Stepping Stones: How Should We “Judge” One Another?

April 30, 2012

How Should We “Judge” One Another?

Transformational Thought

In the last Stepping Stones, we opened up the topic of judging others. We saw how we are simultaneously called to judge and not to judge. We tried to differentiate between these two seemingly contradictory callings. The main element that clarifies the confusion involves looking at the heart of both the judge and the judged. You see, we are to judge others’ behaviors, but it’s impossible to judge their hearts.

So what right do we have to condemn others since we are not perfect? Jesus made this clear to the crowd condemning the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-9). They were clamoring to stone her, but Jesus said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." One by one, the accusers disappeared.

Condemnation is such a final judgment, and we don’t have the right, authority, or power to condemn anyone. Only God has the perfect slate and is the author who declares, and, more importantly, carries out the final judgment of “Condemned!”

But according to the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children …  to pick elders and church leaders with certain character … to vote for Godly leaders … to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two brothers. So again, the permission we have to judge is contingent upon the motivating engines in our hearts. We need to ask what drives our actions when we engage in the tricky and dangerous role of judging another person.

God does not call us to condemn, shame, mock, belittle, or somehow, lower others. Neither are we to exalt ourselves. But isn’t this the definition of what our flesh is all about? Satan certainly does all he can to accentuate this mentality. The temptation is to fall into lazy, me-centered behavior when God grants us the responsibility to judge the behavior of others.

Instead, our motivation needs to be one of compassion, love, service, and encouragement. We are to help others avoid reaping the perilous fruit of the flesh that continuous wrong behavior produces. We are to be the instrument of God, directing others to Him and His Word for direction, healing, and transformation so they can overcome sinful behavior. We need to embrace this motivational mindset and role, and guard against Satan’s me-centered head games.

Another component to consider is how we approach the person. Since we don’t know his motivation, we need to ask questions and help him recognize the misconduct. We can lovingly help him identify the motivations, fears, and issues, and the me-centered process that led to the wrong behavior. We also want him to know God’s forgiveness, and God’s desire to receive him back into a transforming relationship.

Today, jot down on a piece of paper the names of people whose behaviors God allows you to monitor and judge. Examine your heart and motivation in this assignment. If God has put you in a special position to speak into another person’s life, do it with love and with the motivations described above. You can be a great catalyst in their spiritual walks … or a major stumbling block … depending on your heart as you handle this assignment from God and for God. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

O God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge … and even worse, to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me to really see how I can be Your partner in ministry. Help me to recognize the people in my life whom you call me to “judge”. Teach me the seriousness of this responsibility and guard my heart from my flesh and Satan. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One slow to judge, always a servant, and quick to forgive, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.

John 8:3-9

Kw: , Character, Peace, Self-Evaluation, Judgment, Forgiveness, Relationships

Stepping Stones: To Judge Or Not To Judge

April 28-29, 2012

To Judge Or Not To Judge

Transformational Thought

Like it or not, we are judging something all the time. Someone’s clothes … hair … car … house … cleanliness … weight … attitude. Some say it is wrong to judge, and we are not to judge … that judging is up to God. He is the only one who has the right and authority to judge. So they will often quote, “judge not lest ye be judged.”

But in the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children … to pick elders and church leaders with certain character … to vote for Godly leaders … to judge false Bible teachers … to confront gossiping, addiction, or adulterous behavior … even to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two Christian brothers.

How can we carry out these duties without judging the individuals? What a dilemma … to judge or not to judge. How do we know when to judge and when to sit tight? Sorting out these contradictory instructions and scenarios is complex, and I don’t want to oversimplify, but most can be boiled down to this: 1. What’s at the center of your heart motivating your behavior, and 2. What lenses are you using to assess the situation.

Only God can see into hearts and truly judge the full scope of an event. We can judge conduct, but only hypothesize about the motivation leading to the person’s conduct. God knows everything and judges accurately, impartially, and according to absolute truth. We are too limited to make the same quality judgments. We are called to judge conduct (our next Stepping Stones will look at that element a little more), but not to judge someone’s heart. We do need to make sure our motives for judging conduct are focused on God and our focus is to serve the person we are judging and their “targets”.

Today, try to determine whether you are judging a person’s heart or their conduct. If you are judging heart, that is a dangerous area that needs to be approached with extreme caution. If you are called to judge a person’s conduct, examine your heart and motives. Are you using me-centered agendas and lenses? Be honest with yourself. When you judge the right things for the right reasons, in the right way, a big burden will be lifted. You will be so much freer is your relationships. Once you have the judgment, then glorify God in how you present that assessment to the individual you are called to judge and serve. You are called to judge, but judging well is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge … and to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me understand my own issues better, and resolve my needs so I don’t feel compelled to judge and ridicule others to lessen my fears, anxieties, or insecurities and inadequacies. I desire a heart that beats with Yours and wants to love and serve those You put into my life. Help me have a discerning lens to understand their struggles and lovingly and clearly show and teach them Your word. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One quickest to forgive, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;”

Luke 6:37

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

James 4:12

Stepping Stones: People Pleaser or God Pleaser?

April 27, 2012

People Pleaser or God Pleaser?

Transformational Thought

Who doesn’t want to see their kids happy, especially if we are the one bringing them delight? I love to please my daughters. But I also want to see them safe and healthy. So when they make unhealthy or dysfunctional requests, it is easy for me to say “NO!” … even though they aren’t pleased, and in fact, they might actually be upset, or cry because of my answer.

Need a couple of examples? What about when they ask … for their third bowl of ice cream … for the keys to the car and they’re only 13 … to stay out to midnight on a school night when they’re 14 … to camp out with a boyfriend, alone, when they are 16. All these will easily get a “no” answer from me regardless of how displeased my beloved daughters might be with my answer.

When fellow adults make dysfunctional requests, for some reason, for most of us, it is much harder to say “no”. Why is it hard to say ‘No’ to an adult? Sometimes it’s because I think they know more than I do about the particular situation … or they know what’s best for themselves more than I do … or I fear and hate being uneasy when people are mad or upset at me … or I fear their rejection … or I need their approval … or I need to  be needed or accepted. Too many “I need…” or “I fear…” lenses, based on a me-centered mentality, significantly interfere with our perspective, and lead to disrespectful, dysfunctional, or even sinful relational conduct.

When we focus on trying to please people by acting dysfunctionally, then our behavior is not serving or pleasing God. If we are truly His servants, then our primary goal will be to please Him first, not others.

When Jesus lived on earth, many who believed in Him would not admit their faith. Because these people were more concerned about personal safety and other people’s opinions rather than God’s opinion, they did not live out their faith. Likewise, when we live as people-pleasers, we are demonstrating the fact that we are more concerned about people’s approval instead of God’s … and therefore our walk with Him will always be hindered.

Today, ask yourself: What is my greatest perceived need or greatest perceived threat when someone makes a request of me … or when I feel the need to people-please in a relationship? Whom am I trying to please ... God or the person? Maybe most of your life is lived to please God, but there is still some situation … or some person … that triggers you to be a people-pleaser. God wants us to put Him first in all things … we cannot please Him by placing more importance on people’s opinions  … or our needs … over His. Pleasing God is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I do want to please You. Forgive me for the times I let my desire to be accepted by a person outweigh my desire to please You. Thank You for Your love and for accepting me unconditionally. Help me to be a better servant, doing the right thing, not the people-pleasing thing, as I grow healthy relationships with others. Give me courage and peace to withstand the pressure I feel when others are displeased with my answers. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who was the perfect servant, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

I am not trying to please people. I want to please God. Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

Galatians 1:10

Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.

John 12:42-43

Kw: , Needs, People-Pleasing, Conflict

Stepping Stones: “I’ll Only Do It This One Time”

April 26, 2012

 “I’ll Only Do It This One Time”

Transformational Thought

Paul wrote the second chapter of Romans to Jewish readers who believed they had a special relationship with God because they knew, approved, and were obedient to the Law of God. Many believed this relationship made them above the Law, and so were not careful in their lifestyles. They excused behaviors that were wrong and trusted in their supposed privileged position to shield them from the consequences of their guilt.

It is never enough just to know and approve what is right. It is never enough to be a church member or to be born into a Christian family. Nothing has any meaning without a relationship with God that is alive and based solely on faith in Christ as your personal Savior. In today's scripture, Paul is speaking to religious people who lack a living relationship with God.

Religious people are prone to rationalization. They often have a strong belief system. But when their beliefs and behaviors conflict, they may resolve the internal conflict by finding excuses for themselves. Many people are pro-life, but when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy in their own home, some are able to rationalize an abortion. Many oppose pornography, but allow themselves to indulge in secret. Nobody, I repeat, nobody is immune to rationalizing and excusing sinful behaviors and attitudes.

People rationalize sins such as cheating on their taxes, lying, having temper tantrums, gossiping, being bitter, harboring a grudge, controlling others, resisting change, continuing an addiction, or having an affair. "Everyone does it." "I deserve it." "It doesn’t really hurt anyone." "I'll only do it this one time."

Just like at the Last Supper, Jesus told Peter that he would deny Christ later on. Peter adamantly proclaimed his love and loyalty by claiming he would lay down his life for Jesus, but some hours later, Peter was able to rationalize the exact opposite of what he professed he would do, and did indeed deny Christ, not once, not twice, but three times.

Perhaps you have fallen into this rationalization trap. You know God’s Word. You say you believe it. And yet when it comes right down to your personal circumstances, you find a way to rationalize behavior that the Holy Bible condemns. Hypocrisy? You bet! But don’t just pout or deny you’re in this category, learn why you are tricked into thinking that your behavior results in benefit rather than harm.

Today, don’t rationalize or hide. Stop posing. Jesus died so you could lead a transformed life. That is the only place in which the peace and joy we all desire can be found. Faith in Christ sets us free from sin, but we must exercise and apply that faith to life’s situations. It isn't enough to know what the Bible says. God calls us into a close relationship that causes us to want to please Him. We will all stumble and fall along the way, but a close walk with the Lord should encourage us to repent and get back on the right path … to restore our relationship with Him. Knowing and speaking the Word isn't enough … we must live it. Act on what you believe, it’s your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, forgive me for reading Your Word but then going my own way. I pray that You will fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that Your Word will become a living part of me and that I will live to please You. Help me apply Your instruction clearly in my life. I pray that my relationship with You will grow stronger and my desire to please You will grow. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who lived His Father’s Word, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

For merely listening to the law doesn't make us right with God. It is obeying the law that makes us right in his sight.

Romans 2:13

Jesus said to him, "Truly, I say to you, this very night, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times." Peter said to him, "Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you." And so said all the disciples.

Matthew 26:34-35

And when he was gone out into the porch, another maid saw him, and said unto them that were there, “This fellow was also with Jesus of Nazareth.” And again he denied with an oath, “I do not know the man.” And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, “Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech betrayeth thee.” Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, “I know not the man.” And immediately the cock crew. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, “Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.” And he went out, and wept bitterly.

Matthew 26:71-75

Stepping Stones: Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

April 25, 2012

Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

Transformational Thought

As a teenager, I was so ideal in many ways. Trying to hold everyone to such an incredible and unattainable standard was my MO. But for myself, I was such a poser. Espousing and pretending to have ideal functioning, but underneath, the wheels were coming off. I would call those that didn’t measure up, hypocrites. Yet me, the biggest hypocrite.

What is a hypocrite? According to Webster, a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion, a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. In other words, hypocrites pretend to be someone or something that they aren’t. The definition doesn’t distinguish between an intentional or a subconscious (unintentional) deception.

The Bible teaches that a hypocrite is one who pretends to put God first in all things without really being pious … one who talks the talk without walking the walk. Jesus confronted hypocrites vigorously in His earthly ministry. These confrontations of truth pounding against their self-deception fueled the Pharisee’s desire to kill Jesus.

A hypocrite knows what is right but makes elaborate excuses for doing wrong, and rationalizes why his behavior is allowable. He weaves a web of self-deception that eventually traps his thinking and keeps him from seeing the truth. He makes himself king and writes his own rules to declare and stamp his conduct as permissible. My kingdom come, my will be done mentality, all the while proclaiming that Jesus is the Lord of his life.

We all tend to condemn other people's wrong actions and attitudes. At the same time, we are prone to excuse the same or worse behaviors in ourselves. We put on a good front and try to hide our real attitudes and feelings. We try to convince others … and even ourselves … that we are OK. Fooling others usually isn’t too hard, at least in the beginning. We might even delude ourselves for a while, at least on the surface. But God knows our hearts. He is not impressed by our outward displays of "being religious" or following the rules. He considers what we are inside ... our motivations, desires, and fears.

Today, objectively examine whether you are putting up a good front while you privately harbor sin in your life. Maybe the sin is something you are doing … participating in pornography, an adulterous relationship, angry outbursts, sharp words, over-eating, or some other wrong behavior. Maybe it's hidden inside … fear, anxiety, insecurity, bitterness, envy, lack of forgiveness. Remember that whatever it is … God already knows. He loves you and wants to help you overcome. You can start on the path to ending the sinful behavior by admitting your guilt to yourself … and to Him. WITHIN REACH can then help you take the next steps of applying the Bible and allowing God into those deep places in your heart and life and truly transform your heart. Being true or a hypocrite, your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, I know I've been living a lie. I also know that You see the real me--You see my heart. Please forgive my sin and give me the strength to overcome. Help me to be honest with You, with myself, and with others. Open my eyes to the truth, and give me the courage to take one stepping stone at a time to follow Your guidance. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts.”

Luke 16:15

"You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy … full of greed and wickedness!"

Luke 11:39

Stepping Stones: Whose Instruction Book Do You Use?

April 24, 2012

Whose Instruction Book Do You Use?

Transformational Thought

God loves us so much, so much, so instead of making you as a robot that is pre-programmed, He gives us the freedom to make our own choices. Some, like what sox to wear, are of little consequence, but others are life-changing. This freedom of choice dates back to Adam and Eve. They made one choice that went against God’s instruction book and sin has dramatically affected the lives and events of all mankind ever since.

The freedom to make choices is great for us, but, and it is a big but, this freedom brings grave responsibility. We have all made poor choices at times and have suffered the consequences. The good news is that no matter what choices we have made in the past, there is always opportunity for a better future. God knew that we would make some bad choices, but He loves us so much that He sent Jesus. And Jesus willingly, His free-will choice, paid the price for our sin to provide a way to restore our relationship with God.

Some people go through life carrying the load of some wrong choices they’ve made in the past. They believe they’ve messed up so badly that nothing good can ever come of their lives. Do you ever feel this way? Good news! If you want to be set free from the past, Jesus is the answer. He has already paid the price for your sin … for every wrong choice you’ve ever made.

Make a good decision right now by accepting His payment for your sin. This could be the first time (becoming saved) or part of the regular practice of confession, which is a powerful coping skill. God has always wanted to forgive you and help you make better choices. That is why He sent His Son, gave us the Holy Spirit to guide and empower us, and spelled it all out in His instruction book, The Holy Bible.

Many decisions are tough and it’s a great benefit to have a guidebook for our journey. Now it’s up to us … what decision will we make? To follow the greatest instruction book of all time, or to continually write and follow our own very flawed instruction book. I know where “Life According to the Book of Karl” gets me. Although it seemed cool when I was writing it, it truly was hell to live at times. Thank You God for Your amazing grace!

Today, when you make a mistake, stop and look at whose instruction book are you using, yours or God’s. Next time you are in a tough situation, choose to use God’s instruction book instead of the knee-jerk response from your own or society’s instruction book. Document how different the results will be as you develop the spiritual radar of tuning into God’s frequency. Remember, you are very special to God and He loves you no matter what you’ve done. He wants you to put the past behind so that you can become all He has designed you to be. It’s never to late to make good decisions. Learn from your mistakes … and look forward to a future filled with hope. WITHIN REACH is designed to help you practically use God’s instruction manual in all the daily decisions that are your walk. The instruction manual you use is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, thank You for forgiving my sins. I’ve made so many wrong choices. Help me now to put them behind and to look forward to the future You have planned for me … one filled with hope. Show me how to use Your instructions from Your Holy Bible. Thanks for creating me then giving me the instruction book so I can function well and glorify You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who lived Your instruction manual, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3:13-14

For the word of God is living and full of power, and is sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting through and making a division even of the soul and the spirit, the bones and the muscles, and quick to see the thoughts and purposes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

Stepping Stones: You Didn’t Get a Brain Transplant?

April 23, 2012

 You Didn’t Get a Brain Transplant?

Transformational Thought

As we come to Jesus and begin to understand who we are in Him, a major task to propel us forward is to examine our past, see it through Godly lenses, put it behind us, and start marching forward. Paul makes it clear in today’s scripture that he is on a journey. He knows he is not perfect, but he determines to forget what used to motivate him … to forget his past achievements. He reaches forward … to become all Jesus wants him to be. He is moving in the right direction, toward Jesus … and he is intentional in not turning back.

That’s where we need to be too, taking one stepping stone at a time on our journey toward Jesus, to live out and accomplish His purpose for us. In the verse for today, Paul talks about forgetting, but what does he really mean? He is not talking about having amnesia about the past. Some Christians will tell you, “You are a new creation, don’t look at your past, only look forward.”

Now, listen closely as this is a very important point. It seems clear and silly when I say it, but it is a powerful point to me and hopefully to you with many ramifications that clarify journeying for the prize. Here is it comes: When we accepted Christ as our personal savior, we don’t get a brain transplant. Think about it, if we were totally transformed at that point of salvation, we would never have sinned again. How sad, that as believers, we do still sin. So there must be something we have to do to allow the perfect Holy Spirit to complete His job in perfecting an imperfect us.

You see, it is all comes down to decision-making. This is our part. Stewarding our decision-making opportunities. In order to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us, one thing we need to do is look at how our past adversely influences present decision-making. We need to forget the old motivations, goals, and pursuits we once had … and stop conforming to the world’s system.

Our past is what God allowed in our lives so we would draw close to Him. Another outcome is to prepare us for the good works He has planned for us. Many situations, both good and bad, from my life prior to my commitment to Christ, are used by God in ministry to others. This is what God intended. Forgetting my past would cause me to miss opportunities to learn about God’s grace, forgiveness, and love and to turn what Satan intended for bad into something God can use for His glory.

But when we look at our past, we do need to process it with a very specific focus on Jesus and God’s plans and goals. That will transform our lenses so we can take every thought captive and allow God to come in to those old areas of hurt. Then healing can occur … and truth will replace the ripples of distortion that Satan wants fogging our lenses.

Today, don’t ruminate about the past, but don’t ignore it as if you had a brain transplant. Your past is always affecting your decisions now, so examine your decisions today to understand how your past affects them. This will actually show you what is at the center of your heart. Your past will reveal why, in certain situations, other things are at the center of your heart, instead of God. WITHIN REACH and Edging Forward are our curriculum that helps you examine and understand your decision-making process, and become a Godly decision-maker. Whether you have a renewd mind(a brain transplant) is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear God, Thank You for Your healing and forgiveness. Help me to use my past hurts for my growth. Do not allow them to interfere with the growth You have for me.  Show me how to keep my eyes on Jesus as I move forward along the path You have for me. Help me to practice this skill regularly. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who has made everything right, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

Stepping Stones: Claim The Victory, It’s Already Won!

April 21-22, 2012

Claim The Victory, It’s Already Won!

Transformational Thought

Have you ever had that feeling? You know what I’m talking about. Life seems to be going well, everything is falling into place. You are on a roll, hit a streak. But then, out of the blue, all of a sudden, it comes like a thief in the night. I will feel a cold, wet blanket come over me. A memory from my past creeps into my mind … then it feels like all the goodness gets sucked right out of the moment like the most powerful vacuum you’ve seen just got in you head and replaces all the good stuff with negative. Shame, guilt, doubt, worry, or regret instantly flood my mind and seek to control my heart.

Perhaps you have made some poor choices in the past and are suffering the consequences. Maybe you have suffered a traumatic personal loss. Perhaps you have suffered abuse from a parent or spouse or another “trusted” person. It doesn’t have to be a “major” trauma either. Most hurts for any 6 y.o. are somewhat “traumatic” because we usually don’t have very good coping mechanisms or interpreters in our life to put the hurt of being picked last on the playground in proper context for us.

Many of these minor hurts, unless interpreted and processed well, which most kids never do, leave lingering messages of doubt and confusion that Satan uses to steal away times of joy and blessing.

Read today’s scripture carefully. God promises that despite all these obstacles of life, you can have overwhelming victory through Christ. Come to Him for help … and forgiveness. If you let Christ in, nothing … absolutely nothing … can separate you from His love. No reason all that stuff from the past should steal another minute of your joy and happiness. A victory doesn’t just mean to win … it means a decisive win … a win that leaves no doubt.

It is easy to look at scriptures about God’s love and think, “Yes, God loves all people.” But in our innermost being we don’t include ourselves in the “all people.” We think, “I’m different … I’m just not good enough … That’s alright for other people, but I’ve made too many mistakes. I’ve got special circumstances. It’s too late for me.” We need to examine and search for the lies that keep us feeling defeated with no chance of winning in this life on Earth.

God’s Word makes it abundantly clear that you are included. No matter what you have done. No matter what other people say or think about you. No matter what you think about yourself. God loves you. Jesus died for you. Nothing will ever separate you from His love.

Today, stop when you struggle. Tell yourself “God loves me and He proved it.” Then consider how that changes your view of the moment. Walk with Jesus and you can have overwhelming victory over every problem and obstacle in your life. The problems might still be there … the obstacles may still come. But you won’t have to face them alone or have a defeated attitude and perspective. God will empower you to overcome. Your joy and victory is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear Father God, thank You that these promises are not just for other people … but they are really for me. Thank You for your unconditional love. Thank You that no matter what happened in the past or comes my way in the future, I can walk in victory through Jesus. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who made my victory possible, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I know that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow … not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below … indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

Stepping Stones: How Do You See Yourself?

April 20, 2012

How Do You See Yourself?

Transformational Thought

One of the more difficult parts of my job is listening as people tell their personal stories of being abused. Many women get abused by their husbands, and at times, husbands get abused by wives. The most disheartening stories are those of adults, and especially those of children, talking about the physical or sexual abuse that was perpetrated on them. We in Pennsylvania have certainly heard of the travesties and reports of serial molestations by high profile coach Jerry Sandusky.

Abuse takes many forms … but it is always debilitating. It cripples not only the direct victim, but also the abuser and the people who witness it. When kids witness abuse it is especially devastating. In the United States alone, husbands and partners batter 3 to 4 million women each year. Three million reports of child abuse are made every year just in the United States. But experts estimate that the incidence of abuse and neglect is five times greater than reported. Many children are suffering from this hidden epidemic. While these are U.S. figures, the  same problems exist around the world, and in most places at much higher rates.

Last month, a YouTube video, KONY 2012, went viral. Joseph Kony is a ruthless militant rebel leader in Uganda who has been terrorizing a nation of kids for more than 20 years. He has used rape, maiming, disfigurement, and physical, emotional, and psychological abuse to kill off parents, and enslave or brainwash children to do his diabolic dirty work.

Abuse is a sin that dishonors God and disrespects His creation of life. Psychological abuse and spiritual abuse inflict critical damage above and beyond the terrible aspects of physical and sexual danger. The most chronic damage is the distortion of the lenses we need to see life accurately, from God’s perspective. We need eyes that see the truth. But abuse contaminates and significantly interferes with proper lens development.

Abuse erodes confidence and self-esteem. We begin believing what we are told about ourselves; we think that anyone treated violently and abusively must deserve it. These beliefs are often accepted early in life and become part of the initial lenses through which we see and process all information. Even if abuse occurs when we are older, the intensity of the experience makes it a formidable opponent to seeing ourselves as God sees us, our God-image.

Abuse communicates “I am worthless” … “I am an object to be used by you whenever you want” … “dignity, respect, and honor are not for me” … “I don’t deserve anything in life” … “I’ll never accomplish anything in life.” These distortions and interpretations form part of the foundation on which we build the rest of our lives.

Today, ask, “How do I see myself?” “Is my self-image based on other people’s words and actions toward me? Or is it based on the truth of God’s Word, a God-image?” God knew you before you were even born. He created you … and His works are wonderful. Let Jesus help take your focus off yourself and begin the process of training your eyes on Him. He is able to heal your eyes, to see yourself as He sees you.

Yes, as I wrote above, hearing reports of child abuse is the most difficult part of my job. On the flip side, being able to help these kids is a great blessing God has given me. In July this year, I will be privileged to lead a team of 6 into ground zero of Kony’s devastation in Gulu, Uganda. We will be working with 300 children who now live in refugee camps who were abused by Kony’s army and tactics. We will also be counseling and training 50 mentors who currently work with these 300 children. Unfortunately, most of these mentors were also victims of Kony’s terror. To read about our upcoming trip click here. This will be a very unique journey and the first of it’s kind in this area. Please support us financially and in prayer. The war isn’t over till the children are healed!

Prayer

Dear Father God, Thank You for this reminder that You formed me and made me … and that Your works are wonderful. I must admit, though, sometimes I don’t feel as though I’m wonderful at all. In fact, sometimes I feel as though I don’t deserve anything good. Help me to fully grasp what Jesus did for me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.

Matthew 13:15,16

Stepping Stones: You Are Never Alone!

April 19, 2012

 You Are Never Alone!

Transformational Thought

One of my favorite childhood TV shows was Gilligan’s Island. Did I ever have a crush on Maryanne! The cast had fun adventures with different strangers on the island, and constructed modern day amenities out of coconuts and palm tree leaves. But the most important item they had was really each other. By contrast, in the movie “Castaway,” Tom Hanks was stranded on an island by himself and went crazy.

Do you ever feel as if you are stranded on an island, all alone? The other day, I had a very difficult decision to make. The initial sense that came to me was “Wow, I have no help from anyone else, this is all on me, and me alone.” I felt isolation and loneliness … not really sensing anyone around to help me. I was in it by myself and had to bear the burden of getting all the info and making the decision, as well as the responsibility of bearing any consequences of making a wrong decision all by myself.

Whenever I am in the midst of one of life’s storms, I have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness … of being alone. Like I am on an island all by myself. Unable to ask questions, brainstorm with others, without anyone to encourage or comfort me. I can’t even see a ship or another island around providing the hope of some help. I can be standing in the middle of a crowded room yet feel completely alone.

We have all experienced loneliness. In fact many people struggling with depression feel as though they are alone most of the time. They often feel that no one cares or understands … as though even God is distant and unavailable, punishing us for not pursuing Him. When I was a kid, I often thought He was concerned with more important things in the world than my trivial life and frustrations.

Being a psychiatrist, I have many medical books about healing in my bookshelf, but the most accurate and powerful book is the Holy Bible. When I am feeling alone, I look in the Bible for the truth. Then I try to uncover the issues, distortions, or misinterpretations that influence me to believe the lie that God is not right there with me.

You may feel alone, but the truth, the actual reality, is that God is always with you. Here are just a few of His promises: I am with you (Genesis 28:15). I walk with you (Leviticus 26:12). I am near you (Psalm 34:18). I hold your right hand (Isaiah 41:13). I carry you even into old age (Isaiah 46:4).

You see, Satan has been pounding away at you since your first breaths to trick you into believing that: 1. God doesn’t exist; 2. If He does exist, He’s too busy for you; 3. If He isn’t too busy, then you’re not good enough yet; or 4. God is mean and punitive and has sent you to the dungeon or corner of life indefinitely.

Today, identify what lies you believe when you are under stress, like believing God is not with you. You must identify it or it will keep on influencing you. You need to practice debunking that lie, because you practiced believing the wrong way many times. Replace it with the truth so you can be encouraged by reading these scriptures and others like them. Write your favorites down and put them where you see them all the time. Speak them aloud. Substitute your own name for the word “you”. God says, I am with (your name) … I walk with (your name) … I am near (your name). God is speaking these promises to you personally. Remember … you are never alone. Jesus is with you. He is with you this moment. He will be with you tonight … and tomorrow. He will be with you through the good times and bad. He will never leave you. It’s your decision what you believe about God’s presence, so choose well. WITHIN REACH will help you uncover the lies you believe and practice replacing them with truth.

Prayer

Dear Father God, Thank You for Your many promises to be with me … always. Help me believe Your promises more than I believe my feelings. I pray, Father, for all those within the Stepping Stones community who feel they are alone. Help them dig to uncover the lies about You. Reveal Your presence in a powerful way. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who is always with me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

The LORD is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.

Psalm 34:18

Stepping Stones: Go on a Fox Hunt!

April 18, 2012

Go on a Fox Hunt!

Transformational Thought

The 1939 play, “The Little Foxes” by Lillian Hellman, was based on Scripture from Song of Solomon 2:15. The foundation of the play can be summed up this way: many times it’s the collection of all the small missteps that get us in trouble. Some marriages with no major problems still get into trouble because of an accumulation of little things. The Bible refers to these issues as the little foxes that ruin the vineyard.

You see, we are usually much better at crisis intervention than we are at regular maintenance. This is because we are a bit lazy, often manifested as procrastination, willing and able to ignore or table a small issue ‘til we can give it “more attention.” Work and effort are required to handle these little foxes, and we would rather invest that energy in enjoyable endeavors … fun activities. Or, if we are tackling trouble areas, we’ll invest the energy in bigger issues that have been put off too long, that demand attention now, and ignoring the little core issues that really need our attention.

Make a commitment to pay attention to the little foxes in your marriage: being thoughtless or preoccupied, making sarcastic comments, forgetting anniversaries or birthdays, criticizing, taking your spouse for granted, and not appreciating the little things they do. These little foxes might seem unimportant, but they can eventually knock a person, a marriage, and ultimately a whole family into the abyss of confusion, frustration, and despair. And it all starts with little, almost imperceptible issues.

Are you letting any foxes loose in your marriage? Are you spending time with your spouse, or has "busy-ness" taken over? Has that luster of wanting to spend every moment with him or her worn off? Remember when you couldn’t take your hands off each other? Remember when you couldn’t hang up because you would miss her voice? Do you really listen to him talk? Do you persist in that little habit that irritates your spouse? With God's help, identify these little pebbles before they become bigger divisive wedges.

For you single people, let me say all of the married people vowed never to let foxes into their vineyard. All have boasted, “That will never happen to me.” But as you see, we all fall prey to the insidious trickery of the sly foxes Satan uses to undermine what God has ordained and blessed. Safeguard your heart and mind now … before you get married. Practice these skills in all your relationships, then you will be better equipped. When the time comes you will have a better chance in your marriage. Also, these principles apply not just to marriage, but to every relationship we find ourselves in, especially that of a parent.

Today, go on a foxhunt to be sure pesky little patterns or habits aren't creeping up on you. Replace the destructive little foxes with acts of love and the willingness to put God at the center of the relationship. Address the issue head on. Plan a surprise dinner for two. Buy a sentimental gift. Join your spouse in one of his or her favorite activities … even if it's not your thing. These little acts of thoughtfulness can help a marriage move forward. Then authentic and difficult discussions can happen. Deeper relational fulfillment can be found. Your relationships are your  decision, so choose well.

Prayer

Dear God, Forgive me for how I have acted towards one of the greatest gifts You have given me, my spouse. Marriage is so powerful, but also tricky and complex. Help me become more aware of the "little foxes" that I bring to the marriage … and help me replace them with love as I focus on You. I wish I were a better husband, but with Your love for me, I can channel that love to my wife. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!

Song of Solomon 2:15

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23