Transformational Thought
Have you ever noticed these natural human phenomena? The more behind we are, the more quickly we tend to go. When we get lost, we start driving faster. When we don’t know what we are talking about, we begin to talk faster and louder. Lewis Carroll of Alice in Wonderland fame captured this behavior saying, “The faster I go, the behinder I get.”
During severe storms, sometimes the best action we can take is to drop anchor. An anchor wedges itself deep into the rocks and sand and protects the vessel and crew from being set dangerously adrift, being tossed back and forth due to the winds and waves … and possibly crashing into the rocks. In our personal storms and most stressful moments, we need to be anchored securely … not in transient wishes and hopes … but securely in God’s rock-solid character and promises.
Satan wants us to run quickly and blindly toward false, hollow deathtraps masquerading as truth and refuge during the frequent storms that come our way. God’s promises, character, instruction, and Word anchor us to Him and equip us to be steady in every storm. We can be victorious in any challenge that Satan brings and God allows (yes, He does allow every trial) in our life for the purpose of growing the mind of Christ in us.
Our problem is the “My kingdom come, my will be done” mentality that says we should anchor to ourselves or to the world’s system that immediately gives me what I want. We often think we have more power than we really do. We think we know all the answers. Or we see something pretty and shiny that we want, believing it is the answer. So, we chase Starbuck’s, the latest self-help fad, nutritional supplements, more money, alcohol, a drug, a pain pill, more control, that significant other who is an answer-to-my-dreams, or even education, employment, or family. The only reliable place to drop anchor in a storm is in Him.
Having the ability to believe what the Bible says about pain is one of the most important set of instructions we can learn. God will provide a peace. He won’t give us more than we can endure. He will hook up to our yoke to lighten our burden. He will grow us through these trials, and He will provide the Great Comforter.
Today, take comfort in knowing that you have a secure place to drop anchor when storms threaten your peace and stability. When you face uncertainty, a storm, or discomfort … just STOP and THINK. What does God promise or say in these kinds of situations? We may not know what the future holds for us – but we can rest in the knowledge that we are the safest when anchored to God. Look at the optional anchors and be honest with yourself about the safety they offer. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for being the God of all hope. You know the desires and secret fears of my heart … You know when I am in the midst of a terrible storm. I thank You, Father, for all Your promises and Your steadfastness during my storms. Thank You for being my refuge, my rock, my anchor. Today I cast all my hopes and dreams onto You for safekeeping because I trust You. I pray in the name of the one You sent to be my anchor, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
Hebrews 6:19
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
Psalm 33:21
Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Compassion. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Stepping Stones: This is for me?
Transformational Thought
Hopefully everyone had a happy Thanksgiving holiday, feeling grateful for all the blessings and hardships this past year. Weirdly tucked into that long weekend is the phenomenon of Black Friday. Commercialism and shopping somehow get us into the mood for the season of giving. Like many others who follow this giving tradition, we get gifts, small tokens of appreciation, for those who have provided some service to us through the year ... teachers, kid’s bus drivers, the mailman and paperman, many different vendors for Lighthouse, as well as some neighbors. The gifts are always received with such happiness and delight.
But have you ever had the experience of carrying a gift to give to someone, but running into someone else who thinks the gift was for them? Mistakenly assuming the gift was for them, they reach for it and expectantly ask, “This is for me?” and then began thanking you profusely. Their face lights up, almost in shock, and they start searching for something to give you in return, all because of a miscommunication and unwritten rules of relational etiquette.
I was struck by how a simple act of (unintended) kindness brought such happiness to one person. For a few minutes, that gift transformed the man’s day. Based on his reaction it’s fair to say this man was in desperate need of some attention and kindness. I know I have been on the receiving end as well. Just yesterday, one of our vendors delivered an unexpected gift. Such a warm and loving feeling immediately ushered in hope and promise for the day and week.
We all are beaten down by this world at times. It’s hard to notice how God wants to work through us to touch others and address their needs. Then sometimes, God is reaching out to us through the actions of others. But if our head is down in self-pity, frustration, or resignation we won’t see who God brought into our lives to speak with or perhaps to hear God speaking to us.
Today, think of one or two people whose lives you might change, even for a few minutes, by delivering some unexpected kindness. There are so many people around us who live in quiet desperation. I doubt you will have to look far … maybe one of them lives in your own home. Be a Lighthouse and shine God’s love on others. If you are struggling, look up and pay attention. God is reaching out to you, but to receive His grace and comfort you have to be looking for them. Look for the Lighthouse He puts in your life. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
O God, I thank You, Father, for leading me to others who are in need of some kindness. I confess, Lord, that I am much too focused on myself … on my issues and needs. Sometimes I let the events that don’t go my way distract me from understanding and seeing Your love in my life. I pray that You fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and guide me to those in need of love and attention. Let them see Your radiant light shining through me and onto them. Help me also appreciate Your wonderful servants who bring Your love, compassion and grace to me. I pray in the name of the one You sent to transform me though forgiveness and love, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
"’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:30-31
"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."
Matthew 5:13,14
Hopefully everyone had a happy Thanksgiving holiday, feeling grateful for all the blessings and hardships this past year. Weirdly tucked into that long weekend is the phenomenon of Black Friday. Commercialism and shopping somehow get us into the mood for the season of giving. Like many others who follow this giving tradition, we get gifts, small tokens of appreciation, for those who have provided some service to us through the year ... teachers, kid’s bus drivers, the mailman and paperman, many different vendors for Lighthouse, as well as some neighbors. The gifts are always received with such happiness and delight.
But have you ever had the experience of carrying a gift to give to someone, but running into someone else who thinks the gift was for them? Mistakenly assuming the gift was for them, they reach for it and expectantly ask, “This is for me?” and then began thanking you profusely. Their face lights up, almost in shock, and they start searching for something to give you in return, all because of a miscommunication and unwritten rules of relational etiquette.
I was struck by how a simple act of (unintended) kindness brought such happiness to one person. For a few minutes, that gift transformed the man’s day. Based on his reaction it’s fair to say this man was in desperate need of some attention and kindness. I know I have been on the receiving end as well. Just yesterday, one of our vendors delivered an unexpected gift. Such a warm and loving feeling immediately ushered in hope and promise for the day and week.
We all are beaten down by this world at times. It’s hard to notice how God wants to work through us to touch others and address their needs. Then sometimes, God is reaching out to us through the actions of others. But if our head is down in self-pity, frustration, or resignation we won’t see who God brought into our lives to speak with or perhaps to hear God speaking to us.
Today, think of one or two people whose lives you might change, even for a few minutes, by delivering some unexpected kindness. There are so many people around us who live in quiet desperation. I doubt you will have to look far … maybe one of them lives in your own home. Be a Lighthouse and shine God’s love on others. If you are struggling, look up and pay attention. God is reaching out to you, but to receive His grace and comfort you have to be looking for them. Look for the Lighthouse He puts in your life. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
O God, I thank You, Father, for leading me to others who are in need of some kindness. I confess, Lord, that I am much too focused on myself … on my issues and needs. Sometimes I let the events that don’t go my way distract me from understanding and seeing Your love in my life. I pray that You fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and guide me to those in need of love and attention. Let them see Your radiant light shining through me and onto them. Help me also appreciate Your wonderful servants who bring Your love, compassion and grace to me. I pray in the name of the one You sent to transform me though forgiveness and love, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
"’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:30-31
"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."
Matthew 5:13,14
Friday, August 19, 2011
Stepping Stones: Biblical Forgiveness vs. Forgiveness Myths
Transformational Thought
The last couple days we have talked about persecution and forgiveness, two very important and complex topics. As a psychiatrist, I see many misunderstandings or myths about what Biblical forgiveness actually is. Myths like, 1. Forgiving is forgetting; 2. Forgiving is starting with a clean slate like nothing ever happened; 3. Forgiving is trusting just as you did before the transgression; 4. Forgiving is never bringing up the incident again. These are some common misconceptions about forgiveness that I hear from peers, people in ministry, and patients.
Some principles from the Bible:
1. God never forgets. He is omniscient. Myth 1 busted.
2. God took David’s and Moses’ sins into account long after their sins, therefore no clean slate. Myth 2 busted.
3. God only trusts us as far as our skill set and reliance on Him, as evidenced by our past track record (spiritual maturity) allows. Myth 3 and 4 busted.
Let’s look at an example of a husband who has an affair. It is important to not forget the incident happened because a lot of work needs to be done to figure out why it happened and how to ensure it doesn’t happen again. You can’t act as if nothing happened because the husband obviously has some deficits and areas of temptation and needs to be safeguarded and held accountable so he and the marriage can heal and grow. So, if he comes home very late one night with a lame excuse, the wife needs to remember the past. She needs to ask the who, what, where, why, and when, with the right attitude and motivation, to make sure he didn’t stumble or isn’t on a slippery slope. She can’t jump into a pre-affair level of trust until he proves trustworthy based on present behavior. That would be unfair and unhealthy for her … and for him.
Forgiving or being forgiven doesn’t elevate someone’s trustworthiness. When she sees worrisome warning signs she needs to bring up the past transgression to facilitate regular assessment, accountability, and growth in him. She knows his area of temptation and stumbling better than most, so she has to keep it in mind to help him grow and avoid it.
Biblical Forgiveness has 2 key components. First, giving up the dysfunctional anger like bitterness, revenge, spite, rage, self-contempt, etc. you have for the transgression, or the transgressor, or toward God for letting the hurtful event happen. Second, when we have been wronged, our nature is to want, need, and demand some payment from the transgressor. We really need to turn this over to God as the great judge and executioner. He is the only one who can determine the fair and appropriate punishment for the infraction, just as He does for us and our many sins against others. The Choosing to Forgive Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, M.D. is great at expanding on these points with practical application.
Today, when you are struggling to forgive, or you have forgiven but it still hangs over you, ask, “What am I still trying to get out of them as payment?” It may be you need an apology from them, or you need them to feel your pain. Maybe you need to see their consequence, punishment, payment of restitution, or public acknowledgment to others about what they did to you. If your happiness is based on getting that and they never give it, where does that leave you? Quit giving them power over you. Forgive, and let God extract whatever payment He judges necessary for their growth. Your choice, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father, Thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it … buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord … but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me … and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave … I seek the mind of Christ. Help me to understand I am not one to judge them and exact payment. Although their transgression against me hurts, it is an even greater transgression against Your holiness. You are the perfect one to hand out justice or grace. In Your omniscience and love for them, you know best. Grow in me a humble spirit to focus on my actions, thoughts, and heart, and to accept Your actions in theirs. Help me, Lord, to spread Your message about forgiveness in word, and especially in action. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, who loved and sacrificed so much for my forgiveness; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
That very day the LORD spoke to Moses, “Go up this mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, opposite Jericho, and view the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel for a possession. And die on the mountain which you go up, and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died in Mount Hor and was gathered to his people, because you broke faith with me in the midst of the people of Israel at the waters of Meribah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, and because you did not treat me as holy in the midst of the people of Israel. For you shall see the land before you, but you shall not go there, into the land that I am giving to the people of Israel.”
Deuteronomy 32:48-52
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
The last couple days we have talked about persecution and forgiveness, two very important and complex topics. As a psychiatrist, I see many misunderstandings or myths about what Biblical forgiveness actually is. Myths like, 1. Forgiving is forgetting; 2. Forgiving is starting with a clean slate like nothing ever happened; 3. Forgiving is trusting just as you did before the transgression; 4. Forgiving is never bringing up the incident again. These are some common misconceptions about forgiveness that I hear from peers, people in ministry, and patients.
Some principles from the Bible:
1. God never forgets. He is omniscient. Myth 1 busted.
2. God took David’s and Moses’ sins into account long after their sins, therefore no clean slate. Myth 2 busted.
3. God only trusts us as far as our skill set and reliance on Him, as evidenced by our past track record (spiritual maturity) allows. Myth 3 and 4 busted.
Let’s look at an example of a husband who has an affair. It is important to not forget the incident happened because a lot of work needs to be done to figure out why it happened and how to ensure it doesn’t happen again. You can’t act as if nothing happened because the husband obviously has some deficits and areas of temptation and needs to be safeguarded and held accountable so he and the marriage can heal and grow. So, if he comes home very late one night with a lame excuse, the wife needs to remember the past. She needs to ask the who, what, where, why, and when, with the right attitude and motivation, to make sure he didn’t stumble or isn’t on a slippery slope. She can’t jump into a pre-affair level of trust until he proves trustworthy based on present behavior. That would be unfair and unhealthy for her … and for him.
Forgiving or being forgiven doesn’t elevate someone’s trustworthiness. When she sees worrisome warning signs she needs to bring up the past transgression to facilitate regular assessment, accountability, and growth in him. She knows his area of temptation and stumbling better than most, so she has to keep it in mind to help him grow and avoid it.
Biblical Forgiveness has 2 key components. First, giving up the dysfunctional anger like bitterness, revenge, spite, rage, self-contempt, etc. you have for the transgression, or the transgressor, or toward God for letting the hurtful event happen. Second, when we have been wronged, our nature is to want, need, and demand some payment from the transgressor. We really need to turn this over to God as the great judge and executioner. He is the only one who can determine the fair and appropriate punishment for the infraction, just as He does for us and our many sins against others. The Choosing to Forgive Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, M.D. is great at expanding on these points with practical application.
Today, when you are struggling to forgive, or you have forgiven but it still hangs over you, ask, “What am I still trying to get out of them as payment?” It may be you need an apology from them, or you need them to feel your pain. Maybe you need to see their consequence, punishment, payment of restitution, or public acknowledgment to others about what they did to you. If your happiness is based on getting that and they never give it, where does that leave you? Quit giving them power over you. Forgive, and let God extract whatever payment He judges necessary for their growth. Your choice, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father, Thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it … buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord … but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me … and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave … I seek the mind of Christ. Help me to understand I am not one to judge them and exact payment. Although their transgression against me hurts, it is an even greater transgression against Your holiness. You are the perfect one to hand out justice or grace. In Your omniscience and love for them, you know best. Grow in me a humble spirit to focus on my actions, thoughts, and heart, and to accept Your actions in theirs. Help me, Lord, to spread Your message about forgiveness in word, and especially in action. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, who loved and sacrificed so much for my forgiveness; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
That very day the LORD spoke to Moses, “Go up this mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, opposite Jericho, and view the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel for a possession. And die on the mountain which you go up, and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died in Mount Hor and was gathered to his people, because you broke faith with me in the midst of the people of Israel at the waters of Meribah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, and because you did not treat me as holy in the midst of the people of Israel. For you shall see the land before you, but you shall not go there, into the land that I am giving to the people of Israel.”
Deuteronomy 32:48-52
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Stepping Stones: Forgive Them Instead of Giving Them More Power
Transformational Thought
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful, least understood and most underused concept taught in the Bible. Wow, Satan is so diabolically deceitful.
Jesus gives us all a startling warning about not forgiving others: if we refuse to forgive others, God will also refuse to forgive us. Now we know God does forgive us even though there is no way we can perfectly and totally forgive all those who have transgressed us. But think about it – how long are you willing to go without the forgiveness of God? Great sinners are transformed, today and eternally, into exceptional Christians, all because of the power of forgiveness … the gift of forgiveness.
You see, when someone hurts us, our pride is wounded. We feel various pains, some inflicted on us and some from past wounds, that we blame on the other person. We have a great need to see that person experience hurt and pain to make the “score” even. But we then become dependent on seeing our attacker experience pain, and we aren’t “healed” unless they do. Unknowingly, that gives the other person ongoing control and power over us. They can always interfere with and control the timeline of their apology, experiencing consequences, or receiving justice for their offenses.
Give the gift of forgiveness to others, and especially to yourself. Free your offender and yourself. Allow God to come heal and teach you both how to grow the Mind of Christ.
Jesus modeled forgiveness perfectly for us. Think of all those whom Jesus forgave: the woman caught in adultery, Peter who denied he knew Jesus, the criminal on the cross … and those who crucified Him. Giving forgiveness brings joy and peace … withholding forgiveness brings bitterness, victimization, the need see the offender to suffer and experience revenge.
Today, don’t let your pride get in the way of forgiving others. If you are withholding forgiveness, you are missing a wonderful opportunity to experience joy … and spread it to others. Make your joy grow today and gain the must-have forgiveness of your Lord for your sins. Remember, forgiveness is a gift, not for others, but really for you, and will be very pleasing to God. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father, thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it … buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord … but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me … and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I thank You, Lord, for the many examples of forgiveness demonstrated by Your Son Jesus. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave … I seek the mind of Christ. Lord, help me spread Your message about forgiveness. I pray this through Jesus Christ who paid the ultimate price so that my sins may be forgiven; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful, least understood and most underused concept taught in the Bible. Wow, Satan is so diabolically deceitful.
Jesus gives us all a startling warning about not forgiving others: if we refuse to forgive others, God will also refuse to forgive us. Now we know God does forgive us even though there is no way we can perfectly and totally forgive all those who have transgressed us. But think about it – how long are you willing to go without the forgiveness of God? Great sinners are transformed, today and eternally, into exceptional Christians, all because of the power of forgiveness … the gift of forgiveness.
You see, when someone hurts us, our pride is wounded. We feel various pains, some inflicted on us and some from past wounds, that we blame on the other person. We have a great need to see that person experience hurt and pain to make the “score” even. But we then become dependent on seeing our attacker experience pain, and we aren’t “healed” unless they do. Unknowingly, that gives the other person ongoing control and power over us. They can always interfere with and control the timeline of their apology, experiencing consequences, or receiving justice for their offenses.
Give the gift of forgiveness to others, and especially to yourself. Free your offender and yourself. Allow God to come heal and teach you both how to grow the Mind of Christ.
Jesus modeled forgiveness perfectly for us. Think of all those whom Jesus forgave: the woman caught in adultery, Peter who denied he knew Jesus, the criminal on the cross … and those who crucified Him. Giving forgiveness brings joy and peace … withholding forgiveness brings bitterness, victimization, the need see the offender to suffer and experience revenge.
Today, don’t let your pride get in the way of forgiving others. If you are withholding forgiveness, you are missing a wonderful opportunity to experience joy … and spread it to others. Make your joy grow today and gain the must-have forgiveness of your Lord for your sins. Remember, forgiveness is a gift, not for others, but really for you, and will be very pleasing to God. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father, thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it … buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord … but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me … and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I thank You, Lord, for the many examples of forgiveness demonstrated by Your Son Jesus. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave … I seek the mind of Christ. Lord, help me spread Your message about forgiveness. I pray this through Jesus Christ who paid the ultimate price so that my sins may be forgiven; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Stepping Stones: Revenge Is Too Draining
Transformational Thought
I’ve always been a sensitive person, especially as a child. God placed me in a home where negativity and judgment were common, and frequent emotional manipulation strained my brain. I would get so angry and much of my energy … physical, emotional, and psychological … was wasted on dealing with these situations. Fighting back in various ways, trying to understand why and where all these situations were coming from, attempting to avoid them, persisting in a “why me” attitude … all these sucked so much life out of me. Enjoying my childhood was actually a difficult task.
Many of us have people in our lives who have hurt or want to hurt us. It ranges from a few hurtful words or subtle manipulation, to lies, cruelty, and vindictiveness, all the way to physical or sexual abuse. The obvious questions we ask ourselves is “Why me?” “How do I make them stop?” “Why does someone do that?”
Dealing with such people extracts huge amounts of energy in either trying to defend ourselves, recovering from the attack, or plotting and engaging in possible counter attack and retaliation … efforts to “get even.”
Much of my healing began when I realized a few facts and principles. 1. Don’t take it personally as it’s not about me, it’s their issue. 2. God is sovereign over all, and He is allowing this for a grand purpose, so put on those lenses. 3. Remember, the real enemy is Satan, not the person attacking you. They are just getting used by Satan, like you are at times. Pray for them and be on guard … put on the armor for the real battle. I don’t need to retaliate. I do need to set healthy limits and boundaries. But the bitterness and revenge factor are wasted time and effort. God will take care of them as He determines.
Today, let God deal with your enemies. We do have a stewardship role and a responsibility to address our enemies, but we often go overboard in our mind. God promises to help the persecuted and bring judgment on those who treat others with cruelty. So focus your energy on what is going on in your heart and mind regarding your enemy. If you know someone who is being mistreated, slandered or attacked by others, send them this devotional. Spread the Word of God to give hope and peace to those in need. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
Dear God, I come to You, Father, in need. I have people in my life who are hurting me, trying to do me harm. My anger rages at the injustice of this. My natural human reaction is to take revenge … to get even. I know this is wrong and against Your Word. I release my enemies into Your care. I pray as David did to “make my enemies be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them away.” Help me, Lord, to remember that it is not the opinion of others that I must focus on. Give me strength in the battle against the evil one who wants to use this persecution to pull me away from You, to distort my lenses, and sidetrack me with stinky thinking. Help me see myself through Your eyes. I pray in the name of the one who teaches me to love my enemies, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me. Take up shield and buckler; arise and come to my aid. Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to my soul, "I am your salvation.” May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot my ruin be turned back in dismay. May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away; may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.
Psalm 35:1-6
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Matthew 5:44
I’ve always been a sensitive person, especially as a child. God placed me in a home where negativity and judgment were common, and frequent emotional manipulation strained my brain. I would get so angry and much of my energy … physical, emotional, and psychological … was wasted on dealing with these situations. Fighting back in various ways, trying to understand why and where all these situations were coming from, attempting to avoid them, persisting in a “why me” attitude … all these sucked so much life out of me. Enjoying my childhood was actually a difficult task.
Many of us have people in our lives who have hurt or want to hurt us. It ranges from a few hurtful words or subtle manipulation, to lies, cruelty, and vindictiveness, all the way to physical or sexual abuse. The obvious questions we ask ourselves is “Why me?” “How do I make them stop?” “Why does someone do that?”
Dealing with such people extracts huge amounts of energy in either trying to defend ourselves, recovering from the attack, or plotting and engaging in possible counter attack and retaliation … efforts to “get even.”
Much of my healing began when I realized a few facts and principles. 1. Don’t take it personally as it’s not about me, it’s their issue. 2. God is sovereign over all, and He is allowing this for a grand purpose, so put on those lenses. 3. Remember, the real enemy is Satan, not the person attacking you. They are just getting used by Satan, like you are at times. Pray for them and be on guard … put on the armor for the real battle. I don’t need to retaliate. I do need to set healthy limits and boundaries. But the bitterness and revenge factor are wasted time and effort. God will take care of them as He determines.
Today, let God deal with your enemies. We do have a stewardship role and a responsibility to address our enemies, but we often go overboard in our mind. God promises to help the persecuted and bring judgment on those who treat others with cruelty. So focus your energy on what is going on in your heart and mind regarding your enemy. If you know someone who is being mistreated, slandered or attacked by others, send them this devotional. Spread the Word of God to give hope and peace to those in need. Your decision, choose well.
Prayer
Dear God, I come to You, Father, in need. I have people in my life who are hurting me, trying to do me harm. My anger rages at the injustice of this. My natural human reaction is to take revenge … to get even. I know this is wrong and against Your Word. I release my enemies into Your care. I pray as David did to “make my enemies be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them away.” Help me, Lord, to remember that it is not the opinion of others that I must focus on. Give me strength in the battle against the evil one who wants to use this persecution to pull me away from You, to distort my lenses, and sidetrack me with stinky thinking. Help me see myself through Your eyes. I pray in the name of the one who teaches me to love my enemies, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me. Take up shield and buckler; arise and come to my aid. Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to my soul, "I am your salvation.” May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot my ruin be turned back in dismay. May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away; may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.
Psalm 35:1-6
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Matthew 5:44
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Stepping Stones: What Do You Anchor to in a Storm?
Transformational Thought
Have you ever noticed this natural human phenomenon? The more behind we are, the faster we tend to go. When we get lost, we start driving faster. When we don’t know what we are talking about, we begin to talk faster and louder. My mother taught little sayings to register her lessons in her children’s minds. One of her favorite sayings, “The faster I go…the behinder I get.”
During severe storms, sometimes the best action we can take is to drop anchor. An anchor wedges itself deep into the rocks and sand and protects the vessel and crew from being set dangerously adrift…and possibly crashing into the rocks. In our personal storms and most stressful moments, we need to be anchored securely…not in wishes and hopes…but securely in God’s promises.
Satan wants us to run quickly and blindly toward false, hollow deathtraps masquerading as truth and refuge from the frequent storms that come our way. God’s promises, character, instruction, and Word anchor us to Him and equip us to be steady in every storm. We can be victorious in any challenge Satan brings and God allows (yes, He does allow every trial) in life to grow the mind of Christ in us.
Our problem is the ‘My kingdom come, my will be done’ mentality that says we should anchor to ourselves or to the world’s system that immediately gives me what I want. We often think we have more power than we really do. We think we know all the answers. Or we see something pretty and shiny that we want, believing it is the answer. So, we chase Starbuck’s, the latest self-help fad, nutritional supplements, more money or even education. The only place to drop anchor in a storm is in Him.
Today, take comfort in knowing that you have a secure place to drop anchor when storms threaten. When you are faced with uncertainty, a storm, or discomfort…just STOP and THINK. What does God promise or say in these kinds of situations? We may not know what the future holds for us – but we can rest in the knowledge that we are the safest when anchored to God.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for being the God of all hope. You know the desires and secret fears of my heart…You know I am in the midst of a terrible storm. I thank You, Father, for all Your promises and Your steadfastness during my storms. Thank You for being my refuge, my rock, my anchor. Today I cast all my hopes and dreams onto You for safekeeping because I trust You. I pray in the name of the one You sent to be my anchor, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children said - AMEN!
The Truth
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
Hebrews 6:19
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
Psalm 33:21
Have you ever noticed this natural human phenomenon? The more behind we are, the faster we tend to go. When we get lost, we start driving faster. When we don’t know what we are talking about, we begin to talk faster and louder. My mother taught little sayings to register her lessons in her children’s minds. One of her favorite sayings, “The faster I go…the behinder I get.”
During severe storms, sometimes the best action we can take is to drop anchor. An anchor wedges itself deep into the rocks and sand and protects the vessel and crew from being set dangerously adrift…and possibly crashing into the rocks. In our personal storms and most stressful moments, we need to be anchored securely…not in wishes and hopes…but securely in God’s promises.
Satan wants us to run quickly and blindly toward false, hollow deathtraps masquerading as truth and refuge from the frequent storms that come our way. God’s promises, character, instruction, and Word anchor us to Him and equip us to be steady in every storm. We can be victorious in any challenge Satan brings and God allows (yes, He does allow every trial) in life to grow the mind of Christ in us.
Our problem is the ‘My kingdom come, my will be done’ mentality that says we should anchor to ourselves or to the world’s system that immediately gives me what I want. We often think we have more power than we really do. We think we know all the answers. Or we see something pretty and shiny that we want, believing it is the answer. So, we chase Starbuck’s, the latest self-help fad, nutritional supplements, more money or even education. The only place to drop anchor in a storm is in Him.
Today, take comfort in knowing that you have a secure place to drop anchor when storms threaten. When you are faced with uncertainty, a storm, or discomfort…just STOP and THINK. What does God promise or say in these kinds of situations? We may not know what the future holds for us – but we can rest in the knowledge that we are the safest when anchored to God.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for being the God of all hope. You know the desires and secret fears of my heart…You know I am in the midst of a terrible storm. I thank You, Father, for all Your promises and Your steadfastness during my storms. Thank You for being my refuge, my rock, my anchor. Today I cast all my hopes and dreams onto You for safekeeping because I trust You. I pray in the name of the one You sent to be my anchor, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children said - AMEN!
The Truth
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
Hebrews 6:19
In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.
Psalm 33:21
Monday, December 27, 2010
Stepping Stones: This is for me?
Transformational Thought
Each year on Christmas Eve Day, I have a tradition of delivering a small gift to the people who provide a service to me throughout the year. The postman, butcher, coffee-shop owner, etc. I’ve been doing it for years. The gifts are always received with such happiness and delight.
This year, as I was walking toward the coffee shop to deliver a bottle of wine, I stopped into a local oriental rug store to pick up a rug I had ordered the week before. The owner of the store greeted me when I walked in. He’s been in that same location for 25 years now. He’s a wheeler-dealer, an all-business kind of guy…he rarely smiles. He and I had a fairly intense negotiation session over the rug I purchased the previous week.
As I reached to shake his hand he noticed the gift-wrapped bottle of wine I was carrying (the coffee-shop owner’s gift, remember). Mistakenly assuming the gift was for him, he reached for it with his other hand and said, “This is for me?,” and then began thanking me profusely. His face lit up, almost in shock, and he started searching for something to give me in return. He also sells imported tea in his shop…so he grabbed a box containing a selection of exotic teas and gave it to me with pride and joy.
I was struck by how a simple act of (unintended) kindness brought such happiness to this man. For a few minutes that gift transformed this man’s life. We talked a bit more and then I left with my rug; the smile remained on his face the entire time. Based on his reaction it’s fair to say this man was in desperate need of some attention and kindness.
We all are beaten down by this world at times. It’s hard to notice how God wants to work through us to touch others and address their needs. Sometimes God is reaching out to us. But if our head is down in self-pity, frustration, or resignation we won’t see who God brought into our life and is speaking through.
Today, think of one or two people whose lives you might change even for a few minutes by delivering some unexpected kindness. There are so many people around us who live in quiet desperation. I doubt you will have to look far…maybe one of those people lives in your own h ome. Be a Lighthouse and shine God’s love on others. If you are struggling, look up and pay attention. God is reaching out to you, but to receive His grace and comfort you have to be looking for them. Look for the Lighthouse He puts in your life.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for leading me to this man who was in need of some kindness. I confess Lord that I am much too focused on myself…on my issues and needs. I pray that You fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and guide me to those in need of love and attention. Let them need see Your radiant light shining through me and onto them. I pray in the name of the one You sent to transform me though forgiveness and love, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children said - AMEN!
The Truth
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:30-31
"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."
Matthew 5:13,14
Each year on Christmas Eve Day, I have a tradition of delivering a small gift to the people who provide a service to me throughout the year. The postman, butcher, coffee-shop owner, etc. I’ve been doing it for years. The gifts are always received with such happiness and delight.
This year, as I was walking toward the coffee shop to deliver a bottle of wine, I stopped into a local oriental rug store to pick up a rug I had ordered the week before. The owner of the store greeted me when I walked in. He’s been in that same location for 25 years now. He’s a wheeler-dealer, an all-business kind of guy…he rarely smiles. He and I had a fairly intense negotiation session over the rug I purchased the previous week.
As I reached to shake his hand he noticed the gift-wrapped bottle of wine I was carrying (the coffee-shop owner’s gift, remember). Mistakenly assuming the gift was for him, he reached for it with his other hand and said, “This is for me?,” and then began thanking me profusely. His face lit up, almost in shock, and he started searching for something to give me in return. He also sells imported tea in his shop…so he grabbed a box containing a selection of exotic teas and gave it to me with pride and joy.
I was struck by how a simple act of (unintended) kindness brought such happiness to this man. For a few minutes that gift transformed this man’s life. We talked a bit more and then I left with my rug; the smile remained on his face the entire time. Based on his reaction it’s fair to say this man was in desperate need of some attention and kindness.
We all are beaten down by this world at times. It’s hard to notice how God wants to work through us to touch others and address their needs. Sometimes God is reaching out to us. But if our head is down in self-pity, frustration, or resignation we won’t see who God brought into our life and is speaking through.
Today, think of one or two people whose lives you might change even for a few minutes by delivering some unexpected kindness. There are so many people around us who live in quiet desperation. I doubt you will have to look far…maybe one of those people lives in your own h ome. Be a Lighthouse and shine God’s love on others. If you are struggling, look up and pay attention. God is reaching out to you, but to receive His grace and comfort you have to be looking for them. Look for the Lighthouse He puts in your life.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for leading me to this man who was in need of some kindness. I confess Lord that I am much too focused on myself…on my issues and needs. I pray that You fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and guide me to those in need of love and attention. Let them need see Your radiant light shining through me and onto them. I pray in the name of the one You sent to transform me though forgiveness and love, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children said - AMEN!
The Truth
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:30-31
"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."
Matthew 5:13,14
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Stepping Stones: Called Alongside to Help
Transformational Thought
While the Christmas holidays are a time of joy and excitement for some, it’s also the most painful and lonely time of year for others. Missing a loved one, stressing about the lack of enough money for gifts, not getting the gifts we expect, being estranged from someone we love…so many factors have the potential to bring us down. These struggles are amplified just after Christmas, when Christmas expectations go unmet and the foreboding empty days of winter lie ahead. Many people really suffer.
This time of year is when encouraging others can an impact more powerful than you could ever imagine. The Greek translation of the word encouragement is “parakletos”, which means “called alongside to help.” Encouragement can be offering an uplifting word, but it can also be so much more than that, such as an opportunity to come alongside and help.
Showing someone they have value and dignity, and offering respect as you take action…doing something for them…this has an amazing influence on others’ thoughts and feelings. Show them they matter to you and to God by putting aside your needs in favor of theirs. The idea of being created in God’s image and having value, so much so that God sacrificed His Son for them, needs to be brought tangibly to them. You are the vehicle God will use to get them this life-saving, actually, life-transforming message.
Today, think of someone who needs you “alongside” them to help. Your spouse, parent, child, neighbor, work colleague, or friend. When you stand alongside and offer help, you become a powerful vessel through which God supplies courage, hope and happiness. You have the Holy Spirit in you and will directly bring Him to them. What better gift do you have to give than this? God will even bring people to you. So be alert and step up to the plate.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for sending Jesus to encourage me. I thank You for Your Holy Word that offers encouragement each time I open the Bible. I thank You for making it possible for me to encourage others. I pray, Lord, that You help me become an expert in this area. I pray in the name of the one You sent to encourage me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children said - AMEN!
The Truth
But encourage one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
Hebrews 3:13
The report of this came to the ears of the church in Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. When he came and saw the grace of God, he was glad, and he exhorted them all to remain faithful to the Lord with steadfast purpose, for he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord.
Acts 11:22-24
While the Christmas holidays are a time of joy and excitement for some, it’s also the most painful and lonely time of year for others. Missing a loved one, stressing about the lack of enough money for gifts, not getting the gifts we expect, being estranged from someone we love…so many factors have the potential to bring us down. These struggles are amplified just after Christmas, when Christmas expectations go unmet and the foreboding empty days of winter lie ahead. Many people really suffer.
This time of year is when encouraging others can an impact more powerful than you could ever imagine. The Greek translation of the word encouragement is “parakletos”, which means “called alongside to help.” Encouragement can be offering an uplifting word, but it can also be so much more than that, such as an opportunity to come alongside and help.
Showing someone they have value and dignity, and offering respect as you take action…doing something for them…this has an amazing influence on others’ thoughts and feelings. Show them they matter to you and to God by putting aside your needs in favor of theirs. The idea of being created in God’s image and having value, so much so that God sacrificed His Son for them, needs to be brought tangibly to them. You are the vehicle God will use to get them this life-saving, actually, life-transforming message.
Today, think of someone who needs you “alongside” them to help. Your spouse, parent, child, neighbor, work colleague, or friend. When you stand alongside and offer help, you become a powerful vessel through which God supplies courage, hope and happiness. You have the Holy Spirit in you and will directly bring Him to them. What better gift do you have to give than this? God will even bring people to you. So be alert and step up to the plate.
Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You, Father, for sending Jesus to encourage me. I thank You for Your Holy Word that offers encouragement each time I open the Bible. I thank You for making it possible for me to encourage others. I pray, Lord, that You help me become an expert in this area. I pray in the name of the one You sent to encourage me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children said - AMEN!
The Truth
But encourage one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
Hebrews 3:13
The report of this came to the ears of the church in Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. When he came and saw the grace of God, he was glad, and he exhorted them all to remain faithful to the Lord with steadfast purpose, for he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And a great many people were added to the Lord.
Acts 11:22-24
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Stepping Stones: Biblical Forgiveness vs. Forgiveness Myths
Transformational Tip
The last couple days we have talked about persecution and forgiveness, two very important and complex topics. As a psychiatrist, I see many misunderstandings or myths about what real Biblical forgiveness actually is. Like, 1. Forgive is forgetting, 2. forgive is starting with a clean slate like nothing ever happened, 3. forgive is trusting just like you did before the transgression, 4. forgive is not ever bringing the incident up again. These are some common misconceptions of forgiveness I hear from peers and patients.
Some conclusions from the Bible:
1. God never forgets, He is omniscient.
2. God took David’s and Moses’ sin into account long after their sins, therefore no clean slate.
3. God only trusts us as far as our skill set and reliance on Him (spiritual maturity) as evidenced by our past track record.
Let’s look at an example of a husband who has an affair. It is important to not forget the incident happened because a lot of work needs to be done to figure out why it happened and how to ensure it doesn’t happen again. You can’t act as if nothing happened as the husband obviously has some deficits and areas of temptation and needs to be safeguarded and held accountable for him and the marriage to heal and grow. So if he comes home very late one night with a lame excuse, the wife needs to remember the past and ask the who, what, where, why, and when, to make sure he didn’t stumble or isn’t on a slippery slope. She can’t jump into a pre-affair level of trust until he proves trustworthy based on present behavior. Anything more would be unfair and unhealthy for her and for him.
Forgiving or being forgiven doesn’t elevate someone’s trustability. She needs to bring it up the event when necessary to facilitate regular assessment, accountability, and growth, or if she sees some worrisome warning signs. She knows his area of temptation and stumbling so she has to keep it in mind to help him grow and avoid it.
Biblical Forgiveness has 2 key components. First, giving up the dysfunctional anger like bitterness, revenge, spite, rage, self-contempt, etc. you have for the transgression, the transgressor, or toward God for letting the hurtful event happen. Second, when we have been wronged, our nature is to want, need, and demand some payment from the transgressor. We really need to turn this over to God as the great judge and executioner; He is the only one who can determine what is the fair and appropriate sentence or punishment for the infraction. Just like He is for us and our many sins against others. For more, The Choosing to Forgive Workbook, by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, MD is great at expanding on these points with practical application.
Today, in those situations where you are struggling to forgive, or you have forgiven but it still hangs over you, think “what am I still trying to get out of them as payment?” It may be you need an apology from them, or you need them to feel your pain. Maybe they need to have a consequence or punishment, have to pay some kind of material restitution, or make a public acknowledgment to others about what they did to you. If your happiness is based on getting that and they never give it, where does that leave you? Quit continuing to give them the power over you. Forgive, and let God extract whatever payment He judges necessary for their growth. Your choice, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father, Thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it…buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord…but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me…and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I thank You, Lord, for the many examples of forgiveness demonstrated by Your Son Jesus. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave…I seek the mind of Christ. Help me to understand I am not one to judge them and exact payment, but their transgression against me, although it hurts me, is even a greater transgression against Your holiness and You are the perfect one to hand out justice or grace, as You in Your omniscience and love for them, knows is best. Grow in me a humble spirit to accept Your actions in their life and focus on my actions, thoughts, and heart, and not theirs. Help me, Lord, spread Your message about forgiveness in word, but especially in action. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, who loved and sacrificed so much for my forgiveness; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
That very day the LORD spoke to Moses, Go up this mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, opposite Jericho, and view the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel for a possession. And die on the mountain which you go up, and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died in Mount Hor and was gathered to his people, because you broke faith with me in the midst of the people of Israel at the waters of Meribah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, and because you did not treat me as holy in the midst of the people of Israel. For you shall see the land before you, but you shall not go there, into the land that I am giving to the people of Israel."
Deuteronomy 32:48-52
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
The last couple days we have talked about persecution and forgiveness, two very important and complex topics. As a psychiatrist, I see many misunderstandings or myths about what real Biblical forgiveness actually is. Like, 1. Forgive is forgetting, 2. forgive is starting with a clean slate like nothing ever happened, 3. forgive is trusting just like you did before the transgression, 4. forgive is not ever bringing the incident up again. These are some common misconceptions of forgiveness I hear from peers and patients.
Some conclusions from the Bible:
1. God never forgets, He is omniscient.
2. God took David’s and Moses’ sin into account long after their sins, therefore no clean slate.
3. God only trusts us as far as our skill set and reliance on Him (spiritual maturity) as evidenced by our past track record.
Let’s look at an example of a husband who has an affair. It is important to not forget the incident happened because a lot of work needs to be done to figure out why it happened and how to ensure it doesn’t happen again. You can’t act as if nothing happened as the husband obviously has some deficits and areas of temptation and needs to be safeguarded and held accountable for him and the marriage to heal and grow. So if he comes home very late one night with a lame excuse, the wife needs to remember the past and ask the who, what, where, why, and when, to make sure he didn’t stumble or isn’t on a slippery slope. She can’t jump into a pre-affair level of trust until he proves trustworthy based on present behavior. Anything more would be unfair and unhealthy for her and for him.
Forgiving or being forgiven doesn’t elevate someone’s trustability. She needs to bring it up the event when necessary to facilitate regular assessment, accountability, and growth, or if she sees some worrisome warning signs. She knows his area of temptation and stumbling so she has to keep it in mind to help him grow and avoid it.
Biblical Forgiveness has 2 key components. First, giving up the dysfunctional anger like bitterness, revenge, spite, rage, self-contempt, etc. you have for the transgression, the transgressor, or toward God for letting the hurtful event happen. Second, when we have been wronged, our nature is to want, need, and demand some payment from the transgressor. We really need to turn this over to God as the great judge and executioner; He is the only one who can determine what is the fair and appropriate sentence or punishment for the infraction. Just like He is for us and our many sins against others. For more, The Choosing to Forgive Workbook, by Les Carter and Frank Minirth, MD is great at expanding on these points with practical application.
Today, in those situations where you are struggling to forgive, or you have forgiven but it still hangs over you, think “what am I still trying to get out of them as payment?” It may be you need an apology from them, or you need them to feel your pain. Maybe they need to have a consequence or punishment, have to pay some kind of material restitution, or make a public acknowledgment to others about what they did to you. If your happiness is based on getting that and they never give it, where does that leave you? Quit continuing to give them the power over you. Forgive, and let God extract whatever payment He judges necessary for their growth. Your choice, choose well.
Prayer
Dear Father, Thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it…buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord…but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me…and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I thank You, Lord, for the many examples of forgiveness demonstrated by Your Son Jesus. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave…I seek the mind of Christ. Help me to understand I am not one to judge them and exact payment, but their transgression against me, although it hurts me, is even a greater transgression against Your holiness and You are the perfect one to hand out justice or grace, as You in Your omniscience and love for them, knows is best. Grow in me a humble spirit to accept Your actions in their life and focus on my actions, thoughts, and heart, and not theirs. Help me, Lord, spread Your message about forgiveness in word, but especially in action. I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, who loved and sacrificed so much for my forgiveness; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
That very day the LORD spoke to Moses, Go up this mountain of the Abarim, Mount Nebo, which is in the land of Moab, opposite Jericho, and view the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the people of Israel for a possession. And die on the mountain which you go up, and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died in Mount Hor and was gathered to his people, because you broke faith with me in the midst of the people of Israel at the waters of Meribah-kadesh, in the wilderness of Zin, and because you did not treat me as holy in the midst of the people of Israel. For you shall see the land before you, but you shall not go there, into the land that I am giving to the people of Israel."
Deuteronomy 32:48-52
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Stepping Stones: Forgive, Don’t Give Them More Power
Transformational Thought
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful, least understood, and most commonly underused concepts included in the Bible.
Jesus gives us all a startling warning about not forgiving others; if we refuse to forgive others, God will also refuse to forgive us. Now we know God does forgive us even though there is no way we can perfectly and totally forgive all those who have transgressed us. But think about it – how long are you willing to go without the forgiveness of God. Great sinners are transformed into exceptional Christians all because of the power of forgiveness…the gift of forgiveness.
You see, when someone hurts us, our pride is wounded and we have a great need to see that person experience hurt and pain in some way to make the “score” even. But, we then become dependent on seeing our attacker experience pain, that we aren’t “healed” unless they do experience pain. Unknowingly, that gives the other person ongoing control over us as they can always interfere with us seeing them apologize or experience consequences or justice for their offenses.
Give this gift of forgiveness to yourself and to others. Free yourself and your offender. Allow God to come heal and teach you both how to grow the Mind of Christ.
Jesus perfectly modeled forgiveness for us. Think of all those who Jesus forgave; the woman caught in adultery, Peter for denying he knew Jesus, the criminal on the cross…and those who crucified Him. The giving of forgiveness brings joy and peace…the withholding of forgiveness brings bitterness, victimization, or need for revenge.
Today, don’t let your pride get in the way of you forgiving others. If you are withholding forgiveness, you are missing a wonderful opportunity to experience joy…and spreading it to others. Make your joy grow today and gain the must-have forgiveness of your Lord for your sins.
Prayer
Dear Father, Thanks be to You, Lord, for Your incredible gift of forgiveness. Where would I be without it…buried under a ton of sin and shame. I am so quick to ask for Your Forgiveness, Lord…but so slow to forgive others. Help me remember that forgiving others lifts a heavy burden off me…and places me back under the grace of Your forgiveness. I thank You, Lord, for the many examples of forgiveness demonstrated by Your Son Jesus. I seek to forgive as Jesus forgave…I seek the mind of Christ. Help me, Lord, spread Your message about forgiveness. I pray this through Jesus Christ who paid the ultimate price so that my sins may be forgiven; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Stepping Stones: Revenge Is Too Draining
Transformational Thought
I grew up in a home where negativity and judgment were common, and frequent efforts of emotional manipulation strained my brain. I would get so angry and so much of my energy…physically, emotionally, psychologically…was wasted on dealing with these situations. Fighting back in various ways, trying to understand why and where all these situations were coming from, my attempts to avoid them, a “why me” attitude, all these sucked so much life out of me. Enjoying my childhood was a difficult task for me.
Many of us have people in our lives who have hurt or want to hurt us. It ranges from a few hurtful words, subtle manipulation, to lies, cruelty, vindictiveness, and all the way to physical or sexual abuse. The obvious questions we ask ourselves…”why me?” “how do I make them stop?” “why does someone do that?”
Dealing with such people extracts huge amounts of energy in either trying to defend ourselves or plotting and engaging in possible counter attack and retaliation or “getting even” efforts. Remember, Satan is the real enemy, not the person. They are just getting used, like you are at times, by Satan. Pray for them and be on guard… put on the armor for the real battle.
Today, let God deal with your enemies. We do have a stewardship role and responsibility to address our enemies, but we often go overboard in our mind. God promises to help the persecuted and bring judgment on those who treat others with cruelty. So focus your energy on what is going on in your heart and mind regarding your enemy. If you know someone who is being mistreated, slandered or being attacked by others, send them this devotional. Spread the Word of God to give hope and peace to those in need.
Prayer
Dear Father, I come to You, Father, in need. I have people in my life who are hurting me, trying to do me harm. My anger rages at the injustice of this. My human, natural reaction is for revenge…for getting even. I know this is wrong and against Your Word. I release my enemies into Your care. I pray as David did to “make my enemies be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them away.” Help me, Lord, to remember that it is not the opinion of others that I must focus on. Give me strength in the battle against the evil one who wants to use this persecution to pull me away from you, to distort my lenses, and sidetrack me with stinky thinking. Help me see myself through Your eyes. I pray in the name of the one who teaches me to love my enemies, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!
The Truth
Contend, O LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me. Take up shield and buckler; arise and come to my aid. Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to my soul, "I am your salvation." May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot my ruin be turned back in dismay. May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away; may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.
Psalm 35:1-6
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
Matthew 5:44
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Stepping Stones: "I'm fine, you?"
Transformational Tip
"How are you?" "Great, how are you?" "Yea, I'm good, too." Every Sunday morning, interchanges like this are spoken a zillion (indescribably large number) times. Unfortunately, a lot of times, things aren't "great, good, or fine." I've spoken to many people who told me they were afraid to talk to anyone at church for several years as a problem escalated until the details couldn't be hidden anymore. Unfortunately, problems only get worse when unattended. It's amazing to me how often we hide the truth from each other, especially since the people we're hiding from might be able to pray, listen, guide, or connect us to services or care to help our situation. So many times, someone has opened up to me in church, not knowing I am a psychiatrist, and I was able to care for or connect them to care for their troubled situation. Other times someone else in the church that they opened up to, referred them to me. Embarrassment, shame, pride, fear...that's what Satan uses to keep the body from uniting and working together. Don't let this happen to you. We weren't made to handle and accomplish everything on our own...we were made to work on teams...marriage, family, employers, church, community, extended family, etc.
Today, think about how you will respond tomorrow (and every Sunday/day in church). If you are the one asking "how are you?" then really be an attentive listener to allow the person a place to be open. If you are the recipient of the question, maybe something like, "well, the week has been a little tough, can I vent a little to you, or can you direct me to someone who can listen and help?"
If you are in a church that will not be compassionate toward your issue and will judge and avoid you, get out of that church to one that will care for you. If what you are doing is wrong, don't look for the church to condone it, but they should be able to love, care for, and support you to help you make better choices. Click here to share your experiences and perspective with other readers on this issue of transparency at Church.
Prayer
Dear Father, thank you so much for your unconditional love and forgiveness for all my problems and actions. Please help me speak up and share my burden with others and open my ears to the guidance and wisdom you provide through your humble and wise servants. Help me discern good counsel and follow it. I want connection and help, but I choke at the opportunity to speak up. Encourage me thru Your Spirit to not be ashamed or afraid to expose and ask for help. I pray in Christ's all revealing name and work, and all God's people said, AMEN!
The Truth
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function,
so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Romans 12:3-5
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Proverbs 27:9
"How are you?" "Great, how are you?" "Yea, I'm good, too." Every Sunday morning, interchanges like this are spoken a zillion (indescribably large number) times. Unfortunately, a lot of times, things aren't "great, good, or fine." I've spoken to many people who told me they were afraid to talk to anyone at church for several years as a problem escalated until the details couldn't be hidden anymore. Unfortunately, problems only get worse when unattended. It's amazing to me how often we hide the truth from each other, especially since the people we're hiding from might be able to pray, listen, guide, or connect us to services or care to help our situation. So many times, someone has opened up to me in church, not knowing I am a psychiatrist, and I was able to care for or connect them to care for their troubled situation. Other times someone else in the church that they opened up to, referred them to me. Embarrassment, shame, pride, fear...that's what Satan uses to keep the body from uniting and working together. Don't let this happen to you. We weren't made to handle and accomplish everything on our own...we were made to work on teams...marriage, family, employers, church, community, extended family, etc.
Today, think about how you will respond tomorrow (and every Sunday/day in church). If you are the one asking "how are you?" then really be an attentive listener to allow the person a place to be open. If you are the recipient of the question, maybe something like, "well, the week has been a little tough, can I vent a little to you, or can you direct me to someone who can listen and help?"
If you are in a church that will not be compassionate toward your issue and will judge and avoid you, get out of that church to one that will care for you. If what you are doing is wrong, don't look for the church to condone it, but they should be able to love, care for, and support you to help you make better choices. Click here to share your experiences and perspective with other readers on this issue of transparency at Church.
Prayer
Dear Father, thank you so much for your unconditional love and forgiveness for all my problems and actions. Please help me speak up and share my burden with others and open my ears to the guidance and wisdom you provide through your humble and wise servants. Help me discern good counsel and follow it. I want connection and help, but I choke at the opportunity to speak up. Encourage me thru Your Spirit to not be ashamed or afraid to expose and ask for help. I pray in Christ's all revealing name and work, and all God's people said, AMEN!
The Truth
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function,
so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Romans 12:3-5
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
Proverbs 27:9
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Stepping Stones: Compassion is Action
Transformational Tip
Compassion requires action. We all need compassion. It is something we should give and receive. Sometimes tears shed for self originate in self centered weakness. Tears shed for others are tears of strength. Abraham Lincoln once said "I am sorry for the man who can't feel the whip when it is laid on another mans back." In our natural state, we are self-centered, but through Christ and from the Holy Spirit, we can be compassionate. The more we get to know God and relate with Him, the more we love the things (people especially) that God loves.
Prayer
Father God, give me the insight to see hearts that are hurting. I know that sometimes people seem to look so perfect and put together on the outside; that is why I ask now for Your discernment. I ask that you speak thru me giving me the words to say. Words of compassion; whether it be a friend, an acquaintance, or even strangers. Let me be thankful for all who give compassion. I ask that You pour Your blessings upon them. I ask in Jesus Name. Amen.
The Truth
Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous
1 Peter 3:9-10
He has called His wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate.
Psalm 111:4
Compassion requires action. We all need compassion. It is something we should give and receive. Sometimes tears shed for self originate in self centered weakness. Tears shed for others are tears of strength. Abraham Lincoln once said "I am sorry for the man who can't feel the whip when it is laid on another mans back." In our natural state, we are self-centered, but through Christ and from the Holy Spirit, we can be compassionate. The more we get to know God and relate with Him, the more we love the things (people especially) that God loves.
Prayer
Father God, give me the insight to see hearts that are hurting. I know that sometimes people seem to look so perfect and put together on the outside; that is why I ask now for Your discernment. I ask that you speak thru me giving me the words to say. Words of compassion; whether it be a friend, an acquaintance, or even strangers. Let me be thankful for all who give compassion. I ask that You pour Your blessings upon them. I ask in Jesus Name. Amen.
The Truth
Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous
1 Peter 3:9-10
He has called His wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate.
Psalm 111:4
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