig to uncover the lies about You. Reveal Your presence in a powerful way. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who is always with me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

The LORD is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.

Psalm 34:18