Saturday, June 12, 2010

Stepping Stones: Unresolved Anger Has Poisonous Roots!

Transformational Tip

When you feel angry with someone, do you express your feelings…or do you hold the anger inside? People who bury their anger usually believe they are doing the right thing by appearing calm on the outside. The reality, however, is that unresolved anger can fester and develop into resentment, bitterness, or even depression.

Some people respond to anger by immediately holding it in, but then releasing it or letting it go a short time later without hurting themselves or others. When this happens, the results may be beneficial. But if you tend to hold your anger inside and become resentful, ask God to help you share your angry feelings with people as they occur. Not in a rage or with unkind words…just an honest expression of your feelings.

The Bible teaches that we shouldn't carry anger overnight. Get it settled before going to bed. Otherwise, it is likely that resentment will begin to grow.

As we discussed yesterday, anger is just a God-given warning system…letting us know when a real or potential problem exists. Until you actually do something about the underlying problem, your brain will continue to thankfully warn you. Not addressing the problem is what allows anger to grow, fester, and either overflow and come out in harmful ways, or be directed inward and lead to real negative self-talk and self-image.

Perhaps you are already experiencing bitterness because of past unexpressed grievances. The answer…Acknowledge the hurt…Forgive or ask for forgiveness…Then problem solve the original problem the anger was warning you about. You won’t have to try so hard to let go of the anger…because, when the problem is resolved, the anger will go away.

Holding on to bitterness can damage your relationship with God and with others, your peace of mind, and can even harm your health. Being a problem solver and forgiving…and being forgiven…can change all that. Ask God…He will help you.

Today, notice if someone is angry. Ask them, “You seem angry or upset. There must be some problem that your anger is warning you about. Can I help you with that problem?” You can ask the same to yourself as well.
Click here to share your perspective about letting go of anger.

Prayer
Dear Father God, forgive me and help me deal with this resentment I have been carrying. Give me the strength and wisdom to acknowledge the hurt, control my anger, identify and solve the underlying issue, and forgive and move forward. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the best mirror for my eye exam, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many
Hebrews 12:15

Friday, June 11, 2010

Stepping Stones: Make Anger Your Servant…Not Your Master

Transformational Tip

Yesterday we talked about how anger doesn’t have to be wrong…but what causes anger? In reality, the answer could be "nothing" around us. We might think that a rude driver or unfair criticism or a friend's betrayal angers us, but the anger is actually our own doing. It is actually our lenses, our response based on how we view a situation that creates the anger.

During the basketball game the other night, if my team scores a last minute game-winning basket, I am excited…someone rooting for the other team, experienced the same event, but instead of being excited, is actually angry.

The event, a made shot, doesn’t cause the anger, or else everybody experiencing the event would be angry. The difference, the key ingredient…the lenses we use as we witness or experience the event.

Anger(and all our negative feelings) is a great warning system. Anger let’s us know when something is not going right or when potential danger exists. If I am in the woods and see a tiger, I should get angry, sad, worried, frightened. That is a good warning system letting me know something is not safe or right.

When someone insults us or treats us badly, we should get angry. That lets us know a problem exists in this relationship and needs to be addressed. We can choose how to respond. God has given us free will to control our feelings, thoughts, and actions. Will we choose unkind words or find a way to "get even"…or will we problem solve and forgive? It's our choice. No matter what our background or the current circumstances, we are responsible for our own behavior and we can’t blame it on our emotions.

None of us express our feelings appropriately all the time. But the Bible tells us, For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. Philippians 4:13.

Today, notice when you are angry. Stop and thank God for a great warning system. Then look below the anger to the problem you are getting warned about and address it. If you don’t, your warning system(anger) will keep on alerting you till the problem is resolved. Let Jesus can help you make anger your servant instead of your master by following His attitude and actions.
Click here to share your perspective about making anger your servant.

Prayer
Dear Father God, when I am wronged in some way, help me to choose the right response…the one that is pleasing to You. Teach me to control my anger, have patience, problem solve, and forgive. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one who teaches me how to handle all things well, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.
Proverbs 19:11

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Stepping Stones: Anger…Right or Wrong?

Transformational Tip

Anger: right or wrong? The answer is that anger is right…but it can also be wrong. Anger is a God-given emotional energy designed for good. But the expression of this anger-produced energy can often lead to sin…though it doesn't have to. With God's help, we can control our thoughts and actions that come after the anger.

The Bible tells of many times when anger was a positive force for good to be done. Moses' anger when the Israelites worshipped idols resulted in their repentance (Exodus 32:19-35). Jesus' anger motivated him to clear abusers from his Father's temple (Luke 19:45-48).

Actually, it seems like half the Old Testament, God is angry and jealous as the Israelites perpetually reject Him and do their own thing. We know God never sins, so anger itself can’t be a bad thing.

In fact, our anger can be a positive force in many daily situations as well. Appropriate anger at our children's wrong behaviors can motivate us as parents to exert firm but loving discipline. Anger against injustices and wrongdoing in our communities can motivate us to do something positive about the situation.

Our anger can also lead to sinful acts of selfishness, unkindness or even aggression. It is our responsibility to use our anger-induced energy in positive ways, even if it's just walking around the block to cool off.

Today, if you experience anger, stop and remember that anger itself isn’t bad, it’s what you decide to do with your anger that will determine a positive or negative outcome. As we find with most situations in life: It's your choice.
Click here to share your perspective about how anger influences you.

Prayer
Dear Father God, forgive me for the times I have used my anger in sinful ways instead of as a positive force. I know I get irritated easily and for pretty me-centered reasons. Help me control my thoughts and actions and to use my anger in positive ways. Help me develop eyes that see life more clearly and from a bigger picture view. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry … but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
Ephesians 4:26-27

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Stepping Stones: Addiction: In Over My Head

Transformational Tip

I just have to say it…I am in over my head!

Do you have an area in your life that you have a hard time controlling? We all do…don’t think you aren’t addicted to something? Could be behaviors (like actual addictions, or eating issues), repetitive thought patterns (self-esteem, wanting more, comparing yourself), or emotions that influence you (anger, worry, stress, insecurity).

We all have the potential of coming under the persuasion of a life-influencing or controlling problem. This is one way Satan uses to take control. When we take the first step down the wrong path to creating a life-controlling problem…the enemy smiles and says “Gotchya!” Facing the reality of the problem is always difficult; however, doing so is the first step on the right path…the road to recovery.

One sign of a life-controlling problem (or the start of one) is when a substance, behavior, or relationship interferes in an important area of our life (job, school, family…) but we continue the behavior regardless. In other words, we are hurting others or ourselves but do not make a change to correct the destructive issue.

Admitting our powerlessness over a life-controlling problem is not a weakness; it is strength. The problem is the life interfering issue, not the admission of it.

Is there some negative issue in your life that you don’t seem able to control? Perhaps you have thoughts like these: “There is no way out.” “I am in over my head.” “I feel like a runaway truck.” “I feel overwhelmed.” As trapped as you might feel right now, there is a way out. You can change…but not by yourself. Take this first step.

Today, admit your powerlessness over this problem. Don’t allow embarrassment, pride or hopelessness to stop you any longer from getting help. Admit your need to yourself and to God. Tell Him that you need His help. He loves you, He wants to help you and He is able. If you want to consider more intensive coaching or professional help, call our helpline 877-562-2565 x-101. We will help you with options from in home workshops to residential treatment to help you or a loved one become liberated from the chains of your struggle.

Click here to share your perspective about “being in over your head.”

Prayer
Dear Father God, I desperately need Your help. I have tried to hide this problem from You and from others…even from myself. Please forgive me and show me the way out. I have tried on my own to change my patterns but I can’t. I need you. Show me who You will bring into my life to help guide me to use Your truth and instruction, Your love and forgiveness, to transform my life. I pray this and all prayers in the one you sent to make my freedom possible, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.
Proverbs 3:5-8

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Stepping Stones: “Turn To Jesus” Means…

Transformational Tip

How refreshing is this fact…Jesus never changes! When you climbed out of bed this morning, regardless of how you might have felt and the subtle changes you went through, He had not changed during the night. He is trustworthy and consistent.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

No matter what your situation, you can turn to Jesus. Turn to Jesus…what does that mean? Obviously not just a physical turning, but something more practical and powerful. Turning our back on the world’s values, ways of measuring success, influences, and decision-making strategies. Turning away from the desires of our flesh.

What choices are you facing? We all make one very key decision in every circumstance we face that determines the outcome of that particular situation…The choice of what lenses will I use to view, experience, and assess this particular event God has allowed to come into my life. Turning toward, understanding, grabbing hold of, and using God’s instruction, forgiveness, grace, promises, and character to form the lenses I use. This is what is meant by turning toward Jesus. Following Jesus…choosing His way, His lenses, not yours…choose to receive His love…choose to trust Him.

If you do this, you will of course still have problems and challenges…but each one of these opportunities (yes, I called them opportunities) will grow you more powerfully psychologically and spiritually, because it won’t be you who is responding to the adversity, but it will be Jesus who lives in you, who will be responding.

Today, choose to trust Jesus and do things His way, God has room to work in your life. He will help you move on past the hurt or pain or failures of the past. He will give you hope for the future. Use lenses based on who He is and what He teaches, don’t use those distorted lenses, with all the muck we’ve accumulated from this world.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Click here to share your perspective about the path you have chosen.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I do want to trust You, not just verbalizing it, but actually doing it in every circumstance. I know You love me and that Your plan for me is the best plan. Please keep me on track…show me the next step…and the next after that. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one who I choose to follow, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!
Proverbs 3:5-7

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Monday, June 7, 2010

Stepping Stones: Give Me What I Want

Transformational Tip

Jesus taught the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. This young man really showed the classic “I don’t need any authority because it’s all about what I need and what I want…now!” mentality to guide his decision-making. We’ve all been there.

Deciding to set out on his own, he asked his father for his inheritance and off he went. He proceeded to make more bad choices, squandering his money on wild living. Eventually the money was gone and he fell to the position of feeding another man’s livestock. He was so hungry, even the food he was feeding the pigs looked good. He thought of home…his father’s servants would be eating better than he.

“I think I’ll return home and become one of my father’s servants”, he thought. “I don’t deserve more than that, but I believe he’ll hire me.” Good decisions; to admit his error and stop blaming others…to face up to responsibility.

The young man’s father, waiting for him and saw him coming home. He ran out to meet him with open arms, killed the fatted calf, and had a huge party to celebrate his son’s homecoming. This is one of the most powerful messages provided in the Word.

Don’t we often ask God for our inheritance, our salvation and other spiritual assets, and say, “thanks, but I don’t need you anymore. I’m off to satisfy my needs, my way, on my timeline, with no regard for my future growth.” Like the prodigal’s father, God gives us free will, hopes we choose to follow His instruction, but is always waiting with forgiveness and open arms when we come to our senses.

Have you made some bad decisions? Wandered off and squandered your talents or your opportunities to do good? Felt that your way was a better way than God’s? We all have, but return to Him and enjoy the contentment and celebration of letting Him be your Father, Teacher, Counselor, Coach, and Lord.

Today, make the right choice to follow the stepping-stones to your Heavenly Father. Every day, many opportunities exist to run with your inheritance and do life on your own. Or you can submit to His authority and guidance. Your choice. Make good decisions, because you have to live with the consequences or get to reap the rewards.
Click here to share your perspective with the stepping stones community.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I’ve made so many mistakes. I know many of the things I’ve done have not pleased You, but I thank You for this assurance of Your love and forgiveness. Please forgive me and take me into Your loving arms. I need You Father…I need more of You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one who opened His arms on the cross for me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.
Luke 15:20

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Stepping Stones: Map To The Promised Land

Transformational Tip

Hopefully, as you have been with us, you have recognized an area of emphasis we consistently focus on: Decision-Making. Life all comes down to choices and the decisions we make at many forks in the road. Amazing as it seems, we make, 5000 – 10000 decisions per day, actually a conservative estimate.

God gave us the Best Instruction Book for Living Everyday because He is all about helping us make choices. Perhaps the biggest choice is whether or not we are going to Trust Him to guide us and to trust the guidance He gives us.

The Bible promises us that if we follow God, all things will work together for our good. I have found this to be so true. As I trust Jesus to help me make the right choices, I know without a doubt that no matter how things may look right now, in the end they will work out for the best. His way is always the best way … and His time, the best time.

Why should you trust God?

First of all, He loves you more than you love you…He sacrificed more for you than you ever sacrificed for you. In fact, He loves you so much that He gave up heaven and then died on the cross…for you. His love is perfect—and nothing can ever separate you from that love. You are important to him.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death
nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

Second, he knows what is best. He knows what is best for you in the here and now…and even more important, He knows what is best for you in eternity. He sees the whole picture…a perspective we can never have. Today’s scripture beautifully expresses the blessing of trusting Him in all planning and decisions.

And last, he is able. He has the power to work things out for your good.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

Today, choose to trust His way in a trouble spot for you. “Why?” you may ask. Well we laid out our case above, but what else are you going to trust? Yourself, other people, material things, your looks…has that strategy really delivered the abundant life, the Promised Land you yearn for? Trust Him, you will never regret it.
Click here to share your perspective about trusting Him.

Prayer
Dear Father God, forgive me for the times I thought I knew more than You. I know that You love me and want only what is best for me. And I know that no matter how things may look sometimes, Your way is always the best way. Help me to trust You more and choose to do things Your way. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the one I trust completely, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by GOD. You're blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That's right—you don't go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set.
Psalm 119:1-3

“The Lord your God will then make you successful in everything you do. The Lord your God will delight in you if you obey his voice and keep the commands and decrees written in this Book of Instruction, and if you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and soul. This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand, and it is WITHIN REACH. The message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it.
“Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.
Deut 30:9a,10-11,14-16

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Stepping Stones: Cutting In Line Again?

Transformational Tip

Yesterday I was standing in line at the omelet making station of a nice restaurant serving brunch…there were 4 or 5 people ahead on me in line. This well-dressed, middle-age man with his teenage son walked in front of the line in an attempted to place their omelet orders. The chef making the omelets gently told the man there was a line.

As the man stepped back, I assumed he was just making an honest mistake, so I jokingly asked; “Were you trying to cut in line?” His response surprised… and saddened me. He said; “Absolutely…if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”

It’s a hard one to measure, but it sure feels like our society is increasingly turning to short-cuts and cheating to get what they want. And here, the guy in the omelet line was not only attempting to cheat…but he even adapted a slogan to glorify it. What is he teaching his young son?

Then I realized how often “I cut in line” in my day. Sleeping in…taking that extra meatball or cookie…not confronting a situation that needs it…procrastinating a less desirable task or project…judging someone before all the evidence is in…doing a task halfway…leaving that wrapper behind the garbage for someone else to pick up. And these all happened before lunch! I am too embarrassed to tell you my major “short-cuts.”

Unbelievable what we are willing to do to avoid a little discomfort…then rationalize it so we believe it is self-protective, when actually, it is self-destructive. Harmful to our brain chemistry, our personality and psychological skill set development, and spiritual walk in developing the Mind of Christ. You see, these short-cuts don’t renew the mind, they undermine, weaken, and pollute the mind.

Today, examine your behavior and actions regarding short-cuts and cheating. Be mindful that even minor infractions eventually trend toward major infractions. Whereas, minor character building actions truly renew your mind for you to become powerful lighthouses of character. As always, the choice is yours…don’t harm yourself.
Click here to share your perspective about short-cuts and cheating.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I confess that I have been guilty of cheating…in small and in big ways. I ask Your forgiveness Father. I know You have protected me from many consequences of my shortcuts…thank You for Your amazing grace. I pray that You fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that He may guide me to the “right-way”…in “Your way” in all that I do. Help me not to be deceived into believing the shortcuts are beneficial to me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who always avoided shortcuts and had ultimate integrity and character, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Luke 16:10

The righteous detest the dishonest; the wicked detest the upright.
Proverbs 29:27

Friday, June 4, 2010

Stepping Stones: Self Eye Exam - Regularly

Transformational Tip

The last couple of days we have been discussing the complicated and seemingly contradictory instructions we get from the Bible about judging others. We saw how we are called not to judge and yet called to judge. The main element was looking at the heart, of both the judger and the judged.

In the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children…to pick elders and church leaders with certain character…to vote for Godly leaders…to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two brothers. So again, the permission to judge rests in the motivation engine in our heart that drives our judging the other person.

If our motivation is to condemn, shame, mock, belittle them…or exalt ourselves, then obviously, this is not the kind of peer judging God calls us to.

Our motivation needs to be one of compassion, love, service, and encouragement. Trying to help someone avoid the perils of reaping the fruit of the flesh that their continued wrong behavior will produce. Being a vehicle or mouthpiece of God and trying to direct them to God and His Word.

Another issue in our judging is the motivation for why we are judging the other person. In today's scripture, Jesus describes a type of hypocrisy most of us have experienced. We are quick to condemn others when we should be examining our own lives. Often our sin even surpasses theirs.

Jesus says that before we can help them, we need to have a look at our own lives. Are we involved in wrongdoing that might cloud our wisdom and hamper our ability to help? Our sin, baggage, issues could distort our perception of their conduct, and we might even wrongly judge them. We could also give them poor counsel as our issues bleed into our Biblical objectivity.

Not having our house in order will also undermine our credibility to speak into their lives. Why would they listen to or believe us when I have all this junk and blindspots in my life. What expertise or wisdom do I have to impart if I cant even apply it in my own life.

If we aren’t looking at our own stuff, that will be a pretty good barometer of out level of humility. Low humility…high pride. Not a great combo to speak into another’s life with Godliness. Our dysfunction will also hinder our prayers for them?

Today, as Jesus teaches, get the plank out of your own eye…only then will you see clearly enough to help your friends with their problems. Have you performed a self eye exam lately? Like me, you are probably overdue!

Click here to share your perspective about being judging yourself first.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge…and to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me to examine my own life first so I can see clearly to help others and not condemn them. Help me to extend the same grace to them that You have abundantly extended to me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the best mirror for my eye exam, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:3-5

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Stepping Stones: How Should We “Judge” One Another?

Transformational Tip

Yesterday, we opened up the topic of Judging others. We saw how we are called not to judge and called to judge. The main element was looking at the heart, of both the judger and the judged.

And what right do we have to condemn others? We are not perfect. Jesus made this clear to the crowd condemning the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-9). They were clamoring to stone her, but Jesus asked, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." One by one, her accusers disappeared.

But in the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children…to pick elders and church leaders with certain character…to vote for Godly leaders…to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two brothers. So again, the permission to judge rests in the motivation engine in our heart that drives our judging the other person.

If our motivation is to condemn, shame, mock, belittle them…or exalt ourselves, then obviously, this is not the kind of peer judging God calls us to.

Our motivation needs to be one of compassion, love, service, and encouragement. Trying to help someone avoid the perils of reaping the fruit of the flesh that their continued wrong behavior will produce. Being a vehicle or mouthpiece of God and trying to direct them to God and His Word.

Another element is how we approach the behavior in question. Since we don’t know the motivation, we need to ask them questions. Help them recognize the misconduct and start to help them search their heart for the motivations, fears, issues, me-centered process that led to the wrong behavior. We also want them to know the forgiveness God has and how He wants to receive them back

Today, if God has put you in special positions to speak into others lives, do it with love and with the motivations as described above. You can be a great catalyst in their spiritual walk…or a major stumbling block…depending on where your heart is as you handle this assignment from and for God.
Click here to share your perspective about being quick to judge.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge…and to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me to really see how you want to partner with me in ministry and have put people in my life for me to “judge”. Help me recognize the seriousness of this responsibility and guard my heart from my flesh and Satan. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One slow to judge, always a servant, and quick to forgive, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.
John 8:3-9

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Stepping Stones: To Judge Or Not To Judge

Transformational Tip

We judge all the time. Someone’s clothes…hair…car…house…how clean they are…their weight…their attitude. Some say it is wrong to judge, and we are not to judge…that judging is up to God. He is the only one who has the right and authority to judge. Judge not lest ye be judged.

But in the Bible, we are called as parents to correct our children…to pick elders and church leaders with certain character…to vote for Godly leaders…to be a third party helping settle a dispute between two brothers.

How can we carry out these duties without judging the conduct of the individuals? What a dilemma…to judge or not to judge. How do we know when to judge and when to sit tight? Sorting out these contradictory and complex instructions and scenarios is complex, and I don’t want to oversimplify, but most can be boiled down to: what’s at the center of your heart motivating your behavior, either as the judge or the judged?

Only God can see into hearts to truly judge fully the whole scope of an event. We can judge conduct, but only hypothesize at the motivation leading to the conduct. God knows everything and judges accurately, impartially, and according to absolute truth. We are too limited to make the same fair and quality judgments.

We are called to judge conduct (tomorrow we will look at that element a little more), but not to judge someone’s heart.
Today, try to determine whether you are judging a person’s heart or their conduct. If you are judging heart, that is a dangerous area for you to wade, and needs to be approached with extreme caution.
Click here to share your perspective about being quick to judge another’s heart.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I know I am sometimes quick to judge…and to condemn. Please forgive me. Help me understand my own issues better and resolve my needs so I don’t feel compelled to judge and ridicule others to lessen my fears, anxieties, or insecurities and inadequacies. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One quick to forgive, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;”
Luke 6:37

There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
James 4:12

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Stepping Stones: People Pleaser or God Pleaser?

Transformational Tip

I love to please my daughters. Who doesn’t want to see their kids happy, especially if we can be the one bringing them delight. But we also want to see them safe and healthy, so when they make unhealthy or dysfunctional requests, it is easy to say “NO!”…even though they aren’t pleased or are actually upset by our answer.

Don’t believe me? What about when they ask for…their third bowl of ice cream…the keys to the car and they are only 13…to stay out to midnight when they are 14 on a school night…or camp out with boyfriend, alone, when they are 16. All these will easily get a “No” answer from me regardless of how displeased my beloved daughters are to me.

When fellow adults make dysfunctional requests, for some reason, for most of us, it is harder to say “No”. Whether I think they know more than I do about the particular situation…they know what’s best for themselves…I fear and hate being uneasy when people are mad or upset at me …I fear being rejected by them…I need their approval…I need acceptance. Many “I need…” or “I fear…” lenses, based on me centered mentality, significantly interfere with our perspective and lead to dysfunctional, sinful, relational conduct.

When we focus on trying to please people by acting dysfunctionally, we are not serving God. If we are truly His servants, our primary goal will be to please Him.

When Jesus lived on earth, many who believed in Him would not admit their faith. Because these people were more concerned about people’s opinions than God’s, they did not live out their faith. Likewise, when we live as people pleasers, we are demonstrating the fact that we are more concerned about their approval than God’s…and our walk with him is hindered.

Today, ask yourself; What is my greatest perceived need or greatest perceived threat when someone makes a request of me…or I feel the need to act in a relationship. Who am I trying to please?...God or the person. Maybe most of your life is lived to please God, but there is still some situation…or some person…that sparks you to be a people-pleaser. God wants us to put Him first in all things…we cannot please Him by placing more importance on people’s opinions …and our needs… over His.
Click here to share your perspective about trying to please others.

Prayer
Dear Father God, , I do want to please you. Forgive me for the times I let my desire to be accepted by a person outweigh my desire to please you. Thank you for your love and for accepting me unconditionally. Help me to be a better servant. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who was the perfect servant, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
I am not trying to please people. I want to please God. Do you think I am trying to please people? If I were doing that, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

Many people did believe in him, however, including some of the Jewish leaders. But they wouldn’t admit it for fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.
John 12:42-43

Monday, May 31, 2010

Stepping Stones: “I’ll Only Do It This One Time”

Transformational Tip

Paul wrote the second chapter of Romans to Jewish readers who believed they had a special relationship to God because they knew and approved of the Law of God. Many believed this relationship made them above the Law, and they were not careful in their lifestyle. They excused behaviors that were wrong and trusted in their supposed privileged position to shield them from the consequences of their guilt.

It is never enough just to know and approve what is right. It is never enough to be a church member or to be born into a Christian family. Nothing has any meaning without a relationship with God that is alive and based on personal faith in Christ. In today's scripture, Paul is speaking to religious people who lack a living relationship with God.

Religious people are prone to rationalization. They have a strong belief system, but when their beliefs and behaviors conflict, they may resolve the internal conflict by excusing themselves. Many people are pro-life, but when it comes to an unwanted pregnancy in their own home, some are able to rationalize a pro-choice decision. Many oppose pornography and yet will allow themselves to indulge in secret. Nobody is above rationalizing and excusing sinful behaviors and attitudes.

People can rationalize sins like cheating on their taxes, lying, temper tantrums, gossiping, bitterness, controlling others, not accepting change, or having an affair. "Everyone does it." "I deserve it." "It does not really hurt anyone." "I'll only do it this one time."

Perhaps you have fallen into this rationalization trap. You know God’s Word. You say you believe it. And yet when it comes right down to your personal circumstances, you find a way to rationalize behavior that the The Holy Bible condemns. Hypocrisy? You bet!

Today, don’t rationalize or hide. Stop posing. Lead the transformed life Jesus died for you to live. Faith in Christ sets us free from sin. We cannot earn our way to heaven…Jesus is the only way. Following Jesus means building a personal relationship with Him. It isn't enough to know what the Bible says. God calls us into a relationship that should cause us to want to please Him.

We will all stumble and fall along the way, but a close walk with the Lord should cause us to repent and get back on the right path…restore our relationship with Him. Knowing and speaking the Word isn't enough…we must live it.

Click here to share your perspective about living God’s Word.

Prayer
Dear Father God, forgive me for reading your Word and then going my own way. I pray that you will fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that Your Word will become a living part of me and that I will live to please You. Help me apply Your instruction clearly in my life. I pray that my relationship with you will grow stronger and my desire to please You will grow. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who lived His Father’s Word, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
For merely listening to the law doesn't make us right with God. It is obeying the law that makes us right in his sight.
Romans 2:13

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Stepping Stones: Self-Deception Traps Your Thinking

Transformational Tip

What is a hypocrite? According to Webster, a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion, a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. In other words, a hypocrite pretends to be they aren’t. The definition doesn’t distinguish whether the deception is intentional or subconscious(unintentional).

The Bible teaches that a hypocrite is one who pretends to be pious without really being so…one who talks the talk without walking the walk. Jesus confronted hypocrites vigorously in His earthly ministry. The resultant anger generated by these confrontations of truth against this self-deception fueled the religious leaders' desire to kill Him.

A hypocrite knows what is right but makes elaborate excuses for himself and rationalizes why his behavior is allowable, when he does wrong. He weaves a web of self-deception that eventually traps his thinking and keeps him from seeing the truth about himself. He makes himself king and writes his own rules to stamp his conduct as permissible.

We all tend to condemn other people's actions and attitudes we know are wrong. At the same time, we are prone to excuse the same or worse behaviors in ourselves. We put on a good front and try to hide our real attitudes and feelings. We try to convince others…and even ourselves…that we are OK.

We might be able to fool others. We might even delude ourselves for a while. But God knows our hearts. He is not impressed by our outward displays of "being religious" or following the rules. He considers what we are inside... our motivators, desires, and fears.

Today, objectively examine whether you are putting up a good front but harboring sin in your life? Maybe the sin is something you are doing…participating in pornography, an adulterous relationship, angry outbursts, sharp words, or some other wrong behavior. Maybe it's hidden inside…fear, anxiety, insecurity, bitterness, envy, unforgiveness. Remember that whatever it is…God already knows. He loves you and wants to help you overcome. You can start on the path to ending the sinful behavior by admitting your guilt to yourself…and to Him. WITHIN REACH can then help you take the next steps of applying the Bible and allowing God into those deep places in your heart and life to transform your heart.
Click here to share your perspective about self-deception.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I know I've been living a lie. I also know that you see the real me--you see my heart. Please forgive my sin and give me the strength to overcome. Help me to be honest with You, with myself, and with others. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts.”
Luke 16:15

"You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy…full of greed and wickedness!"
Luke 11:39

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Stepping Stones: Your Call…Whose Instruction Book?

Transformational Tip

God loves us so much that he gives us the freedom to make choices. Some are of little consequence, but others are life-changing. This freedom of choice dates back to Adam and Eve. They made a one choice that went against God’s instruction book and sin entered the realm of mankind.

The freedom to make choices brings responsibility. We have all made poor choices at times and have suffered the consequences of those bad choices. The good news is that no matter what poor choices we may have made in the past, there is always hope for a better future. God knew that we would make some bad choices, but He loves us so much that He sent Jesus and Jesus willingly, His free will choice, paid the price for our sin to provide a way to restore our relationship with God.

Some people go through life carrying the load of some wrong choices they’ve made in the past. They believe they’ve messed up so badly that nothing good can ever come of their lives. Do you ever feel this way? Good news! If you want to be set free from the past, Jesus is the answer. He has already paid the price for your sin … for every wrong choice you’ve ever made.

Make a good decision now and accept His payment for your sin. God has always wanted to forgive you and help you make better choices from now on. That is why He sent His son, gives us the Holy Spirit to guide and empower us, and spells it all out in His instruction book, The Holy Bible.

It’s up to us…what decision are we going to make? To follow the greatest instruction book of all time, or to continually choose to write and follow our own very flawed instruction book. I

Today, remember, you are very special to God. He loves you no matter what you’ve done. He’s there for you. He wants you to put the past behind so that you can become all that He has designed you to be. It’s never to late to make good decisions. Learn from your mistakes…and look forward to a future filled with hope.
Click here to share your perspective about looking forward.

Prayer
Dear Father God, thank you for forgiving my sins. I’ve made so many wrong choices. Help me now to put them behind and to look forward to the future you have planned for me …one filled with hope… I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who has secured my future, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3:13-14

Friday, May 28, 2010

Stepping Stones: Did You Get a Brain Transplant?

Transformational Tip

As we come to Jesus and begin to understand who we are in Him, it is time to learn from the past, then put it behind, and move on ahead. Paul makes it clear in today’s scripture that he is on a journey. He knows he is not perfect, but he determines to forget what used to motivate him…forgetting his past achievements. He reaches forward…to become all Jesus wants him to be. He is moving in the right direction, toward Jesus…and he is not turning back.

That’s where we need to be, too. On a journey toward Jesus, to accomplishing His purpose for us. In the verse for today, Paul talks about forgetting. He is not talking about having amnesia for our past. Some Christians will tell you, “You are a new creation, don’t look at your past, only look forward.”

Now listen closely as this is a very important point that seems clear and silly when I say it, but it is a powerful point with many ramifications that clarify the process of a journey for the prize. Well, when we accepted Christ as our personal savior, we didn’t get a brain transplant. If we were totally transformed at that point of salvation, we would never have sinned again. How sad that as believers, we still do sin. So there must be something we have to do to allow the Holy Spirit to complete the job He is tasked with.

In order to allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us, one thing we need to do is look at how our past adversely influences our present decision-making. We need to forget the old motivations, goals, pursuits we once had…we want to stop conforming to the world’s system.

We need to focus on the Jesus and the goal. That will then form the transformed lenses we will use to take every thought captive and allow God to come in to those old areas of hurt. Then healing can occur…and truth will replace the ripples of distortion that Satan wants fogging our lenses.

Today, don’t ruminate about the past, but don’t ignore it as if you had a brain transplant. Your past is affecting your decisions now, so examine your decisions to understand how your past affects them. This will show you what is at the center of your heart. Your past will reveal why that is at the center of your heart and not God at times.
WITHIN REACH is our curriculum that helps you examine and understand your decision-making process to be a Godly decision-maker.
Click here to share your perspective about whether you had a brain transplant.

Prayer
Dear Father God, thank You for Your healing and forgiveness. Help me to truly leave my hurts and failures in the past and keep my eyes on Jesus as I move forward along the path You have for me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who has made everything right, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:12-14

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Stepping Stones: Overwhelming Victory is Yours!

Transformational Tip

Often, in the midst of a great day, all of a sudden, I will feel a cold, wet, blanket come over me. A memory from my past creeps into my mind…then it feels like all the goodness is gone. Shame, guilt, and regret instantly make my great day gloomy.

Perhaps you have suffered abuse from a parent or spouse or another “trusted” person. Maybe you have suffered a traumatic personal loss. Or perhaps you have made some poor choices in the past and are suffering the consequences. It doesn’t have to be a “major” trauma, either…most hurts for a 6 yo can be “traumatic.”

Read today’s scripture carefully; God promises that despite all these things, you can have overwhelming victory through Christ. Come to Him for help…and forgiveness. If you let Christ in, nothing …absolutely nothing…can separate you from His love. No reason all that stuff from the past should steal another minute of your joy and happiness. A victory doesn’t just mean to win…it means a decisive win…a win that leaves no doubt.

Sometimes it is easy to look at scriptures about God’s love and think, Yes, God loves all people. But in our innermost being we don’t include ourselves in the “all people.” We think I’m different…I’m just not good enough…That’s alright for other people, but I’ve made too many mistakes. I’ve got special circumstances. It’s too late for me.

But God’s Word makes it abundantly clear that you are included. No matter what you have done. No matter what other people say or think about you. No matter what you think about yourself. God loves you. Jesus died for you. Nothing will ever separate you from His love.

Today, stop when you experience struggle. Tell yourself “God loves me and proved it” then consider how that changes your view of the moment. Walk with Jesus and you can have overwhelming victory over every problem and obstacle in your life. The problems might still be there…the obstacles may still come. But you won’t have to face them alone or be defeated by them…God will give you the strength to overcome.
Click here to share your perspective about your victory.

Prayer
Dear Father God, thank You that these promises are not just for other people…but they are really for me. Thank You for your unconditional love. Thank You that no matter what has happened in the past or comes my way in the future, I can walk in victory through Jesus. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who made my victory possible, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow…not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below…indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Stepping Stones: How Do You See Yourself?

Transformational Tip

Throughout her high school years, my youngest daughter volunteered at a shelter for abused women and their children. Through her work there I was exposed to how prevalent and devastating domestic abuse is in America.

Abuse takes many forms…but it is always devastating. In the United States alone, three to four million women are battered each year by their husbands or partners. While three million reports of child abuse are made every year just in the United States…experts estimate that the actual number of incidents of abuse and neglect is three times greater than reported. Many children are suffering from a hidden epidemic of child abuse and neglect. While these are US figures, the these problems exist around the world and in most places, at much higher rates.

Abuse, whether physical or verbal, erodes confidence and self-esteem. We begin believing what we are told about ourselves; we think that anyone treated so violently and abusively must deserve it. These beliefs are often accepted early in life and become part of the initial lenses through which all information is seen and processed. Even if abuse occurs when we are older, the intensity of the experience makes it a formidable opponent to positive self-image.

Abuse communicates “you are worthless”…”you are an object to be used by me whenever I want”…”dignity, respect, and honor are not for you”…”I am always more important than you”. These distortions and interpretations form part of the foundation we build the rest of our life on.

Today, ask “How do I see myself? Is my self-image based on other people’s words and actions toward me? Or is it based on the truth of God’s Word? God knew you before you were even born. He created you…and His works are wonderful. Let Jesus help us take our eyes off ourselves and begin the process of putting our eyes on Him; He is able to heal our eyes, to see ourselves clearly as He sees us.
Click here to share your perspective about abuse and self-image.

Prayer
Dear Father God, thank You for this reminder that You formed me and made me…and that Your works are wonderful. I must admit, though, sometimes I don’t feel as though I’m wonderful at all. In fact, sometimes I feel as though I don’t deserve anything good. Help me to really grasp what Jesus did for me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

For this people's heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them.' But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear.
Matthew 13:15,16

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Stepping Stones: You are never alone!

Transformational Tip

The other day, I had a very difficult decision to make. The initial sense that came to me was isolation and loneliness. Not really sensing anyone around to help me. I was in it alone and had to bear the burden and responsibility for the decision all myself.

It seems like whenever I am in the midst of one of life’s storms, I have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness…of being alone. I can be standing in the middle of a crowded room and yet feel completely alone.

We have all experienced loneliness. So many people feel as though they are alone most of the time. They often feel that no one cares or understands…as though even God is distant and unavailable. Like He is punishing me for not pursuing Him…or when I was a kid, I just thought He had way more important things than my trivial frustrations.

Now, when I am feeling alone, I look in the Bible for the truth.

You may feel alone, but the truth is that God is always with you. Here are just a few of his promises: I am with you (Genesis 28:15). I walk with you (Leviticus 26:12). I am near you (Psalm 34:18). I hold your right hand (Isaiah 41:13). I carry you even into old age (Isaiah 46:4).

Then I try to uncover my issues, distortions, or misinterpretations that would influence me to jump first to the lie that God is not right there with me at my side.

Today, you can be encouraged by reading these scriptures and others like them. Write your favorites down and put them where you see them all the time. Speak them aloud. Substitute your name for the word you. God says, I am with (your name)…I walk with (your name)…I am near (your name).

God is speaking these promises to you personally. Remember…you are never alone. Jesus is with you. He is with you this moment. He will be with you tonight…and tomorrow. He will be with you through the good times and bad. He will never leave you.

Click here to share your perspective about feeling alone.

Prayer

Dear Father God, thank You for Your many promises to be with me…always. Help me believe Your promises more than I believe my feelings. I pray Father for all those within the Stepping Stones community who feel they are alone. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who is always with me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
The LORD is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.
Psalm 34:18

Monday, May 24, 2010

Stepping Stones: Even if no one else existed…

Transformational Tip

Do you sometimes feel as though you are fighting your way through life and losing the battle? That you are such a failure that no one can help you?

We've probably all had these feelings at times. And if you suffer from chronic depression like so many people, you might feel alone and hopeless most of the time. When well-meaning people try to cheer you up by pointing out your good qualities, you may hear what they are saying as either false praise or else as words of one who doesn't really know you that well.

There is someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Someone who wants to give you hope and help you win the battle. His name is Jesus. He promises you peace (John 14:27). He intercedes to God the Father for you (John 17:9). He promises to work all things for your good (Romans 8:28). He rides on the Heavens to help you (Deuteronomy 33:26).

You may say, "Those promises sound good for someone else, but they couldn't be for me. I don't deserve them. You don't know me." This may be true … but Jesus DOES know you. And He loves you. If no one else had existed, He would have died on the cross just for you. He loves you that much. None of us deserves that kind of love, but Jesus gives it freely and unconditionally.

Today, actually use this truth in how you view yourself and your circumstances. Write down who you are and why you believe that. Are those beliefs based on facts? Above all else…Let Him love you. Open your heart to the hope and healing that come only from Him.

Click here to share your perspective about Jesus’ unconditional love for you and your ability to receive it and believe it.

Prayer
Dear Father God, thank You for loving me unconditionally. Thank You for dying for me. When I'm feeling down, help me to remember Your love for me, to experience Your love, and to share Your love with others. I pray to You, Father, for all those in the world today that suffer from depression. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who knows me better than I know myself, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:19