Stepping Stones: Dealing With Loss: It Really is a Choice

Transformational Thought

Aging may bring the loss of mobility, hearing, sight, sex, independence, cognitive ability, friends, loved ones, and other cherished abilities and treasures. Each of us has a choice how we will react to these losses.

We might choose depression, becoming overwhelmed with a sense of being useless, but even worse, being a burden to others. We might choose anger and resentment because of the loss of control and independence. However, if we choose to dwell on what we no longer have or no longer can do, then we will miss the great opportunities still open to us.

Although it is normal to grieve our losses, it is easy to have this grief become the main lenses we use to see ourselves, our future, and especially God, through. This distorted viewpoint will dramatically affect our functioning and decision-making. Instead, we need to choose to concentrate on the relationships, abilities, and opportunities that are still ours. To view life and God through truthful lenses, and not emotionally distorted lenses.

These words from Paul can be an encouragement to us as we go through the aging process ourselves or care for our parents: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

You might think, I’m not old, so this doesn’t apply to me, but I’ll pass it to an old person I know. Well, the way you handle getting older will be determined by how you “practiced” handling loss during your age 10-55.

Today, identify some losses, or more often, something you wish you had but you don’t. How does this “loss” affect your lenses of you, God, and life? Try not to llow those feelings or distortions affect your present or view of your future…that’s an entitled mind set. Focus on thankfulness for what you do have, concentrate on Jesus, knowing that He will enable us (or our aging parents) to still serve Him in and through the adversity…and to bless others.

Prayer
Dear Father God, help me to dwell on the positive in this season of my life…the good, not the bad, what I can do…not what I am unable to do. Guide all aging parents to focus on the positives in their lives, and guide us younger ones to practice these skills now. I thank You that we can pray in the name of and do all things through Jesus; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.
Philippians 4:8

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.
Deuteronomy 30:19,20