Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Stepping Stones: The Invisible Walls of Prejudice

February 29, 2012

Transformational Thought


I have been blessed to travel to Kenya, Uganda, and Iraq. When I preached in Kenya, I was the only white person in a church of 500! And this summer I will lead a team of 6, including two of my daughters, into Uganda. These unique mission trips have been some of the Super Bowl highlights of my life. Why is this so surprising? Because I grew up surrounded by prejudice and was a mega-bigot. Evidence of God’s power is His ability to transform my sinful attitude so that now I can actually connect with and help my African and Middle Eastern brothers and sisters overcome their prejudices and conflicts.

Yesterday, we opened up the topic of prejudice and discussed some of the causes and harmful effects of prejudicial thinking and decisions. Most of us tend to pre-judge people based on how they look or dress, what their family members are like, how they talk, stereotypes built by the media of particular social, economic or ethnic groups, and on many other superficial and erroneous characteristics.

There is danger in rejecting or misjudging someone because they are different from us. First of all, the Bible tells us that prejudice is a sin, one that blocks our ability to love others as God wants us to. We could even miss blessings from God, both in this world and in the eternal one, by rejecting strangers due to prejudice. People made this same mistake when they rejected Jesus as the promised Messiah and King. Because Jesus did not come in the way they expected a king to come, they erroneously judged Him as a liar and heretic, and they crucified Him.

We can also miss an opportunity to bless others, or to be blessed by them and God when we allow walls of prejudice, even subtle ones, to build. We may overlook an opportunity to help someone find Jesus. We ourselves may lose an opportunity to find Jesus more clearly or to know Him on a deeper level. Don’t put the other person, yourself, or especially God in a box that limits capabilities and impact.

These walls are made from our bricks of ignorance, insecurity, and lack of trust in God … lacking trust in His power and sovereignty. Allowing God into these areas will clean our prejudicial lenses, allowing us to see people as God truly sees them.

Today, ask God to help you identify the walls you have built around yourself and recognize how they interfere with your ability to see and engage with people the way God wants you to. Examine yourself and your heart. What are some of the wounds and fears that smudge your lenses as God brings different people into your life? You can begin removing those barriers between yourself and others. Ask Him to help you look on the inside and see people as He does. Only then can the love of Jesus flow freely through you to everyone He brings your way. WITHIN REACH will help you search yourself and your past to identify and heal those wounds and distortions. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
O Gracious God, I do want the love of Jesus to flow freely through me to every person You place in my life. Forgive me for sometimes blocking this flow when I judge others by outward appearances. I know I have wounds and distorted lenses. Give me courage to overcome my fears and insecurities. Help me see myself through Your lenses so I don’t need to look down on others to feel important in this world. Help me clear my vision so I can see each individual as You do and respond to them with Your love. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who sees all the best in me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.
James 2:8-9

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Stepping Stones: Prejudice Means to “Pre-Judge”

February 28, 2012

Transformational Thought


Once when my oldest daughters were about 7 and 5, we went on our monthly Saturday morning date to McDonalds. After sitting down, a tattooed, pierced girl, heavy with make-up and funky colored hair, and wearing a McDonald’s uni and cap jumped into our booth right next to my girls. Their eyes popped out and their jaws dropped. The girl then loudly cried, “Dr. Benzio, look at me. I’m off drugs, I got a job, I’m back in school, and I broke up with that loser boyfriend you warned me about. Thank you so much for giving my life back to me!” Then she smiled at the girls and asked, “Are these yours? They are so lucky.” Needless to say, they didn’t feel lucky because they were so scared. Why? Because they pre-judged.

Prejudice can creep into our lives without our awareness of what is happening. Sometimes it's so subtle, we don't recognize it. We might choose one cashier's line over another because of race, a tattoo, clothes, or general appearance. In church or any public gathering, we may select seats next to people who "look like us." The flip side can also happen, like assuming that people with power or wealth are unapproachable by anyone not in their league. But this, too, is judgment based on prejudice, not on fact.

Prejudice shows a lack of respect for another person. You see, based on one general characteristic, you are saying you know a person without ever hearing their unique story. You are rejecting them based on that one attribute. It is lazy and disrespectful to yourself as well, but mostly it is disrespectful to God and His sovereignty. Pre-judging puts others in a box, limiting who they are … who they can become. It also puts you in a box, limiting what you are able to be, to learn, or imagine about yourself. And most importantly, pre-judging really limits God and puts Him in a box … denying His power to fully transform hearts and individuals. You are telling God you can predict the other person’s character and future … saying God has no plan for them.

People are people … no matter what their skin color, economic status, education, style, nationality or neighborhood. We all want to be loved and respected by others. We all experience painful times and good times. We all want to be understood. But because of our insecurities … our need to be important … we put others down to give the perception that we are better than we really are. Instead, we need to look to God to grow us see ourselves as equal heirs in His kingdom.

Have you ever experienced the brunt of prejudice? If so, you understand the hurt it can bring. Ask God to use that experience to teach you to lay aside all prejudice towards others and, when possible, take time getting to know the real person in front of you. Let’s ask God to teach us to look at their heart.

Today, stop and notice why you think or relate to someone the way you do. Is it because you pre-judged, or is it based on data this person actually revealed to you? One of the biggest reasons we don’t witness to others very much is our prejudicial ideas about that person. Don’t prejudge. Enjoy the experience of asking questions and getting to know someone God loves, someone He put into your life for a reason. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, Help me remember that people are people. Help me not to look down on anyone … or to be intimidated by anyone. You are the great equalizer. Jesus died for every person. Every person needs forgiveness. Every person needs Jesus. In my relationships with others, help me move past the outward appearance and see the heart. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One You sent to save everyone, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart
1 Samuel 16:7

And a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” And He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” And he answered, “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” And He said to him, “You have answered correctly; DO THIS AND YOU WILL LIVE.” But wishing to justify himself, he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied and said, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead. “And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. “Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. “But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, and came to him and bandaged up his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. “On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’ “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?” And he said, “The one who showed mercy toward him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.”
Luke 25-37
(I love this story so I put the whole passage! This is what Lighthouse Network strives to do daily)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Stepping Stones: The Dangerous Sin of Nearness

February 27, 2012

Transformational Thought


Before we make a sinful decision, a series of circumstances occurs that makes temptation harder to resist. As temptations start to build we do have the power to change situations in which fertile circumstances influence us to sin. When we choose to stick with those tempting circumstances instead of turning away, we are guilty of the sin-before-the-sin … of getting too close, the point of seemingly no return. Think of it as the sin of nearness.

The sin-before-the-sin involves the little decisions that set us up for temptation plus the fateful “final step”, which is the decision to commit the sinful act itself. If we are to overcome the strongholds in our lives that constantly pull us in the wrong direction, we have to come to a place of obedience. The dirty word is DISCIPLINE! It’s much easier to make the decision now before the pressure begins to rise. We need to do everything possible to act while we have our maximum control, instead of waiting until our control seemingly dwindles, which is when sin occurs. We all know what these occasions look like.

You know what your stronghold is … a substance, caffeine, alcohol, work, gossip, sarcasm …. If Satan has a stronghold in your heart regarding food, then be aware of how you are feeding the supply lines of that stronghold. When you decide to stop at the fast food place, walk into the kitchen, or open the refrigerator door, you make it easier to be tempted to sin. Resisting these earlier steps cuts off the supply lines and weakens Satan’s strongholds over time. That is why it gets easier each time you resist temptation.

Failing to eliminate stumbling blocks that lead to sin is a serious issue for many of us. Sexual temptation has presented itself to most of us at some time in our lives. Today's scripture advises us to run from sexual sin. When you get close to sexual temptation, the flesh lights up. With sexual sin, the longer we are in the presence of temptation the less likely we are to escape without sinning. It is so much better to avoid the sin before the sin… to run from the sin of nearness. Don’t turn on the computer in an isolated place; don’t touch yourself; move that sexual image out of your head; stop fantasizing; look away from cleavage; don’t start that conversation. Jesus warns that when you lust, you are committing adultery.

The closer we get to the fleshly sensations of the sinful act, the harder it is to resist, especially when we are feeling down, lonely, bored, sad, overwhelmed, out of control, powerless, fill-in-the-blank for the feeling that cripples your ability to run from the sin of nearness.

Today, take notice of the small decisions that lead up to the actual wrong decision. Draw a little map or timeline, so you can see the options you had that would have taken you on a different course before you made the sinful decision itself. Resist the sin of nearness to cut off the supply lines and strangle those strongholds Satan has in your life. Stay in fellowship with Jesus. Turn to Him for the strength and discernment you need. With Him, you can do all things. Life is your decision, so choose well. Edging Forward helps you cut those supply lines.

Prayer
Dear Father God, help me notice the many warnings and opportunities you give me to turn away as I walk down the path to sin. Help me recognize the stumbling blocks. Help me be a better steward of the “little” decisions that lead up to the “bigger” decisions. I can only do this through submission to Your Holy Spirit guiding me in Your wisdom and empowering my action. Especially help me to run from all temptation that leads to sexual sin. Help me to run away from this sin and toward You. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One You sent to teach me how to resist temptation, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Stepping Stones: I Just Don’t Have What It Takes…

February 25-26, 2012

Transformational Thought

When we are dealing with a life-controlling problem … whether it is a behavior, thought pattern, or feeling … we may begin to think, "What's the use? I'll never overcome this. I've tried … and failed … again and again. I just don't have what it takes to get things right." Or “I’ve tried so many times and never get anywhere.” Or two common ones I hear when patients come into my office for a psychiatric evaluation, “You know doc, I’ve tried so many times to change, but I guess this is the way God made me and I am stuck like this,” and “This is the way I was born and there is no escaping it.”

And you know what? All these statements are true. We probably don't have what it takes. Step 1 of AA got it right: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (insert whatever habit or pattern you struggle with)—that our lives had become unmanageable. Then follows Step 2: We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Good news! We know this Power: Jesus. The real Big Book, The Holy Bible, promises us that we can do all things … through Christ. If we are willing to commit our lives to Him, He will give us the wisdom, strength, and most of all, the courage we need to do what is right. He will guide us on the right path. And He often sends other people to help us along the way.

But growth doesn’t just happen overnight and never happens randomly. Satan has a strategy to defeat us, so in order to experience growth, we need a strategy to fight back. This is what we call the sanctification process or our spiritual journey. What strategy do you usually use? How intentional are you? How is it working?

To develop a strategy to receive this strength from Christ, we first need to admit that we need help. We need to be honest with ourselves, with Him, and with others. We need to take off our masks of self-sufficiency and get real. We must quit using our own instruction manual and start using His for all of life’s situations. Start seeing life through the Godly lenses of His Holy Bible. That’s what transformed my life, and it can certainly transform yours also.

Today, if you’re dealing with a problem that seems hopeless … take the first step. Admit you need help. Then, ask God for His plan. Ask him for strength through Christ. Admit to safe and caring people that you need help. WITHIN REACH: Disciplines for Real Life Change is a great resource giving you a concrete strategy to apply the Bible (Best Instruction Book for Living Everyday) to your daily living. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I've been trying everything I know to overcome my problem, but nothing seems to work for the long run. I need … and desire Your strength and guidance. Help me to be honest about my need for help by sharing with those You send to help me. Help me remember that I can succeed … through Christ. But I need to know how to apply that. Help me learn to apply Your word to my life, minute by minute, instead of using my own understanding. I pray this and all prayers through the One whom You sent to compensate for all my shortcomings, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
Proverbs 3:5-8

Friday, February 24, 2012

Stepping Stones: Time to Take Down the Walls!

February 24, 2012

Transformational Thought


The dog days of winter will hopefully be coming to an end soon. Some of you have already made summer reservations, are looking at options, or just wishing you were in the warm sun somewhere. No matter how you imagine summer, a refreshing pool is a necessity. Whether you are cooling off, exercising, playing some family games, or just relaxing, pools are great focal points for cool memories. If you went south this winter, you know exactly what I mean.

Have you ever tried to hold a large inflated toy under water? It’s really hard work. It almost can’t be done because the air-filled toy wants to forcibly rise to the surface. Unless you have pressure on all points of the inflatable, which is impossible with only two hands, the areas left unopposed will quickly push to the surface.

Unfortunately, we play this same game with our feelings, many times trying to hold them below the surface. When we stuff our feelings, it is like trying to hold an inflatable under water. Many times, we work even harder to keep our true feelings out of view. And by doing this, we build walls around our real selves and around the problems we struggle with.

We often think walls are protective, but these walls are destructive to the psychological and spiritual growth we are striving for. These self-constructed walls cause us to isolate ourselves from other people … and even from God. Walls also hide us from the truth about a problem that has a hold on us. The walls we build are called coping skills or defense mechanisms. Defenses can take many forms: rationalization, humor, blame, denial. Have you said something like "What I did isn't so bad," or "You don't understand the pressure I'm under," or “She yelled first,” or “It’s in the past, let’s move on.” Sound familiar?

We've all used defenses like these to cover the truth. Understanding where and how our feelings play into our decision-making system is usually a mystery to most of us. Because we are afraid and uneducated about our emotions, we find many ways to hide from them. But God and Jesus expressed many emotions, ranging from joy to jealousy. So our feelings, all of them, must serve a purpose and should not be pushed down.

When we hide behind defenses, we are attempting to hide the truth about ourselves and our situation … from God … other people … and even from ourselves. We are also blinding ourselves from the truth of God's Word. And yet, our only answer is in the truth … because the truth will set us free from our fears and our walls.

Today, try to identify a feeling you push down and hide from others. Ask yourself why. What do you fear happening if you exposed that feeling to others? Assess the benefits of these walls … walls that you hoped would defend you ... walls that in reality are blocking your road to freedom. It is important to recognize those walls and begin to tear them down. But remember, you can't tear them down all at once. Building them was a process, and so is tearing them down. It's done by being honest with God, with yourself, and with others (but in a Godly way). It's done by learning to trust the truth of the Bible more than your feelings. WITHIN REACH will help you understand and utilize your emotions wisely. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I realize I've been trying to hide the truth by building walls around myself. I've rationalized. I've pointed the finger at others. I've denied. But the truth is that I need Your help. Help me to be honest with You, with others … and with myself. Help me to depend on the truth of Your Word more than on my feelings. Help me to tear down the walls. I pray this and all prayers through the One You sent to help me remove my defenses, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without protection.
Proverbs 25:28

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Stepping Stones: Do You Know Who You Are?

February 23, 2012

Transformational Thought


An amazing turning point in my life occurredwhen God woke me up to realize I spent 25 years of my life building up and hiding behind defenses. These defenses gave me an illusion that I was protected and in control, but in reality, I was just getting more endangered and farther out of control.

When we hide behind self-built defenses, we may have a sense that we are in control. We tell ourselves that we're holding our feelings in check, avoiding conflict, stepping around sticky situations. But in reality we are not in control at all. Our problems and need to avoid discomfort have been at the wheel steering the course of life. We’ve pushed away the people who really care about us and could really help us. We’ve put off growing useful skills to strategically attack adversity head-on. And we've allowed our problem, our situation, to take control. It’s the proverbial “slippery slope” to destruction.

This is exactly where Satan wants us. We buy into his lie that these defenses are self-protective. The reality is that they are actually self-destructive, both immediately and down the road. In this spiritual battle, when we try to defend ourselves from our own strength, our defenses become allies of the enemy. Only when we allow our defensive walls to crumble and really start living through the power of the Holy Spirit and the instruction of The Holy Bible, can we begin to practice true self-control … choosing and acting on the basis of who we are in Christ and relying on all the strength, guidance, and wisdom God has promised and will provide.

Most of our defenses are born from needless or exaggerated fear, from not knowing the truth about the spiritual realities of life, and not knowing the spiritual weapons at our disposal to fight our own “demons” and Satan’s evil forces.

But know that, because of and through Christ …
You are redeemed - paid for at a great price. (Ephesians 1:7)
You are forgiven - your sin as far as condemnation, has been forgotten. (Psalm 103:12)
You are strong and capable - you can do everything through Christ. (Philippians 4:13)
You are a conqueror - an overcomer. (Romans 8:37)

Today, examine your areas of stress. Do you let your circumstances or your feelings control you? Do your defenses, that is, your coping mechanisms, help you … or do they just act as knee-jerk bridges to the next stressor? Build your defenses on Biblical principles, not just to escape your stressor, but to shine and be strengthened by that very stressor. Know yourself and be seen as God sees you … the Bible makes it clear who you are as a Christian. Why, when under pressure, do you have trouble believing how God sees you? Why are you turning to worldly answers for your spiritual yearnings? Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, Help me to stop hiding behind my self-built, self-destructive defenses. Help me to see myself as You do because of Christ: redeemed, forgiven, strong, capable, and an overcomer. I know I get sucked into my old way of thinking, cringe at adversity, and get complacent during good times. Help me remember always what a great price Jesus paid at the cross so that I could have this new identity. I pray this and all prayers through the One whom You sent to pay for my new identity, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us.
Romans 8:37

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Stepping Stones: What Does Your T-Shirt Say?

February 22, 2012

Transformational Thought

“No Fear” printed across t-shirts. Bumper stickers that question authority. Television programs encouraging disrespect and rebellion. Movies that trivialize God and make fun of Christians. More drastic indicators of rebellion … abortion, physician-assisted suicide, euthanasia, child abuse, and domestic violence. Sadly, these are all signs of our times.

Because of our me-centered nature, we have become so caught up in our need to be in charge, to be the all-knowing one, to protect our needs and comfort above all else, and to have our agenda be the course of events, that we have lost sight of the only real authority that is worthy of our respect and reverence. Satan certainly wants to push that me-centered mentality and we get sucked easily into his strategies and traps.

Respect, reverence, and fear have become offensive words in our society. A lack of concern or respect for each other or for anyone in authority has led to disorganization, relativism, rebellion, immorality, hatred, and even bloodshed. This lack of respect for mankind and other distorted attitudes about people and life can be traced to a lack of knowledge about God and a lack of true reverence for Him. To reverence the Lord means not only treating God and His message with awe and wonder, but also having a fear of being out of His will and not having His protection, guidance, and blessings.

What are some ways we can show our respect and reverence for God? Noah did it by persevering in obedience for 100 years building an ark, even during very difficult circumstances. The lives of Joseph and Daniel are great testimonies of reverence and respect for God when it would have been “easier” to cave in to another master. On the other hand we can be like Jonah, and run the other way, even to the point of almost killing ourselves when God has a plan for us that doesn’t quite match the one we drew up with our finite wisdom, and minimal thought and planning.

Today, begin to put God first in your life … to have regular devotional times with Him … to live your day-to-day life in a way that honors Him. In the activities of this day, today, are you respecting and honoring God’s provision, authority, and instruction for your life? Each of us can define one area of life in which we are not honoring Him. Dissect it a bit today. Why are you ignoring His instruction and going in the other direction? Make one small change in your strategy and see what happens. People who don't know Jesus often judge Him by what they see in His followers. What do they learn about Jesus from your life? What message is on your t-shirt? Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and my Lord, It is my desire and goal to please You in everything I do. I know I have fallen short of this goal. Please help me to consistently live in such a way that others will sense Your love, and will honor You and want to know You. Help them see me honoring Your way and experiencing the blessings and fruit it brings me so that they yearn for You. Help me confess aloud when I do wrong to someone, so they see what Your way really is. I pray this and all prayers through your Son and my savior, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:16

Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
Colossians 3:22-25

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the LORD your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.”
Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Stepping Stones: Why Are You In My Life?

February 21, 2012

Transformational Thought


Do you ever wonder about the people who come into your life? All kinds … the person in line with you at the store … an acquaintance from some social circle … a friend from school … family members you share many experiences with … a colleague at work. The number of people is amazing, even for those of us who avoid relationships, God continually brings people into our lives.

Sometimes, if you are lucky … truly blessed … you have someone enter your life who changes it forever. A special person delivering God’s, mercy, grace, and unconditional love … right to the doorstep of your heart.

Well, I am one of those lucky people. Twenty three years ago, when I was stuck at some significant crossroads in my life, God showed up when I least expected it. Today is Fat Tuesday, and on Fat Tuesday of 1989, right in the middle of New Orleans at a Mardi Gras party, I met and fell in love with the most beautiful person in the world. Love at first sight!

Wow! His gift to me was, and still is, incredibly beautiful on the outside. She still revs my engines, but that is a different devotional. But the amazing part is who she is on the inside. You see, I was running away from God, and with all apologies to my New Orleans friend, I thought Mardi Gras in New Orleans was the last place God would find me. While I was in such personal and spiritual need for God to show up, He did - through my wife, Martine. Her unconditional love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and sacrifice have been so powerful to me … freeing me from my personal demons and allowing me to see God’s majesty in her and through her.

Since then, my engagement and growth with God have been unbelievable and He has transformed my life. I wish I could say I am the perfect husband … or even a good husband, but unfortunately, that is the area where I still need the most growth. So, thank you so much, God, and thank you, Martine, so much for what you have done for me.

Today, think about those God has put in YOUR life. Are you there to influence them? Then do it. Have they been a profound influence on you? Then thank God for them and thank them … a lot. Do something special for them ASAP. God does show up and speak to us, and often it’s in the form of circumstances and the people He brings in those circumstances. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Oh God, Thank You so much for not giving up on me even though I strayed and tried life my own way. All the grace and protection You provided still astounds and humbles me. Then to bring me an incredible gift, my Martine, I am speechless. Please strengthen me and help me have the courage to resist my selfish desires and really love and serve her … for that will honor You, her, and me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who loved perfectly and fully, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
2 Corinthians 5:20

Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you."
John 20:21

And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."
Mark 16:15

Monday, February 20, 2012

Stepping Stones: Love One Another Through The Conflict

February 20, 2012

Editor’s Note: Today we celebrate Stepping Stones’ 3rd birthday and thanks to you, 7,200 people get Stepping Stones emailed each day. We estimate over 15-20,000 receive it each day through Facebook and the web. We get great encouragement and testimonials from you daily and we thank you so much. Please email us with your comments about how Stepping Stones impacts you or how we can improve. Let’s shoot for 10,000 by our 4th birthday, but we need your help by forwarding this to your loved ones.

Transformational Thought

Conflict, such a powerful word … it conjures up many different feelings and tapes in our head. If someone in the Stepping Stones community had a positive thought when I mentioned conflict, I will give them a copy of Edging Forward for free! But in today’s scripture, Paul exhorts believers to agree with one another, to love each other, and to work together with one mind and purpose. The attitude and action plan Paul proposes is in opposition to the message about conflict I picked up at home and the culture I grew up in.

Jesus’ last instructions, moments before he ascended to heaven, leave no doubt about what the church is to be doing: “And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

If we are to be effective witnesses as Christians, we need to work together with one mind and purpose - the mind of Christ. Our witness can be hurt … and even destroyed … if we are consumed by pride as evidenced by bickering, gossip, stinginess, and other habits that can only lead to strife and division. We need to set aside personality conflicts, social differences, cliquishness, and anything else that divides us and keeps us from accomplishing the purpose God has for us and for those to whom we minister to on His behalf.

Conflict is obviously more complex than this, but a “my kingdom come, my will be done” instead of “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done mentality” is the key ingredient that steers the process to a fleshly demise instead of a God-glorifying experience.

Many excuses allow us to cringe, fall back, and avoid working through a conflict with another person. Don’t fall into the laziness trap. We all have either an addiction to or a need for comfort in the face of difficult but important decisions. In the long run avoiding the conflict will be more harmful to you than the temporary uneasiness you’ll feel while trying to solve the conflict. Just think, all of your rewarding relationships took big steps forward when you were able to navigate a conflict with that person. The collaboration, trust, forgiveness, and identification of a shared goal were monumental rewards from that conflict.

Today, think of an area in your life in which you are experiencing division with a sister or brother in Christ. Are you putting Christ in the center? Your greatest need should be to please God and honor Him, not ease your own discomfort, guilt, or ego. Specifically acknowledge an incident or situation where you have failed in the area of relationship. Prayerfully examine how pride might be playing a role in the division. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and my Lord, Please forgive me for sometimes allowing pride or other wrongful attitudes to lead to division with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Help me to do my part to walk in unity so that we all are effective witnesses for Jesus, accomplishing what You have called us to do. Help me build courage to withstand the pain, hurt, or anger I sometimes feel in conflicts, knowing You can provide more to me in that pain than in the good times. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the perfect witness, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.
Philippians 2:2

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Stepping Stones: How Selective is Your Club?

February 18-19, 2012

Transformational Thought


So many clubs exist that have very specific criteria for membership … the Italian Club … civic clubs like Rotary, Lions, and Kiwanis … Masons … country clubs … labor unions … political parties. Some companies are selective, as are the Pittsburgh Steelers or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Colleges, med schools, the military … even families have criteria and selection processes for membership by marriage.

In today's world, harmony and tolerance have become goals unto themselves. Peace at any cost … All ways lead to God … Live and let live. Such "tolerant" attitudes actually lead to intolerance of anyone who claims to have the answer or truth. Religions or moral “clubs,” or groups with a certain belief seem to be treated differently. Their criteria or a selection process seems to be intolerable.

Jesus made it clear that He is the only way to God, the only way to real peace. In Isaiah 9:6 He is called the Prince of Peace. God calls us to love all people, but agreeing that other faiths can lead to God just so we can seek unity and “peace” is to deny our own faith … the teachings of God, the existence and work of Jesus, and the Holy Bible. And in doing so, we deny Jesus as our Savior. As Christians, we are not expressing Christ-like love when we accept as OK the beliefs of those who deny Christ or who live sinful lifestyles … all for the sake of unity and peace. The Bible is clear about God, Jesus, and moral issues.

The double standard for “clubs” really shows me the existence, power, and agenda of Satan, Satan wants people to believe being nice is all you need to do to be Holy, thus engaging with God by avoiding Christ. Satan wants to push the idea that we can connect with God on our own power, through our efforts. This is why we get stuck on the law and legalism, and have difficulty absorbing God’s gracious gift of forgiveness.

Today, begin expressing Jesus' love by loving people where they are, by building relationships with them and, as the Holy Spirit leads, by sharing the truths of the Gospel with them. Jesus is the only answer. Don’t let anybody guilt you into thinking Christianity is the only club with intolerant selection criteria. Show them how compassion and rigidity can co-exist.

Prayer
My Father, Help me never to deny my faith by accepting the unscriptural beliefs of others for the sake of unity and peace. Help me love others, no matter what their faith. Help me love them enough to build relationships with them. As the Holy Spirit leads, help me to share the truth of the Gospel with them … and to do so with love. Help me communicate in a manner that leads all to understand that Jesus is the only way. I pray this and all prayers through the One you sent to show us the way, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."
John 14:6

Then Darius the king wrote to all the peoples, nations and men of every language who were living in all the land: “May your peace abound! I make a decree that in all the dominion of my kingdom men are to fear and tremble before the God of Daniel; For He is the living God and enduring forever, And His kingdom is one which will not be destroyed, And His dominion will be forever. He delivers and rescues and performs signs and wonders in heaven and on earth, Who has also delivered Daniel from the power of the lions.”
Daniel 6:25-27

Friday, February 17, 2012

Stepping Stones: One Step at a Time…It’s a Journey

February 17, 2012

Transformational Thought


Some days are so busy, hectic … actually crazy. The world keeps on coming at me … phone calls, requests, glitches in the plan, mail, extra bills, problems, new opportunities … these never seem to slow down. In fact, as I get older, the demands on me come faster. Feelings and perspectives of being so far behind wrap their fingers around my neck easily … slowly choking me.

For some people, there are occasional days when the grip is so tight, things seem hopeless. For others, there’s an endless string of helpless or hopeless days. It’s hard to experience and visualize that these hopeless feelings or days will ever end. Some of the problem is how we measure being “behind” or “ahead.” We often get sucked into the world’s standard or metrics. We have limited control over some of the demands coming our way. So how can we actually measure progress against something we can’t control?

What we do control is how we respond to what comes our way … and that’s how we should measure progress. The answer is to measure how well your response to the demands and twists of life is rooted in being focused on God. He will bring peace, comfort and answers, and walk with you through the busyness and demands. He promises to be your guide along the journey, so measure how well you follow your guide, not how many paths you have to choose from.

Ask God to clear your thinking and remove any obstacles that may exist in your relationship with Him. Perhaps you have made some poor decisions or used bad judgment. God is there to forgive you and help you get back on track. Your past always wants to interfere with your present decisions, but it doesn’t have to. Whether or not it gets in the way is determined by how intentional you are in examining and doing something about it.

Today and every day, remind yourself that life is a journey … a series of steps. Identify 2 paths you take that cause you problems. Remember that you can create the environment for change, but God does the changing. You don’t have to keep going down the same paths that lead to trouble. And the Bible assures us that with Him, all things are possible. Let Him be your guide. WITHIN REACH helps you apply His guidance to every decision you make today. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and my Lord, Thank You for being my constant guide. Help me be sensitive … and obedient … to Your guidance. Give me eyes that see and ears that hear Your leading … Your nudging … Your encouragement. Also, when I am off course and on dangerous detours, let me be open to Your will to redirect me back on track even if You need to forcibly push me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One You sent to teach me, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and he will guide us until we die."
Psalm 48:14

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Stepping Stones: Accomplishments and Failures…or Jesus?

February 16, 2012

Transformational Thought

We all have done things we wish we could take back. Maybe we've lived a sinful lifestyle, been selfish and unkind, made parenting mistakes, said hurtful things to a loved one, or just experienced a lot of failure in life. Maybe we still struggle with relationships, anxieties, guilt, shame, and “what ifs”. On the other hand, maybe we've lived a pretty good life and achieved a high level of success. We really like being defined by that. We like feeling good about what we've done. We are energized by the praise and admiration of others. Maybe we really love helping others.

But you know what? Our accomplishments aren't really that impressive to God. He sees our hearts. He knows that they are not always pure. Praise God that He doesn't define us by what we've done … regardless of how good or bad it’s been. He judges us by whether we accept what Christ did for us. He knows that we need Jesus. And we need to know that too.

He died on the cross so that the penalty for sin could be paid and our sins could be forgiven. And when we believe and accept the sacrifice he made for us, we are cleansed. Then God sees us as though we have never sinned! And that's our new identity … a follower of Christ, clothed in His righteousness.

You see, we know we have made mistakes, but since we’ve done a bunch of good things, and we can do more, we underestimate the big gap between us and HOLY. We can never, no matter how hard and long we try, absolutely never make up the gap between ourselves and God.

We can't do enough to earn our way … that's why we need Jesus. We are defined not by our accomplishments or failures, but by who we are in Christ. All the accomplishments in the world don't mean a thing when it comes to getting right with God and spending eternity with Him.

Today, if you are not a fully committed follower of Christ, you can make that decision right now. No matter what your past … no matter how good or bad your behavior ... you need Jesus. He loves you and is reaching out to you right now. Do you want to meet Him? Just tell Him that you know you need Him ... and that you want to follow Him. Why wouldn’t you want Jesus in your life? He is ready ... are you? Your decision, and this is THE big one, so choose well.

If you are a Christian, rejoice as you did the day you accepted Jesus in your life as your personal Savior. Send this to someone you love who needs Jesus, and follow it with a phone call to discuss this blessing. Then decide to make Him the Lord of your life as well.

Prayer
My Father and my Lord, I believe that Your Son died for my sins. Please forgive me for all my past. I'm ready for a change. I want to follow You ... and do life Your way. I know that I cannot undo my past through my own accomplishments. Thanks for sending Your Son to pay the ultimate price, to pay my penalty for me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who died so that I may have eternity with the only God, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.
Romans 3:23-24

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Stepping Stones: Forgiveness: The Reason and the Responsibility

February 15, 2012

Transformational Thought


We hear the following phrase a lot, but often in the wrong context or delivered from an impure heart: Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free - John 8:32. Forgiveness requires that we face the truth: the truth of Christ's forgiveness; the truth of our own need for forgiveness; the truth that if we are ever to be free we must receive Christ's forgiveness, and forgive those who have hurt us.

You see, in order to experience true freedom, we must forgive those who have caused us harm or disappointment … even when that means forgiving ourselves. All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory. But God treats us much better than we deserve … because of Christ Jesus. When we turn to Him, He freely accepts us and sets us free from our sins.

How can we do less? Forgiven by the Lord, we have the power, the reason, and the responsibility to forgive others. Forgiveness is not a feeling we need to muster up, it is an actual choice we make. When you realize it is a choice, then you must consider, “what are my options?” So let’s take a look.

Door #1: You don’t forgive. You remain aloof and detached, or bitter, resentful, angry, and vengeful. A terrible side effect is that people still have power over you. That’s because you need to extract some payment or amends from them … an apology, their suffering or an experience of pain, a sacrifice, or penance. And they can withhold it as long as they want and play you like a puppet.

Door #2: You do forgive. It becomes easier to let go of the bitterness, revenge, and entitlement. You experience freedom from the past. You have an opportunity to grow something better with them. Or you can totally disconnect from them because now you don’t need anything to make the “transaction” complete. You have relieved them of their debt, so they can’t “withhold” anything from you to string you along. Now you are letting God be their judge. And He is much better at determining their consequences and doling it out to them.

Sometimes it is hard to let go. In fact, when we have been deeply hurt, it may not be possible to forgive … on our own, that is. But it is important to remember that we don't have to do it alone. Through the power of Christ, God has forgiven us. When we truly and humbly accept that, we have the perspective and power to forgive anyone else for any transgression against us. That’s real freedom! Your decision, so choose well. WITHIN REACH helps you overcome your obstacles to forgiving others.

Today, examine your heart. Identify relationships where there is uneasiness, anger, bitterness, resentment, revenge, sarcasm, or irritation. You probably have to make a decision about forgiveness. If you are struggling to forgive, ask God to help you. He loves you. He cares and He is able. Look at your other option. It is more painful to withhold forgiveness than it is to forgive.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I've kept these feelings of resentment and unforgiveness buried much too long. Help me to face the truth … and then to forgive myself and others. I now realize that forgiveness isn’t about others feeling good. It is for me to feel better and be right with You! Thank you for your mercy and forgiveness. Help me to show the same to others, even those who have hurt me. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who paid for my forgiveness, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Romans 3:23-24

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Stepping Stones: The Mystery and Power of Romance

February 14, 2012

Transformational Thought


Today is Valentine’s Day, a great day to be in love. It’s so special to have the blessing of a relationship with my best friend ... to love her and feel her love for me. Unfortunately though, I feel convicted because I don’t express my love everyday to my wife, Martine, like I do on Valentine’s Day. But getting back to today, we are reminded about romance. Like other holidays in our society, this one has become overly commercial, but it can still serve as a reminder to us about the beauty of true romance.

No matter how we try to describe or define it, even with the help of the best greeting card, romance remains an awesome mystery. However, as with all aspects of life, the Bible remains the real source of truth, even when it comes to the essentials of romance! In Solomon’s Song of Songs, we get a glimpse of the mystery and power of romance. In this most evocative description of romantic love, we are taught that it means intimacy, connection, and intense emotional excitement. We see how deep affection inspires desire and complete appreciation for another … that being romantic means to pursue, at all costs, the object of our affection.

Isn’t that what Jesus did? Didn’t he pursue us all the way from heaven down to a dirty manger … giving up kingship to be subjected to a bunch of inferior knuckleheaded humans … giving up His life very painfully? And the worst was being on the cross for 3 hours, enduring excruciating spiritual separation from His Father and the Holy Spirit after having been intimately and eternally intertwined with them until that point. He willingly endured all that to be in a passionate and intimate relationship with each one of us.

The book of Hosea tells how we stray towards superficial one-night stands, yet God still loves and pursues us. Oh, how He is saddened when we reject Him, just as our hearts break when we are rejected by others. (And we haven’t given Him even 1% of what He gives us.) The most important thing we learn in Hosea is that God intended romance on Earth to culminate in the unbreakable bond of married love. It is a shame how we have reduced the value of marriage, love, and sex. Instead, God wants us to follow His plan for romance … how it really plays out and fulfills us. We miss so much blessing when we stray from His plan.

Today, in addition to (or as a replacement for) the card, flowers and candy, read passages from Song of Songs to your Valentine. Our Lord and God would not have provided us with this scriptural celebration of love and romance unless He intended it to be inspiring example for us. Think about what Jesus willingly sacrificed and what God regularly does for you … all to romance you. Why wouldn’t you romance God and Jesus back? Life and your relationships are your decisions, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, I thank You for the blessing of romantic attraction and the gift of love at first sight You blessed me with when I saw Martine that first night. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of Your love for me by sending her to love me. Please help me show her my love for her as a glimpse of Your love for her. I pray that all who are part of the Stepping Stones community would pursue their spouse and partner joyfully and creatively for all the days of their lives in a way that is pleasing to You. I pray this in the name of the One whom You sent to teach us how to love, Jesus Christ; And all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
My beloved is mine, and I am his...
Song of Solomon 2:16

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
Song of Solomon 8:6

Monday, February 13, 2012

Stepping Stones: Wound Salve: Forgiveness

February 13, 2012

Transformational Thought


We all experience setbacks and disappointments in life. Sometimes they are small ones that we shrug off or learn from. And then we move on. But sometimes disappointments have a much bigger impact. These past disappointments stay with us, causing the past to haunt our present … then bleed into our future and disrupt it.

These setbacks could be anything: bankruptcy … a failed marriage … termination from a job … a poor decision … a friendship gone sour. It might be losing a parent at a young age or the death of a spouse or someone else we cared for deeply. It could be being a victim of various kinds of abuse. Rejection, whether small or large, from parents, teachers, peers, the popular group, a crush, or an employer, inflicts wounds. Unless really processed (and who can truly do that as a young kid?) these wounds will periodically open and ooze when we experience present day hurts. Theses hurts could be in our own lives, noticed in others, or even seen in the media.

A natural tendency when we have suffered a wound is to try to place blame on someone. Perhaps we hold another person responsible. Sometimes we blame ourselves. We might even get angry with God. Anger is OK, but bitterness, revenge, or helplessness is not. These are a few signs that real forgiveness hasn’t taken place yet.

God has promised us a future and a hope. But not forgiving the offender who hurt us can block our ability to experience all the freedom and healing that He has planned for us – healing for our past wounds, and worse yet, their insidious ripples in our lives. As long as we are unwilling to forgive, the hurt of the past has control over our lives, and we cannot move forward. You see, forgiveness is the salve that soothes every wound and makes them ready for the powerful healing that the death of Christ and the grace of God will ultimately bring.

Today, for some of you, it’s time to focus on forgiving those who have hurt you. For others, it's probably time to forgive yourself. God has, so don’t be so prideful as to think you could never forgive yourself. It's time to open your heart to the love and forgiveness of our heavenly Father. And then you will be set free from some of your past and it will be time to move on to the wonderful plans He has for you. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Father, help me to truly put the past behind and look forward to what lies ahead. Some days the bitterness of past hurts cloud my true calling. Those are such tough days, but now I see it is a choice. Thank You for forgiving my sins. Help me to walk in the gift of forgiveness … for others and myself. Help me search those past wounds with different lenses, those of an adult, growing in the knowledge and skills of Christ. Guide my learning and help me to apply what I learn so I can produce the good works, inside and outside, that you have prepared me for, even through those past wounds. I pray this through the One who gave His life to forgive my sins, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3:13-14

To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.
Acts 26:18

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Stepping Stones: Do You Have Friends or Fools?

February 11-12, 2012

Transformational Thought


As I look back over my childhood, I recall my mother paying close attention to those I selected as friends. If she saw me making friends with someone she thought was not a healthy relationship, she would clearly warn me that a bad apple spoils the whole batch, and we are who we hang out with. She told me that God would always provide two new, great friends for every not-so-good-friend that I lost. I’m not sure where to find that verse in the Bible.

Today's scripture makes it clear that our choice of friends plays a vital role in our lives. This is especially true for teenagers. They are no longer children, but they are not yet adults in judgment either. To fit in, feel valued, develop their “own” identity separate from their parents, or to figure out who they are, teens tend to pick up or adopt many of the behaviors, values, and characteristics of the people they are observing and hanging around.

This is a difficult age for teens. They don't understand their limitations, and underestimate or fail to recognize many dangers. Parents will allow them to make many more independent decisions than in the past, but must still enforce some boundaries when there are activities or relationships that could cause their teens harm.

We often think peer pressure is silly and cowardly. But just think how many times you let other’s opinions or fear of rejection influence your thoughts or actions. Please recognize the peer pressure impacting your teen, and offer alternative answers. Do not "put down" your child's friends, but rather encourage godly relationships.

Church attendance is very important and should not be optional. Church youth groups can be invaluable sources of godly friends and activities. Encourage your teen to take part in these. Strongly encourage involvement in extra-curricular activities. Sports, band, specialty clubs, dance or music lessons are all possibilities for healthy involvement.

If you are having a hard time wrapping your mind around why our kids crumble and do such stupid things, and are easily influenced by their peers, just look at how many adults act. Trying to keep up with the Joneses, playing games and politics in the workplace, gossiping, influencing others to engage in inappropriate work practices, having affairs at work. We adults struggle to discern friends from fools and we often don’t model what we preach.

Today, focus on being involved as a family in godly activities with godly people who have kids the same age as your teenager. Examine the friendships and the relationships that influence your behavior. Are you proud of what you are doing? Don't have ungodly relationships … your teen will notice the hypocrisy. Life is your decision, so choose well because your kids are watching.

Prayer
My dear heavenly Father, parenting is so hard. Such a rollercoaster of emotions! Such pain when they are in pain or on a dangerous road. Please lead my children, regardless of their ages, into relationships that will influence them in a positive way. Give me wisdom to guide them and courage to protect them. Help me love the friends whom I do not approve, and remember to pray for them also. I pray this in the name our perfect friend, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.
Proverbs 13:20

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.
1 John 2:9,10

Friday, February 10, 2012

Stepping Stones: Loss Is Your Door to His Stability

February 10, 2012

Transformational Thought


As young children, one thing we learn quickly is the reality of loss. Missing a meal, seeing others whose needs do get met, losing a mother’s attention to a newborn sibling, losing a beloved toy, losing at games, loss through divorce or job relocation. Loss of innocence through abuse or extreme life circumstances.

Life is filled with many kinds of losses. But despite the cause, one thing is certain: all loss hurts, regardless of its size. We recover quickly from some losses … but others take months or even years to absorb and process. Certain losses are temporary while others are permanent.

In today's economic environment in which businesses are closing and downsizing, many are facing the loss of their jobs. This kind of loss can be devastating to anyone, but especially to the breadwinner of a family. Even if it is a second job, it may represent a threat to survival, credibility, and stability for our spouse or kids.

Job loss can produce many emotions, but fear is usually at the root of any uncomfortable response. Will I lose my home? My child is leaving for college this fall—will I have to break the news that it will be impossible? We have built up credit card debt trying to keep our heads above water … what now? Who will respect me? Will our marriage survive this pressure?

These and many other concerns are very real and can seem extremely threatening. If we keep our eyes on the waves of hardship, we will sink into despair and hopelessness. This is a time when it is difficult … but imperative … to focus on Jesus, not on the problems. This is a time to remember that He, not our job, is our source of value, peace, security, comfort, redemption, and abundance.

We may go through some real challenges. We may have to tighten our belts and make some sacrifices. These struggles are not easy, but with Jesus we have hope and a powerful peace. Our job may be gone and the economy may be falling apart, but God has not changed. Step back from the hardship and see your life from God’s perspective. It is because of his mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed.

Today, dig into the areas where you struggle or have experienced some recent hardship. What is the fear at the bottom of the issue? Infuse Jesus’ teachings into your fear, let Him bring healing and comfort to your pain. Then re-evaluate your struggle through these new lenses. Remember, great and abundant is His stability and faithfulness in all things. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and Lord, This economy and my finances have left me feeling angry and fearful. Help me to regroup … to remember that You are here, that You love me and my family, and that You have a plan. Help me remember that this economy and my recent loss have not taken You by surprise … and that You have already made a way for me. Thank You that Your compassion never fails and that Your stability and faithfulness are abundant. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who provides my stability, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Stepping Stones: Are You Carsick on Your Spiritual Journey?

February 9, 2012

Transformational Thought

My father-in-law emigrated here from Scotland, so most of Martine’s family still lives there. We have been blessed to go to Scotland twice. On one of those trips, we were driving from the Isle of Skye to the Mull of Kintyre. As we drove through the Highlands we saw beautiful views … waterfalls and lush green landscapes with some Highland Coos alongside the windy, scenic roads. We stopped for fish and chips at a small, quaint fishing village. Everything on this 7-hour trip was going great until we added a PB&J snack. At that point nine-year-old Dominique got carsick and vomited all over the back seat and on Nicole. It was the first time she ever threw up.

Have you ever been carsick? It’s a weird feeling. The primary reason for carsickness is that as the car races along, passengers are not able to focus on a solid object. But who is the one person in a car that never gets carsick? The driver. So why are drivers protected? They are focused on the road ahead, looking intently at the solid objects outside the car that aren't bouncing and turning. They have a good sense of where the horizon is. Their vision, perspective, and worldview are grounded in something unchanging – fixed objects and the horizon.

In carsickness, the main problem is the conflicting data between our eyes, our inner ear motion receptors, and the motion receptors in the tissues below our skin. When we intentionally walk, all 3 of these areas are in sync and focused on a common motion task, therefore, motion sickness doesn’t exist. When we are a passenger in a car, these sensory tools get out of sync and confusion leads to sickness.

The key is in the word focus. When we are focused … intentionally walking forward, not distracted in several different directions and confusing our inner systems, no motion sickness occurs.

Obviously, the same phenomenon happens to us spiritually. Are we focusing on Christ … who never changes … or are we focusing on the circumstances that keep turning and swirling … changing as the wind blows? The merry-go-round of life keeps spinning and our focus is on temporary, amorphous, fleeting, slip-through-your-fingers answers. Then we wonder why we feel lonely, overwhelmed, frustrated, purposeless, devalued. These are all symptoms of Spiritual Carsickness. Focusing on Jesus will bring much-needed direction and get rid of some of the motion sickness we experience on our spiritual journey.

Today, when you face adversity, on what truths or principles will you focus? Are they from the grounded, tested truths of the Bible? Or are they flimsy, vacillating, imitations from this world? Are you focusing too much on external circumstances instead of your inner relationship with God? Feeling carsick on your spiritual journey is a warning sign that you aren’t focused on the absolute truth. Re-orient and focus back on the cross and God’s promises, and bring this focus to those trouble areas. WITHIN REACH will teach you skills and self-assessment tools to keep you focused on God in all your everyday activities and decisions. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and Lord, I know I have been focusing too much on problems instead of on Jesus. And as the circumstances around me change, I have become confused and discouraged … I am almost constanly “car sick.” I am bouncing from one crutch to another, looking for answers in so many wrong places. Help me fix my eyes on Jesus. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who focused only on You, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Stepping Stones: Don’t Let Mutant Easter Bunnies Scare You

February 8, 2012

Transformational Thought

When our oldest daughter, Dominique, was about four years old, we took her to Dairy Queen to see the Easter Bunny. While driving there, she became more excited and I was pumped to see her smiling with joy. We walked in and saw what I expected, a 6-foot tall Easter Bunny. But poor Dominique was scared and terrified, because she was expecting a little six-inch Easter Bunny. She was afraid the oversized bunny was going to attack her. She cried and didn’t take her eyes off him for one second … and never even touched her beloved ice cream. Needless to say, after seeing her so scared and unable to warm up to the mutant Easter Bunny, we left pretty quickly.

We have all experienced fear and discouragement at times. In today’s scripture, God is speaking to Joshua, telling him to be strong and courageous. “Do not be afraid or discouraged.” How is this possible?

You see, Joshua was faced with the tremendous responsibility of leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, conquering the land, and setting up residence. There would be times of defeat … great challenges … biting criticism … and immense frustration. And yet God told him not to be fearful or discouraged … “because the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

What a wonderful promise! As we submit to God, making Jesus Lord of our lives, we, too, can be assured that He will be with us wherever we go. He will protect us, comfort us, defend us, teach us, guide us, and love us unconditionally. No matter how bleak things may look, or what challenges or sorrows we may face, we can know that our heavenly Father is with us. And as we trust Him and walk in obedience, He will work all things together for our good and growth.

Are you feeling afraid or discouraged right now? Perhaps you don’t feel as though God is with you. The good news is that feelings can lie … but God’s promises are always true.

Today, no matter what your circumstances, you can be strong and courageous. Think about where you get your confidence from as you engage in your everyday activities … or when the pressure is on. Does your confidence come from you? If so, your confidence reserve is pretty shallow and will soon run out. Your confidence needs to come from God … from His promises, teachings, and character. WITHIN REACH will help you see the source of your confidence and learn how to tap into God and the Holy Spirit for true confidence and empowerment. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and my Lord, Thank You that I can always count on You. Even though I don’t always sense Your presence, help me to remember Your Word - that You are always with me. Help me to focus on You, not on the circumstances. Help me to be strong and courageous. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who teaches us how to be strong and courageous, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Stepping Stones: Are You Looking in the Right Places?

February 7, 2012

Transformational Thought


God never promised us days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain … but He did promise strength to get through each day, comfort for the tears, and a lighthouse to guide the way. As you provide care, comfort, energy, finances or support for an aging parent, or a disabled family member, a young child, or a friend in need, God is the only place to turn to for lasting strength and hope.

While at times you might not understand the reasons that you and your family are facing these challenges, if you seek God, you will definitely find Him. He promises to hear your prayers and meet your needs. He is your source. He is the one who will make the impossible, possible. He has so much for us, but we have to look in the right places. His peace won’t be found in a bar, in food, an affair, money, pornography, or anything on this earth. Too often we look in the wrong places and wonder why we don’t find His love, comfort, peace, grace, forgiveness, or instruction.

I mistakenly look at myself for answers, rather than all His provisions. Oftentimes, my initial reaction is to do as much as I can. God did give me the gift of problem solving, so I get after the problem. Then when I reach the end of my resources and skills, I call on God. I have that in the wrong order and need to turn it around so I am seeking God first, then being a good steward of my skills and attacking the problem.

Too often, we exhaust ourselves with our own efforts before we ask God for His help and provision. We focus on the need and become overwhelmed by it. But He will help us. He wants us to pray to Him for the strength, wisdom, and resources to accomplish His will.

Today, when you have difficult circumstances, notice whether you feel His peace and comfort. If so, that’s awesome. If not, then examine where you look or what you turn to for God’s support in times of stress. Take time to meditate on God's Word. The Bible has a great deal to say about aging and care giving concerns. You will find guidance, strength and hope. Open your Bible and spend quiet time with God every day. No matter how busy you are, determine to set aside that special time with Him. And remember that He is with you every moment of the day. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear God, at times I get so weary, physically and emotionally. And sometimes I find myself turning everywhere else for help before coming to You. Help me remember to always come to You first. I know that You are truly my source of strength. You have so many promises and are faithful to them. Help me remember that when my lenses get stressed and fuzzy. I want to look to You, and not to cheap imitations for peace and comfort. I pray this and all prayers in the name of the One who is my ultimate caregiver, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6:31-34

Monday, February 6, 2012

Stepping Stones: Are You Listening?

February 6, 2012

Transformational Thought


By now, you should know I’m big on decision-making. I have 3 great daughters, 19, 17, and 11 years old … really great kids, and most of the time I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. But all parents wonder at times about the decisions our children make. When mine choose impulsive, shortsighted, me-centered, immediate gratification, or flat out “what were you thinking” wrong decisions, they certainly weren’t listening to the advice I gave them.

Then to whom were they listening if it wasn’t me? And why were they listening to that advice? That “advisor” doesn’t love them as much as I do … doesn’t know them as well as I do … doesn’t want the best for them as much as I do … won’t risk it all for their safety and survival like I will. How dumb can my kids be, accepting advice from people or media that function like a random decision-spewing slot machine that isn’t invested in them?

WOW, glad I finally fixed them! Now, what about you? When you make decisions, whose instructions are you following? You will make between 5,000 and 10,000 decisions per day … seriously. And that is actually a conservative estimate. When you make some of your decisions, to which voice do you listen? The crazy world’s message and mantra about where happiness comes from … or Satan’s prodding … your flesh and it’s ‘MY kingdom come’ agenda? Or do you seek to hear the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice and God’s instruction manual, The Holy Bible?

In today's passage, God is lamenting the fact that no one is listening. You can feel the sadness in His heart as He speaks these words. He pleads with His people: Please listen to Me!

He is speaking to you too! Why? Because He loves you and wants to save you from so much hardship and its consequences ... just as we give our kids instruction and pointers for long term fulfillment and satisfaction. God actually knows more than any parent. He sees and knows the future. He created you, so He knows exactly what you need and the way you need it.

Jesus said, "My sheep, listen to My voice." These words were directed toward Israel, but God wants all of His children to listen.

Today, listen to God during your prayer time ... and throughout the day. The Holy Spirit is constantly teaching, guiding, coaching, and warning us. God wants us to talk to Him, then listen to His response. Practice being still. Clear the clutter Satan throws at you to muffle God’s voice. Open The Holy Bible and “read” His voice. It’s all about choices. Whose voice will you listen to?
Your decision, one of 10,000 today, so choose well.

Prayer
My Father and my Lord, I am guilty of listening to some other voice and giving it, not You, lordship over my life. Please forgive me. I know You have so much You are telling me through Your Holy Spirit in me, through Your word, The Holy Bible, and through my circumstances. Please help me open my heart, and tune my mind to Your frequency. I know Your plans for me are way better than the ones I have for myself. So in that moment of temptation, please give me eyes that see and follow You. I pray this in the name of the Your perfect listener, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Listen to me, O my people, while I give you stern warnings. O Israel, if you would only listen to me! … But no, my people wouldn’t listen … Oh, that my people would listen to me!
Psalm 81:8, 11, 13

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
John 10:27

He has never wandered off to do his own thing; he has been right there, listening.
Psalm 22:24

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Stepping Stones: Mixed Super Bowl Memories

February 4-5, 2012

Transformational Thought


I’m a Steelers’ fan … born in the Pittsburgh area … so Super Bowls in the 70’s, my teen years, were unbelievable events as my beloved Steel Curtain smashed their way to an unprecedented 4 championships in 6 years. Teamwork, sacrifice, perseverance, commitment, intentionality, practice, heroes, legends, invincibility, power, role models. I learned so much through those fun Super Bowl Sundays.

For a while though, Super Bowl Sunday also conjured up some terrible memories. You see, from late high school through college and into medical school, I made a lot of poor choices leading to many issues including a significant alcohol addiction. My worst memory ever: January 25, 1987, Super Bowl Sunday … middle of medical school, an awesome future ahead of me. It started off at a party with a bunch of med school friends. Through a series of progressively stupider decisions … consuming lots of alcohol, winning $600, more “celebrating” at a strip bar, driving drunk (after a severe snow and ice storm), 6 counts of aggravated assault, a cut, bruised and battered body … I ended up in a Newark jail. Could’ve gotten killed, or worse, killed others, several times that evening.

Jail … it was what I needed at that time to protect me from myself, Satan, and the world … it was the best place to think. And God really spoke to me. I finally listened and decided that life according to my instruction book … my kingdom come, my will be done mentality … wasn’t working. My hole kept getting deeper and deeper over a 10-year stretch. I finally understood what Jesus did for me, and what God wanted to do in my life … transform me and bless me with an abundant life by fulfilling all my needs. I started to really know, love, and delight in my Lord. I finally decided to make Him not just Savior, but also Lord of my life.

Well, it took me several years to sort it out and really appreciate that day, and now I look back and thank God so much for what He has done for and through me. My terrible memories of that one Super Bowl Sunday have been wiped clean with the blood of Christ. What He has blessed me with since then … spiritual growth, a loving wife, my girls, friends, profession, ministry, coworkers, experiences, has been beyond my wildest dreams, especially compared to being in jail facing felony charges. (Not wanting to test God, I always make sure I am in a safe place Super Sunday.)

Today, realize that each decision, regardless of how big or small it is, has definite ripples. Are you measuring the ripple effect? Second, if you are experiencing difficulties, hope is in the Lord, not in your efforts or abilities. Third, if you have done some terrible things in the past, God will forgive and help you move forward, using even those events in powerful ways to impact you, others, and His kingdom. Lastly, after accepting Christ as your personal Savior, make the defining decision of your life on Earth to let Him be the Lord of your life. That’s when life really comes alive and makes sense as it pushes you to connect fully with Him. Life is your decision, so choose well. And enjoy the game.

Prayer
Dear Father God, You, Your love, and grace are truly amazing. I thank You for not leaving me even though I left You many times. Thanks for landing me in jail, so I finally could block out all the distractions of life and meet You and listen to what You had been trying to tell me for many years. Thanks for the tremendous opportunity to serve You and for Your willingness to use me in Your service … it is truly humbling. I pray this in the name of the One I delight in, Jesus Christ; And all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
Psalm 37:4

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
John 10:10

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:1-2

Friday, February 3, 2012

Stepping Stones: Are You” Super Bowling” Everyday Life?

February 3, 2012

Transformational Thought

Super Bowl Sunday has almost become a national holiday. It’s the most-watched TV show with 111 million viewers, taking in $2.8 million for a 30 second commercial, and it’s the biggest betting day of the year. On this day more employees “call-out-sick”, 1 billion wings are eaten, the most pizzas are ordered, and unfortunately, it’s the worst day for domestic violence.

The Super Bowl is an unbelievable event … so much emotion, buildup, and expectations. The winner is remembered and worshipped forever, and the loser is branded a choker… forever, or until they get back again and win. The commercials, halftime mega-shows, plays, players, and personalities are seared in our minds or become societal icons.

One Super Bowl a year is enough, just ask my wife. Can you imagine 2 a year, or one per month, or heaven forbid, weekly Super Bowls? We would be overwhelmed, on edge, emotionally spent, fed up, bankrupt, hung-over, and paralyzed.

But you see, life is the same way. We have “Super Bowl” events … meeting God, getting married, birthing a child, losing a loved one, starting day-1 on the dream job, having an affair, taking grand vacations, learning a child has a disability, starting school, helping a child leave for college, experiencing divorce, getting fired, coping with a natural disaster, 9/11. You get the idea … they don’t happen every week. Then we have some “playoff game” events whose immediate and long term impact are important but smaller. And some other life events rank on the very-important-regular-season-game level.

The reality: 99% of life is either a regular season game or even a preseason game in level of importance and impact. The problem: we react to many of our daily events as if they had the importance and impact of a Super Bowl or playoff game. To prove it to you, we forget these same events within 1-15 days. We can’t handle the emotional rollercoaster of 6 Super Bowls a year, let alone 3 Super Bowls a day. While only few people are “drama queens”, most people fall into the Super Bowl mentality trap. We erroneously feel many things in life are all-important and life-changing.

Patients, both male and female, tell me they have been impacted by one question I’ve asked, namely, “Does that event really rate the ‘Super Bowl‘ level of importance you are giving it?” The question really helps people gain a more eternal, realistic, and Godly perspective about everyday events.

Today, remember Super Bowl-magnitude events usually occur once or twice a year. Look at how you react to minor disruptions and ask yourself, “Is this situation really a Super Bowl event in magnitude and long term impact, or am I having an exaggerated response?” If you are inappropriately “Super Bowling” it, ask yourself “Why?” and “How often do I do this?” Parents, you’ll probably be amazed as you contemplate your reactions to your kid’s behavior. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear Father God, thanks for being sovereign over all things … this truth, and my faith in Your sovereignty gives me such peace in most situations. I confess though, that sometimes I over-react to the spiritual warfare and minutiae of the day and blow it into a Super Bowl level of importance. Give me discernment and the Mind of Christ to realize what really is important and what isn’t. I pray this in the name of the greatest ‘Super Bowl’ event of all time, Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection; And all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?
Luke 12:25,26

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:15-17

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Stepping Stones: Are You Taking Inventory, or Just Winging It?

February 2, 2012

Transformational Thought


Business is often complicated and messy. Always in a rush … scurrying around … solving problems … putting out fires … personnel issues … contracts and deals. Good business owners slow life down, sort the pieces, and then count them. They take regular inventory of their stock. These inventories are a useful business-planning tool that can reveal growth, decline in productivity, or show possible obstacles to growth. Most importantly, inventories guide and assist business owners in making changes for a better future.

The merry-go-round of life is constantly accelerating, ‘til we hit the retirement home. Just as business owners do, taking a regular inventory of our lives is mandatory. It helps us answer questions about the direction our lives take. Are we growing or declining in character development … in spiritual maturity? Are we moving toward our goals, or do obstacles hinder our progress? Are we growing in our relationship with God? What changes do we need to make to move ahead more effectively? What strategies, if any, have we been using, and more importantly, are they working?

You see, when we look in the mirror and get honest with ourselves, we see that we are lazy and don’t want to look back at our mistakes. Our strategy for growth is to randomly “wing it today to get by, and deal with the ramifications tomorrow.” Satan obviously wants to distract you from applying any of God’s teaching into a strategy for growth. When I sat and took a serious and brutally honest inventory of my life, I realized the Instruction Book of Life according to Karl really wasn’t working. Worse yet, instead of being the biggest asset to my pursuit of happiness, I was my biggest obstacle. I then made a decision to follow God’s instruction book … and WOW!

Know that God loves you and wants to help you eliminate the things in your life that may be hurting you and others. But before He can help you, you must face up to the fact that these problems exist. Remember … Jesus is with you. He will not disappoint you in your time of personal searching. Open your heart and challenge Him; He will reveal and give you the desires of your heart.

Today, decide to take inventory of your life. Consider your relationships with God, self, family, church, and friends. Be honest. Ask God to help you see things as they really are … not as you intellectually think they are. Face any obstacles, either within you or outside of you … without making excuses. In WITHIN REACH, we call this step Summary Thought. It is a powerful step in transformation.

Prayer
Dear Father, I confess I make mistakes. Instead of trying to sweep them under the carpet, help me take a good, honest look at myself. Help me see what is pleasing to You … and what is disappointing to You. Help me understand a concrete plan to begin moving forward in areas of my life in which I am struggling. Help me to reorder my life under You and according to Your will. I want to develop a disciplined strategy and not just wing it everyday. I pray this in the name of Your Son who always searched Himself well, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD
Lamentations 3:40

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
Romans 12:3

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Stepping Stones: Enabling: Good Intentions Gone Wrong

February 1, 2012

Transformational Thought

We have all seen a loved one make some destructive decisions. When someone we love is in the grip of a harmful pattern, we naturally want to help. In spite of our best intentions though, our efforts are sometimes actually more harmful than helpful. The psychobabble term for this is “enabling,” otherwise known as “good intentions gone wrong.”

Enabling means providing someone with the power or means to continue the very dysfunctional behavior that your action is actually trying to stop or prevent. In essence, enabling makes it a lot easier for those who are struggling to continue in their self-destructive behaviors.

A major component of our enabling behaviors is that they keep our struggling loved one from feeling the painful consequences that are important and could significantly influence them to stop their dysfunctional decisions before their problems spiral out of control. Today's Scripture cautions us that if we rescue people from the consequences of their choices, we'll just have to do it again … and again. We are then called a “nag” or a “martyr” when we try to “undo” the enabling and hound intrude on them about the behavior.

Here are common examples of enabling. Do you find yourself covering up or “living with” the behavior of a friend, child, or loved one, or bailing them out of trouble? You might make excuses for them or even blame yourself for their problem. Are you reminding them to do certain chores or tasks so that they don’t get the consequences they deserve? Do you find yourself giving them "one more chance"… over and over again? Do you care more than they do about the consequences they might get? Do you feel you are being held hostage by their behaviors?

A big component of our enabling behavior is our inability to tolerate negative feelings in others or ourselves. These feelings are generated when someone struggles and faces potential consequences. We feel very uncomfortable when they feel sad, hurt, or have to endure a consequence, or when we anticipate their sadness or enduring consequences. So we keep nagging, threatening, or pushing them to accomplish their task, and sometimes we even do the task for them. Perhaps we do their homework or project, drive them to school after missing the bus, give them one last chance – for the third time.

Today, be mindful that your responsibility to your troubled loved one is to be supportive and to facilitate their growth, not to inhibit it in their particular area of struggle. You need to empathize and pray for, but not fix it, because they need to learn how to fix it. You aren’t going to be around all the time. You need to encourage them when they have made an error, but not protect them from the necessary consequences. You must allow them to learn from the natural consequences of their actions and not rescue them. All of us need to look at whether we are helping or harming the struggling people in our lives. And then we can begin the process of being a supporter instead of an enabler. Let God, not you, determine the consequences that will open their eyes, change their behavior, and hopefully, transform their heart. Life is your decision, so choose well.

Prayer
Dear God, not trying to fix my loved one’s problems is so hard. My urge is to come to the rescue instead of letting her suffer the consequences. I realize now, that when I rescue her, I am actually crippling her from learning skills to rescue herself. Then I have to come to the rescue again and again … and nothing really gets fixed. Teach me to be a supporter instead of an enabler. Help me guide them to You … help me to trust You more. Give me the peace to tolerate my uneasiness and the discomfort of others. Help me to allow Your consequences and lessons for them to play out. I pray this in the name of the One who gives me strength in all circumstances, Jesus Christ; and all God’s children say - AMEN!

The Truth
A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.
Proverbs 19:19

And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything. "But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you.
Luke 15:16-18