April 18, 2012
Go on a Fox Hunt!
Transformational Thought
The 1939 play, “The Little Foxes” by Lillian
Hellman, was based on Scripture from Song of Solomon 2:15. The foundation of
the play can be summed up this way: many times it’s the collection of all the
small missteps that get us in trouble. Some marriages with no major problems
still get into trouble because of an accumulation of little things. The Bible refers
to these issues as the little foxes that ruin the vineyard.
You see, we are usually much better at crisis
intervention than we are at regular maintenance. This is because we are a bit
lazy, often manifested as procrastination, willing and able to ignore or table
a small issue ‘til we can give it “more attention.” Work and effort are required
to handle these little foxes, and we would rather invest that energy in
enjoyable endeavors … fun activities. Or, if we are tackling trouble areas,
we’ll invest the energy in bigger issues that have been put off too long, that
demand attention now, and ignoring the little core issues that really need our
attention.
Make a commitment to pay attention to the little
foxes in your marriage: being thoughtless or preoccupied, making sarcastic
comments, forgetting anniversaries or birthdays, criticizing, taking your
spouse for granted, and not appreciating the little things they do. These little
foxes might seem unimportant, but they can eventually knock a person, a marriage,
and ultimately a whole family into the abyss of confusion, frustration, and
despair. And it all starts with little, almost imperceptible issues.
Are you letting any foxes loose in your marriage?
Are you spending time with your spouse, or has "busy-ness" taken
over? Has that luster of wanting to spend every moment with him or her worn
off? Remember when you couldn’t take your hands off each other? Remember when
you couldn’t hang up because you would miss her voice? Do you really listen to
him talk? Do you persist in that little habit that irritates your spouse? With
God's help, identify these little pebbles before they become bigger divisive
wedges.
For you single people, let me say all of the
married people vowed never to let foxes into their vineyard. All have boasted,
“That will never happen to me.” But as you see, we all fall prey to the
insidious trickery of the sly foxes Satan uses to undermine what God has
ordained and blessed. Safeguard your heart and mind now … before you get
married. Practice these skills in all your relationships, then you will be
better equipped. When the time comes you will have a better chance in your
marriage. Also, these principles apply not just to marriage, but to every
relationship we find ourselves in, especially that of a parent.
Today, go on a foxhunt to be sure pesky little patterns
or habits aren't creeping up on you. Replace the destructive little foxes with
acts of love and the willingness to put God at the center of the relationship.
Address the issue head on. Plan a surprise dinner for two. Buy a sentimental
gift. Join your spouse in one of his or her favorite activities … even if it's
not your thing. These little acts of thoughtfulness can help a marriage move
forward. Then authentic and difficult discussions can happen. Deeper relational
fulfillment can be found. Your relationships are your decision, so choose well.
Prayer
Dear God, Forgive me for how I have acted towards
one of the greatest gifts You have given me, my spouse. Marriage is so
powerful, but also tricky and complex. Help me become more aware of the
"little foxes" that I bring to the marriage … and help me replace
them with love as I focus on You. I wish I were a better husband, but with Your
love for me, I can channel that love to my wife. I pray this and all prayers in
the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before
they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!
Song of Solomon 2:15
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the
wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23
